


The Bodyguard

by Tilltheendwilliwrite



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Danger, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Heavy Angst, Past Sexual Assault, Swearing, тэг заменён на Don't copy to another site
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2019-09-14 16:32:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 75,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16916379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tilltheendwilliwrite/pseuds/Tilltheendwilliwrite
Summary: Penny Rogers is in a bind. Someone out there wants to kill her. With her brother, Captain Steve Rogers, America’s Golden Hero and First Avenger, fretting in her ear, she gives in to his demands and accepts a bodyguard in the form of one James Buchanan Barnes, a Sergeant with a metal arm and Steve’s best friend.As they work together to keep Penny alive and figure out who wants her dead, can they both ignore the past, or will the attraction rising between them force them both to face their mistakes head-on?Alternate Marvel Universe - Set Present Day





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Warnings: Blood, attempted murder, swearing

## Chapter One

 

* * *

Her heels clicked loudly in the empty parking garage as she dug for her keys. Such was the bane of carrying a large bag. While it gave her the space she needed to put in everything which may be required in the course of a day, it made it virtually impossible to find shit all, especially something small like her keys.

With a quiet curse, Penelope - Penny - Rogers dropped to her knees six cars away from her practical black sedan where she upended the bag on the concrete. Thankfully, it was late, and there was no one around to witness her less than elegant search through the pile of junk in her purse.

Lipstick. Mascara. Pens, pens, and more pens. One would think she would be able to find a pen when she needed it, but not so much.

A half-finished package of cough drops had broken open and come unwrapped, sticking to everything and anything in a nasty mess. Notebook, notebook, smaller notebook. Cell phone, backup cell phone - the one she used to call Steve when she needed to speak to her brother directly. A wad of tissues was shoved back in the bag. Three tampons in colourful packaging which, really, weren’t fooling anyone.

What did the manufacturer’s think, if they made them pretty men wouldn’t know what those long narrow wrappers actually contained?

Penny rolled her eyes at the stupidity.

Her compact umbrella was stuffed back in the bag, and she damn near shouted for joy when the jangle of keys rattled beneath it. She snatched them from the ground, scooped the rest of her crap into her bag, and was on her way back to her feet when she clicked the auto start by accident.

The car growled to life, the sound noticeably odd to her, right before the vehicle exploded in a fireball of metal and flames blowing her off her feet.

Ears ringing, Penny stared at the roof of the parking garage, the smoke beginning to billow, burned her eyes and choked her lungs. She coughed as she rolled to her side, assessing her injuries like Steve had taught her. Her head hurt, her back on the left and elbow on the same side ached, but other than the thumping of her skull she appeared relatively unscathed for someone who’d nearly blown up.

Dear god… _she’d nearly blown up._

She gasped as the realization hit hard and scrambled to her feet, jerking her purse with her as she ran for the safety of the building. The keycard at her waist was slapped against the reader, and she stumbled through the door. Once inside, she raced for the elevator, ignoring the alarms screaming and the guard coming at her. Right now, all she knew was her office was secure. There was a place she could bolt and wait for Steve.

She swiped her card for the elevator, smacked the button for her floor, and looked up to see the night guard - who’d wished her good evening but minutes ago - raise his gun. The shock had her lifting her hand in denial as the doors began to close. The shot rang out clipping the door and in turn her shoulder.

“Fuck!” burst from her lips as the elevator shot upward.

Steve said being shot hurt, but he hadn’t said it hurt like a mother fucker!

She dug for the secure phone, dragged it out, and punched the call button with extreme force, ignoring the blood which dripped from her arm and trickled down her face.

“Hey, baby girl,” Steve’s jovial voice came through the line. “I thought you were joining us at the-”

“Stevie,” she cut him off, her voice shaking. “Someone’s trying to kill me.”

“Where are you?”

All business, she could hear the chair he was in hit the wall and slam to the floor. “Elevator. Heading for my office.”

“You get in that panic room, and you keep your ass in it till I get there! Are you hurt?”

“There’s blood. I can’t tell how much. They blew up my car and the night guard tried to shoot me when I ran for it,” she said, taking off her heels and tucking them in her purse. From the side pocket she pulled free the bottle of pepper spray, the only thing she could ever find when she really needed it.

“You got your gun?” he asked, the slamming of a door indicating he was in a vehicle.

“Steve, you know how I feel about guns,” she muttered, watching the elevator countdown.

“You know how I’d feel if you ended up dead!” he barked.

Penny breathed out a shaky breath, biting her lip to keep from crying. “Stevie.”

“I’m sorry, Pen. We’re on our way. What’s your ETA?”

“Doors opening in two, one.” She swung to the side, waiting as the doors came open. When no shots rang out, she dared a glance out at the dark, empty office.

“Looks clear,” she whispered.

“Put the phone on speaker, baby girl, and tuck it in your bra like we talked about. You need both hands if things go sideways.” Squealing tires and swearing came down the line.

“Please don’t kill yourself on the way here,” she whispered.

“Don’t plan on it,” he murmured back.

She made her way quietly through the lobby, creeping past the reception desk to peer into the open area with its rows of cubicles, cursing herself for not going for the open office plan like she’d wanted and letting Marcus have his way instead.

Step by step, she made her way to her office at the far end of the hall, crouched low and fighting to control her breathing. When a shadow moved, she froze and ducked into a cubicle to wait.

Taking the phone off speaker, she tapped out a text. **Not alone.**

**Wait. Watch. We’re almost there.**

She really hoped he wasn’t texting and driving.

“Come out, ma chère. I will make this quick,” the man ambled down the row said in a clearly French accent. “One to the temple. Painless.”

Penny gave a silent snort and wiped the blood from her eye. As if she was stupid enough to give in. She quite liked being alive, thank you very much.

“Where the fuck is this bitch?” muttered another man, his voice heavily accented, sounding French but not.

Penny frowned but filed it away for later analysis. She had the location of two of the men hunting her. The arrival of the guard who wasn’t one of hers, something she’d noted at the time but had ignored as merely a new hire, made it three.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid. Always trust your gut, Penelope_. How many times had Steve told her that?

“I clipped her,” the non-guard grumbled, his accent all Brooklyn. “There’s blood in the elevator.”

They moved away, voices continuing toward the front of the cubicles, and she darted around the corner, heading quickly for her office. Steps from her door, a hand closed in her hair, and she screamed in pain when it wrenched her upright.

“Caught you, ma pepette!” he giggled.

The sound made Penny’s skin crawl. 

She whipped her hand up, and Penny sprayed the canister over her shoulder, hitting the Frenchman up close and personal in the eyes, nose, and mouth. He sputtered and coughed, choking on the burning liquid, but he released her hair.

Penny ran, aware of the shots and the people coming after her. The door to her office was ajar, the space ransacked, but she didn’t even give it a second glance, just slammed her hand on the biometric plate and darted through the door when it slid swiftly open. Once through, she hit the panic button on the opposite side and had it slam shut with enough force to take off someone’s arm had they tried to stop it.

She leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. “Steve… I made it,” she sobbed, putting the phone back on speaker.

“Thank God,” he sighed. “Okay, darlin’. You sit tight. We’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Penny closed her eyes, curled up, and pulled the phone to her chest, finally letting the tears flow to mix with her blood in a small puddle on the tiles.

***

Steve went through the door with his heart in his throat. She’d stopped answering back moments after she’d said she was safe, and now he was terrified.

The cops had beat him to the building by minutes, the fire department was trying to put out Penny’s car, but when he’d showed up in his dress blues, his Captain status on display, the officers at the door had snapped to attention and waved him through.

It wasn’t until they got to the elevator that someone tried to stop him.

“Sir? Sir! You can’t go up there!”

The kid was young, and Steve sent a hard glance his way. “Son, don’t. That’s my baby sister up there, and the only one who’s going to get her out of her panic room is me, so step back.”

“Cap,” Sam murmured.

With a final glare at the kid, Steve marched for the elevators, glancing at the one with the doors wedged open. Blood, Penny’s blood, was splattered across the back wall, and there was a bullet hole in the panelling. More blood had pooled where it would have dripped from her fingertips on the ride up and seeing it made him sick.

He slapped his ID badge to the elevator beside the stationary one and stepped inside with his jaw tightly clenched. Sam and Natasha took up space to either side of him, and Steve watched the numbers blink as they shot toward her floor.

“She’s alive, Cap. You know she is,” Natasha said softly, her hand lightly touching his elbow.

“She’s been shot, nearly blown up, and you heard her scream, Natasha. Until I have her in my arms and can see for myself…” He clenched his teeth even tighter. Silence descended, allowing him to brood.

She was too damn casual with her safety, too nonchalant for her own good. She was the CEO of her company, smarter than nearly any person Steve had ever known and worked on projects for the government, not even he had clearance to know about.

He’d been afraid this would happen. He’d thought kidnapped, maybe. Taken and forced to reveal her company’s secrets, most likely, but killed? It was his worst nightmare.

When the doors opened again, he stalked with purpose straight through the officers and detectives on his way toward Penny’s office.

“Captain? Captain Rogers?” a man called out, trying to intercept him.

Natasha stepped into the guy’s path. “The Captain is going to get his sister.”

“We haven’t been able to ascertain her whereabouts as of yet,” the man said.

Steve wondered momentarily if Nat would clock him one, but apparently, she was disinclined to add to his stress levels.

“Penelope is in her panic room. Had you bothered to check, you would see the red lights indicating the room was locked down,” she snapped, pointing toward the office.

He didn’t hear what else was said when he walked through the door and over the destroyed remains of her office. Two more officers stood, mouths agape as he went straight to the wall and pressed his hand to the bio-plate. The door slid open with a whoosh, and his breath caught in his chest.

“Medic!” Sam bellowed having followed Steve. “Get a medic in here!”

Steve was afraid to even touch her when he dropped to his knees beside her. Blood had dyed her blonde hair a reddy brown, more had pooled in a puddle beneath her shoulder. Her delicate bone structure had always made her look fragile, but with the bruises, cuts, and smudges of dirt and grime mixed with tear streaks, she looked broken and far too close to meeting their parents for his heart to handle.

“Pen? Penny, baby girl?” he called quietly, lightly touching her shoulder.

Her eyelids fluttered, and she whimpered, “Stevie?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. I’m here.”

She struggled to open her eyes, Penny’s blue orbs pale with pain and confusion once she succeeded. “Someone… hurt me.”

“I know, Pen. I’m gonna find out who and make them pay. Can you tell me if anything is broken?” She shook her head. “Okay, I’m gonna get you some help. Gonna pick you up. Probably going to hurt. I’m sorry for that.”

“S’okay,” she whispered.

She lifted her arm, her trust in him the purest he’d ever known, and Steve slid his arms beneath her as her right one went around his neck. “I got you, Pen. I got you. Just hold on to me.” The whimper she made when he lifted her broke his heart for she sounded like a kicked puppy. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. So sorry.”

“Steve,” she whispered before her head lolled on her neck and she went limp.

“Move!” Steve bellowed, already storming for the door.

“Make a hole!” Sam barked, clearing a path.

“Sir! There’s an ambulance coming,” a detective cried, getting in his way.

Natasha darted past Steve’s elbow and moved the man. “When Cap gives an order, you get the fuck out of the way,” she snarled her man-eating smile firmly in place. She released the scared and nodding detective to dash after them and slide on the elevator as the doors closed.

Her fingers immediately went to Penny’s pulse, and she asked, “How big was the blood pool?”

“Too big,” Steve growled, looking at her intently.

“Pulse is a little thready but regular.” She passed her fingers through Penny’s hair. “Seems like the head wound has almost stopped bleeding.” Checking the wound on her arm, Nat nodded. “This one too. She’s alright, Steve. Pretty sure she’s just passed out.”

“She’ll make the compound?” he asked.

Natasha nodded. “Though if you want to get there without questions, you’ll rush your sister out of here like her life depends on it.” Her hand went to the phone in her pocket, and she pressed the call button as she tugged it free. “Clint, be ready to move.”

“How is she?”

The doors opened, and Nat barked, “Move!”

Clint hissed a snarled _shit_ and hung up.

The three of them rushed from the elevator, Sam and Nat clearing a path. Once the milling police and firefighters caught a glimpse of him, his limp and bloody sister over his arms, they joined the rush, waving people and reporters out of the way as Steve ran with her toward the big black SUV.

Sam was holding the door open for him to jump in, and he pushed hard to slide all the way over when he landed on the seat. Nat slammed the front door as Sam slid in beside him and Clint gunned the engine.

“Cap?” Clint glanced back, peeling away from the curb while the lights and sirens of police cars started behind them.  

“Get us airborne and head for the base. She’ll be safe there for the time being.” Cradling Penny’s skull, he drew her head to his shoulder and breathed his first full breath since her phone call.

For the moment, his baby sister was safe.

He was going to make damn sure she stayed that way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Swearing

## Chapter Two

* * *

The quiet beeping of the heart monitor brought Penny back to reality. It was a sound she knew intimately and hated with a vengeance. The scent of the hospital came a second later, and the beeping intensified as she struggled to wake up.

“Hey. Hey, baby girl,” Steve’s voice, strong and comforting, his hand the same where it squeezed hers only slowed her anxiety a little.

Penny gasped for air and snapped her eyes open. “Steve?”

His face came into view, and his free hand went to her cheek. “Pen, this isn’t a hospital. It’s the base. You’re in the med wing at the base, darlin’.” He knew, of course, he knew, just how much she despised hospitals and everything they entailed.

“Steve!” Crying freely, she lurched up and threw her arms around his neck. “I was so scared!”

“Easy now, little girl. I’ve got you. Ain’t no one who can get to you here.” He settled on the bed at her side and held her tight, his hand stroking her back like when she’d been a kid.

She pressed her face to his throat and sobbed, letting go of the mass adrenaline and shock, shaking and clinging to the brother who’d always protected her. When the tears finally slowed, she snuffled, sighed, and rested her head on his shoulder. “I knew you’d come.”

He stiffened, and his embrace tightened. “And what if I hadn’t been here?”

“But you were.”

“But I might not have been! You could have been killed, almost were, and nearly didn’t make it to your safe room before they caught you. Fuck, little girl! Do you know what it felt like, being too far away and hearing you scream? Goddamnit, Pen!” He set her away and stood to pace the room.

She slid back down onto the pillows, pain now thrumming through her body while she watched him worriedly. She’d seen him angry before, downright livid a few times, but never at her.

His strides were so long they took him the length of the room in three paces where he turned, razor sharp, on his heel and repeated the action in the opposite direction. “What do you know? What do you remember? What were they after?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered, wringing her hands together. “The main guy, he sounded French, called me, ma chère and ma pepette. The other, his voice was deeper, gruffer, his accent was thicker, French but something more. It sounded… familiar but I don’t know why.” She shook her head, unable to explain and unable to think with the headache currently throbbing away. “The night guard, he was all Brooklyn. It was like being in the old neighbourhood. It made me smile when I left for the night.”

“He’s dead,” Steve muttered.

“What?” she gasped.

“The night guard, the one you could identify should you need to. They put two rounds in his head and left him in the lobby.”

“Fuck,” Penny hissed.

“Language,” he grumbled.

She snorted out a laugh. “I’m not fifteen anymore, bro. You don’t get to scold me for my potty mouth.”

He rolled his eyes. “And what would mom say about your potty mouth?”

“That I swear like a sailor, and I need to explain what some of them meant,” she quipped, knowing full well their Irish mother would have no issue with her foul mouth.

“Humph,” he huffed, still pacing. “What were they after, Pen? What are you working on?”

“Steve,” she sighed and looked away. “You know I can’t tell you that.”

“Was it something that would get you killed? Can you at least tell me that, Penelope!” he barked.

She relented as far as she could. “At current, there is nothing which should have been of any value espionage wise to have some sending a hit squad after me.”

“You watch too many gangster movies,” he scoffed. “Hit squad.”

“He said he’d make it painless, Steve. One to the temple if memory serves. A quick death. What else should I call them?”

“Penny!” his voice was harsh as he spun away.

“They were going to kill me, Steve.”

“I know, damn it!” He scrubbed his hands down his face. “I wanna know why!”

“I don’t know why!” Pressing a hand to her eyes, Penny tried to calm the pounding happening in her temples. “I don’t know, Stevie.”

“Okay, okay, baby girl,” he soothed, returning to sit on the side of her bed. “The cops want to talk to you, but I’ve held them off. Gave them a bullshit story about this being about me that they’re buying for the moment.”

She glanced at Steve from between her fingers, a smirk playing with her lips. “Captain America lied to the police? I’m horrified!”

“Laugh it up, slick,” he grumbled.

When Penny had been twelve and Steve had been eighteen, their parents had died days apart after being in a terrible car crash. Penny had been with them and spent months in the hospital recovering with Steve ever present at her side.

He’d enlisted in the Army shortly before the tragedy, not the biggest kid in the ranks, but with the new threat hanging over the world, these HYDRA people coming out of nowhere, bombing cities across the globe in their acts of terror, her self-righteous brother hadn’t been able to sit back and watch the happenings without doing something. He’d enlisted, been selected for a special project, and once Penny was on the mend, had disappeared for a week only to return a giant of his former self.

He’d been genetically modified overnight, and she’d taken to calling him supersized after McDonald’s because it annoyed him. She teased because she cared, and she teased because when he went off to war, to fight against HYDRA, she’d been scared out of her mind. But the army had paid the cost of her medical bills, her parents too and their funeral arrangements as Steve was now _the shit_ when it came to fighting this new age Nazi bullcrap.

Unfortunately, he’d been the only one to go through the procedure. HYDRA had shown up after Steve’s transformation and killed Dr. Erskine, the scientist behind the process.

Who would have thought in the twenty-first-century they would be dealing with this racist crap still, but it happened. Far too often for Penny’s liking, and though she was terrified something would happen to her brother, she was incredibly proud of him as well.

He was Captain America, America’s Greatest Hero, and he and his band of Avengers did what they could to protect and save the world.

When he’d gone off to war fifteen years ago, she’d moved in with the Barnes’.

George and Winifred had been best friends with her parents, Sarah and Joseph, and she’d spent years growing up alongside Rebecca while her brother, James, had joined Steve in his quest to save the world.

The Barnes’ had done a wonderful job making her feel like part of their family and giving her all the same opportunities as Rebecca. When the extent of her genius brain became known, however, they’d gone above and beyond to see she reached her full potential, helping her apply for scholarships, seeking tutors and mentors who could point her in the right direction.

Now, thanks to the caring nature of two amazing people, Penny was CEO of her own company, working on government projects to build better and more powerful weapons, satellites, spacecraft, biochemical components and advances in the health industry, along with the secret project no one but she knew of in her private lab, inaccessible by all but her three stories beneath her office building.  

She disliked lying to Steve, but her project was personal. No one knew what she was doing down there, and hopefully, they never would.

“I’m putting a full detail on you.”

Those seven words snapped her back to the present. “No you sure as shit ain’t!”

“Until we can figure this out, I sure as shit am!”

“Steven! I can’t have a bunch of bumbling agents mucking up my life! I have work, and galas, and stuff!”

“Well, you’re going to have to cancel _stuff_ and cut back at work until we can figure out who wants you dead.” His face looked like thunder, all glowering scowl and drawn eyebrows.

“That look has never intimidated me, and you know it!” she scoffed. “I don’t want a detail! Look.” She waved her hand when he started to argue. “I’ll pack the gun. I’ll carry the panic button. Hell, I’ll even higher a car service of your choice, but I’m not going to be followed around by big, burly men who will get in my way, hold me up, and cause more trouble getting them all cleared to be in my building!”

“Then how about just one.”

She eyed him warily. “This is a trick, I know it. What are you planning?”

His face remained impassive, but she knew him far too well. There was a light in his eyes, gleeful and triumphant. “One man. My choice. The best I have. He acts as your bodyguard. You do what he says, when he says, without comment. And, he moves in with you till this gets resolved.”

Her brow arched skeptically. “One guy?”

“The best guy,” Steve nodded.

“That would have to be you, wouldn’t it, _Steebe_?” she smirked, teasing him with his old nickname.

“He’s the best I’ve ever worked with, Pen. You agree to this, and I get called out, I know you’ll be safe with him.”

“Security clearance?” she asked.

“Tops, same as mine.”

He was nearly gleeful, eyes full of excitement like a puppy, and she sighed as she gave in. “Fine. You trust him so much; I’ll do it. I like my life. I’d kind of like to keep it for a while longer.”

Steve bent and kissed her forehead before getting to his feet. “Long time, baby girl. A very long time. I’ll make the call.”

As he walked toward the door, Penny called out, “Who is this _mystery man_?”

He paused in the doorway to smirk over his shoulder. “Not such a mystery. It’s Bucky.”

The door shut, and she gaped at it in horror. “Oh, _hell_ no! You get back here, Steven Rogers! I know you can hear me you supersized happy meal! Don’t you ignore me!”

***

Bucky walked through the doors of the base with a sigh. He really didn’t think he’d be back here ever again, but when Steve had called, he’d come, like always, unable to resist the pleading in the idiot super soldier’s voice.

He ignored the twinges along his spine and flexed his left hand. Stark had said they would last a few months while he got used to the cybernetic arm, and the man was right. They were slowly fading, only grabbing him when he’d let the arm sit stationary too long. As long as he did things with his new hand and arm like he used to, it didn’t bother him, but the long ride in the car had left him time to brood, leaving his arm unused and now he was paying for it.

“Bucky!”

The jubilant sound of Steve’s voice made him flinch before he tucked his feelings away and grinned at the man who was his best friend. “Punk,” he grumbled, taking the hug and slapping Steve’s back in return. “What the fuck you want, draggin’ me out here without so much as a whiff of what’s up?”

“Other than hoping you’ll come back?” Steve quipped, grin almost pleading.

“Steve,” Bucky sighed.

“Buck, what happened, it ain’t your fault. That wasn’t you,” the big blond muttered, squeezing his shoulder.

A mission gone awry in Russia had seen Bucky in the hands of the enemy. There, they’d experimented on him in much the same fashion as Steve, pumping him full of a bastardized form of super-powered serum. They’d subjected him to mind control, made him into something else, something cold and deadly, and turned him loose on his best friend.

The fight with Steve had been long and bloody, resulting in Bucky winding up sans one arm when the helicarrier they were fighting in had crashed. The crash had been enough to clear the fog from his brain, and Wanda, an enhanced who’d been freed from HYDRA’s control as well, had seen to it the brainwashing could never be retriggered, but… people had died. Good people. People Bucky had worked with, some he’d trained, and all at his hands.

That more than anything else kept him from returning even after Stark spent millions designing and fitting his vibranium arm. It was a hope he would return, fight with Steve again, work for the greater good, but… he couldn’t get past the innocent lives he’d taken.

“It may not have been me, Steve, but it was still my hands. I was still there, watching as I took each and every life. I watched them stare at me in horror as they realized I was going to-” He clamped his lips shut. “If this is what you called me for…”

“It ain’t, promise.” Steve held up his hands. “I need your help on a personal matter. It’s Penny.”

Steve started to walk, and Bucky followed. “You’re annoying little kid sister? What she do now?”

“She’s not so little anymore, and she didn’t do nothing.” Steve rolled his eyes. “Clearly you still don’t listen when I talk about her.”

“Why would I? She was always such a pain in the ass. Following you around when we’d go home. Getting in the way all the time.”

“You’re just pissed she got your room.” Steve shoved him in the shoulder. “Pen wasn’t that bad.”

Bucky snorted. “All I remember is she moved in after we shipped out, and she constantly bragged about whatever the fuck she was up to at school.”

“She wasn’t bragging, jerk, I was! She was so fucking smart I couldn’t help but be proud of her,” he snarled.

“Yeah, well,” Bucky shrugged. He remembered Penelope differently.

Scrubbing his hand over the back of his neck, Steve muttered, “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

The worry on his face had Bucky reaching for his shoulder. “Steve? What is it?”

When Steve came to a stop, Bucky watched his oldest and best friend age before his eyes. “Someone tried to kill her a few days ago.”

His blood ran cold. “What?”

Steve continued down the hall, heading for the med-wing. “They blew up her car and switched out the night guard of her building. He managed to clip her with a bullet, and they nearly caught her before she made the panic room in her office.”

“Jesus!” Bucky hissed. “She’s okay?”

“She’ll be fine. Bumps and bruise and the bullet grazed her upper arm, but they tried to kill my baby sister, Bucky. Someone tried to take…” his breath hitched, and Steve turned away to slam his fist into the wall and leave an impressive hole.

“Get a grip, Cap,” Bucky muttered, dragging Steve around.

“I can’t!” he barked. “She’s all I have left, and someone tried to take her from me. I wasn’t there, Bucky. I was too late! I found her in a pool of her own blood!”

Gripping Steve’s shoulders, Bucky held on tight. “Okay, Stevie. She’s safe; you got her out. She’s here, just down the hall, right?”

Steve closed his eyes and took a harsh breath. “Yeah. But what about next time?”

“Next time?”

“We don’t know who did it or why. She’s at a complete loss.”

“Fuck,” Bucky hissed. “What do you need from me? I can make some calls. Do some digging?”

Steve looked at him, blue eyes big and pleading.

“Oh, no. Do not look at me like that!” He pulled his hands away like he’d been burned. “That look always gets me in shit!”

“She’s needs watching.”

“You want me to babysit!?” he roared.

Steve flinched. “What she needs is a bodyguard until we get this figured out.”

“Hell no!”

“What the hell is up with you two?” Steve sighed. “She said the same thing.”

“Oh, she did, did she?” Bucky sneered, stalking down the hallway.

“Bucky, don’t do something stupid,” Steve called from behind him.

Bucky only growled, unaware of the smirk on Steve’s face for he found the door with P. Rogers on it and slammed through into her room. “Look it, sweetheart,” he snarled coming around the curtain only to stop dead in his tracks when he came face to face with the woman in the bed.

She was sitting up, her blonde hair falling around her like a halo of sunshine. Her delicate features bore the marks of her recent close call. Cuts and bruises in sickening blacks and purples swirled along her cheek and up around her eye.

Rather than the standard issue hospital gown, she had on a spaghetti strap tank top in pale lavender which clung to her breasts, ones he noted would be a pleasing handful should a man be so inclined. Her pants were soft and fuzzy in purple plaid, allowing her feet with painted pink toes to stick out the bottom, making her utterly adorable. She looked both innocent and sexy as fuck, but it was her big, ocean blue eyes which wanted to drown him that made him swallow his angry words.

She blinked, her lips parting, shock rippling across her face. The tablet held in her hands slipped down to her lap. “James?” she whispered.

Bucky moved cautiously closer to take a seat on the edge of her bed and cleared his throat. “How you doing, doll?” he asked quietly. Damn, if she hadn’t grown up a looker. Maybe he should have paid closer attention to the pictures Rebecca insisted on showing him.

“I’ve been better,” she murmured. “What the hell… happened?” She darted a glance past him to Steve standing at the foot of her bed.

“There was… an incident in Russia.” Steve shrugged.

“I fucked up. This was the consequence,” Bucky stated, unwilling to elaborate, his tone relating as much.

Her eyes narrowed at the harshness. “Same old Buchanan, hm?”

“Still getting into trouble, Penelope?” he sniped back. She paled substantially beneath her bruises, and he felt like an ass. “Look, doll…”

“Steve, can you give us a minute and not eavesdrop?” she said to her brother, giving him a look that evidently worked quite well as it sent Steve scurrying out of the room, the door shutting softly behind him. Her bright eyes swept to his and held for a moment before falling away. “He really wants this, James.”

“And what about you, Penny?” he asked, their history, short as it was, hanging between them.

She folded the cover over the tablet and set it aside before gripping her elbows. “I’m scared,” she whispered, causing his heart to clench. “I watched my car blow up. Watched my own security try and shoot me. Was attacked in my office… and I don’t know why.”

He held out his hand and gripped hers tightly when she gave it over. “Can you do this, though? Listen to me without question? Do what you’re told when you’re told and not give me grief?”

“Can you?” she quipped.

He snorted. “Why would I have to?”

She blinked at him, and a sly smile curled her lips. “You don’t have any idea who I am now, do you?”

He shook his head, and she laughed.

“Wow, when Becca said you didn’t care, you really didn’t care.” She shook her head. “I’m the CEO of Marquis Robotics and Bioengineering.”

“The fuck you are!” he gasped.

If there had been one thing he’d picked up from the amount of time he’d spent with Tony Stark, it was that the man had a serious hard-on for Marquis tech and respect for the woman who was the founder of the company.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered.

“Welcome back, Barnes. That arm?” She tapped his left hand. “Tony couldn’t have built that without my tech. I didn’t know it was for you though.”

“Yeah,” he gruffed, pulling it away. “No one did.” Closing his fist, he glanced at her again. “Why you think I gotta follow your orders?”

“I work for the government, Buck. Some of my projects are need-to-know. Plus, there are galas and fundraisers I’m part of. I have obligations where a bodyguard will look out of place. You willing to put on a monkey suit and be my plus one?” She cocked her head, completely serious.

He rolled his eyes. “Ain’t that gonna piss off your boyfriend?”

Again she paled drastically and looked away. “I don’t have one.”

Before he could stop his mouth, he muttered, “Still too picky for your own good, huh?”

Hurt flashed across her face; then it closed down into a dark scowl. “I may need you, Barnes, but that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to pry into my personal life. You’re my bodyguard, nothing more!”

He stood swiftly, face hardening as well. “Sure thing, Duchess.”

“Fuck you, Buchanan!”

“I can see this is going to go well,” Steve muttered from the open doorway.

“We’ll be fine, Steven,” Penny snarled, “As long as dumbass doesn’t get in my way.”

“I’m supposed to get in your way, sweetheart. That’s how I keep your ass safe.”

She rolled her eyes and plucked her tablet from the bed. “Go away till I need you.”

He gave a mocking bow. “As you wish, your highness.” He turned on his heel and glared at Steve as he stomped out the door.

“You and I need to talk about this?” Steve asked, following after Bucky.

“Nope.” He shook his head, striding toward the windows where he stood, glaring out them. “Fuck!” Bucky huffed. “You could’a gone and warned a guy! Some pal you are.”

“Oi, jerk! I tried. Every time I brought her up, you stomped off,” Steve scoffed. “What the hell happened between you two?”

“Nothing.” Bucky shrugged. “Ain’t important. Won’t affect me doing the job.”

“So… you’ll do it?” Steve looked at him hopefully.

“Yeah, ya punk. I’ll look after the Duchess.”

“You know she hates that name,” Steve snickered.

Bucky smirked. “I know. If I gotta be stuck with her, might as well have a little fun.”

Steve bumped his elbow. “Thanks, pal. There isn’t anyone I’d trust with her more than you.”

Bucky had a flicker of concern hit his heart, unsure if that might not be a bad thing. He hadn’t had the best of luck lately, but it was Steve asking. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for the man who was his brother, who’d worked so damn hard to save him from HYDRA. “I’ll keep her safe, punk. I promise.”

It was a promise he intended to keep.

“We got time,” Steve said with a smirk. “Want to show me how much better you are with that arm?”

Bucky shook his head and laughed. “Bring it on, Cap.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Swearing

## Chapter Three

* * *

Penny tugged the soft cardigan around her shoulders and wandered down the halls of the base toward the training facility. She’d snuck up to the second floor where the cafeteria was, picking up a cup of coffee and a sticky pastry before making her way on silent, slippered feet to the place she was most likely to find Steve.

People smiled when she passed; all knew her by sight and name even if she didn’t know all of them. Steve was a bragger, always proud, her picture sitting in pride of place upon his desk. Add in the fact they all knew just why she was here, and Penny couldn’t go anywhere without being ma’amed.

She had been to the base many times. Much of her weapons and tech mixed with Tony’s to keep her brother and his team safe.

When Steve had become Cap, Penny had thrown herself into her studies, determined to be of use to him in the future in whatever capacity she could. When she’d gotten into computers and biology, she’d learned in such leaps and bounds it had shocked her teachers and given her a direction. A purpose. A place to strive toward.

Now, she collaborated with Stark often, creating new tech for Steve, but her heart truly was in health and wellness technology. Having spent months recovering after her parent's car accident, she knew just how lonely, stressful, boring, and anxiety-inducing it was to live in a hospital. Her projects were helping to change that. Everything from scanning tables which reduced the time it took to diagnose a patient, to casting substances which enhanced healing, to artificial lungs, hearts, livers. She had her fingers on a lot of pulses.

Penny’s life was busy, ridiculously so, and left little time for things like men or dating. When she wasn’t at work, she was hosting or attending fundraisers and galas for charities and causes she felt strongly about — adoption, foster care, the rainforest, endangered wildlife, getting clean water and healthcare to third world countries. She was an advocate for many causes and regularly donated her time or money but never frivolously.

No one would take her for granted, steal from her in any way ever again, and she did her due diligence with every new inquiry. So many cries for help were actually people looking to line their own pockets.

Penny had zero qualms about tossing them to the wolves, compiling a file of damning evidence and sending it to the proper authorities. Anonymously of course. It wouldn’t do to let these people know she was responsible for their trouble.

She was quite good at stringing the courting charity along, or in some cases donating to keep them from knowing just who had turned them in. In a way, Penny felt like she was her own secret Avenger, doing things for the betterment of humanity even if she never fired a shot.

Her weapon was her brain, and she used it without mercy.

Shouts and swearing, laughter and good-natured heckling came from the open area ahead of her. She moved cautiously closer to peer over the second story railing into the large training room below.

Steve and Bucky were stripped down in sweats and wife beater tanks, both sweaty and glistening, chests heaving as they circled each other. Steve’s blond hair was spiked up making her wonder if he’d been shoving his hand through it while Bucky’s longer locks curled around his face and at the nape of his neck. The shining silver arm flexed, the plates shifted, and she smiled, admiring Stark’s handiwork.

The arm was both beautiful in its execution and deadly in its power. When Bucky threw it at Steve, her breath caught at the same time Steve caught the punch. Her brother strained beneath the blow in a fight requiring far more effort than she’d ever seen before.

“Impressive, aren’t they?”

Penny jerked, sending coffee sloshing against the lip of her cup. “Christ, Nat!” she hissed, glaring at the spy. “Scuff a toe or somethin’.”

The redhead snickered softly and leaned on the railing, watching Steve and Bucky go at it. “Heard he was back. Had to come see for myself.”

“What do you mean back?” Penny asked.

Nat frowned, casting her a glance. “After the… incident, Barnes retired. Cap’s been trying to convince him to come back, but he’s a stubborn _duraki_.”

Penny rapidly shifted languages and smiled. “He’s always been an idiot. Becca assures me of that fact.”

Turning to lean her back against the railing, Natasha eyed her suspiciously. “What’s with you two? You and Barnes. He used to shut down, fuck off anytime Steve talked about you?”

The question caused her teeth to clench together, and Penny lifted her chin. “Nothing. It’s ancient history.”

“Really? It seems like it’s bright red, glaring, sirens screaming history. Is he the reason you don’t date?”

Penny turned her gaze from the pair grappling below to Natasha slowly. She let her eyes narrow, giving the spy the same look she gave her staff when they pissed her off or stepped too far into what was her space. “Mind your own business, Natasha.”

Concern replaced the amusement which had been sparkling in Natasha’s eyes. “Penny?” she asked, straightening up and touching her arm.

Penny shook her head as she stepped away, refusing to speak on it. “He’s not the reason, but he did make the choice that much easier.”

Full blown worry replaced the concern on Nat’s face. “You know I’m here if you need someone to talk to, right?” Natasha offered, refusing to let it go.

“It was a very long time ago, Nat. We’re both different people now. I need him. Steve needs this to happen so it will happen, but don’t ask me questions about things I won’t answer.” With a sharp nod, Penny walked away, slamming the door shut on the memories she’d locked deep in her psyche years ago.

***

Bucky was wiping his face with a towel when the weight landed on his back and sent him stumbling forward.

“Buck- _eee_!”

The deep growl of the voice made him chuckle. “Sam.”

“Dude, when Steve said you were coming back I couldn’t believe it.” The grinning man hugged him tight and slapped his back with a few hearty pounds before pulling away. “Cap’s been a moping mess since you left.”

“Shut up, Wilson!” Steve barked.

“Make me!” Sam grinned.

“Nice to know you care, bird brain,” Bucky quipped, smirking at Sam.

Poking at the metal arm, Sam sneered, “Bite me, tin man!”

Bucky continued to smile as he shook his head. “It ain’t made of tin, and I’m not back. I’m here for Penny.”

Sam immediately sobered and sent a sharp glance toward Steve. “You’re gonna take care of our girl?”

“Our girl?” Bucky asked, cocking a brow.

Sam glanced at Steve again. “She’s his, so she’s ours. Like a communal sister.”

He snorted out a laugh. “Sounds like a nun.”

Sam shook his head with a sly grin and winked at Bucky. “She’s no nun. Not with that mouth.” Leaning closer he whispered, “Or those legs.”

“Wilson! I will make you work with Lang for a solid year! Do not ogle my sister!” Steve barked.

“Ah, shit,” Sam grumbled, rolling his eyes. “That damn hearing of his.”

“After all these years you still forget he hears everything? I think you do it to get his goat,” Bucky said, his grin smug.

“Barnes.”

Looking to the left, he nodded to Natasha. “Nat.”

“We gotta talk. Catch a shower, then come find me.” She turned on her heel and stalked away.

Steve and Sam exchanged a look before both turned on him with pity.

“Oh, you’re in so much trouble,” Sam said.

“What the hell did you do?” Steve asked.

The only person on the entire team who could strike fear into the heart of every one of them was the petite redhead who held the leash of Bruce Banner, aka The Hulk. She was a spy, ex-double agent who’d worked undercover in Russia for years before Clint had convinced her to come on board with the Avengers. Her contacts and skills had been imperative in figuring out just where in the world HYDRA had hidden him.

They had history. It was past history before Bruce, but Bucky had enjoyed it, what they’d had. She was a spitfire, matching the temperature of her hair, and while he had no desire to take back up with her, he did remember their marathons in the sack with fondness. That didn’t mean she wasn’t scary as fuck when she looked at him with her Widow’s smile.

“The hell if I know,” he grumbled, heading for the showers.

“When you’re done, come catch a beer with us!” Sam called out.

“Yeah, maybe,” Bucky hedged. “Long as Nat doesn’t chew out my balls.” They both winced, Steve and Sam, and he pushed through the door into the change room and showers.

The hot water soothed the ache in his spine and along his ribs where Steve had gotten in a lucky punch. It had been a while since he’d worked out that hard, but he knew he’d passed whatever test Steve had been putting him through. Little punk may not have consciously known what he was doing, but Bucky hadn’t held back.

While Penny had barely registered on his radar for years, she was everything to Steve. This little show and tell was nothing if not an audition, one he’d passed with flying colours. He may have been off the team and off the grid for the last year or so, but that didn’t mean he’d let himself go. He worked just as hard, if not harder now thanks to the serum running through his veins and the screams which kept him awake, running through his head at night.

Four months of therapy, three more of rehab, another six weeks of getting poked and prodded and fitted for his arm, and three and a half months of learning to use the damn thing had left him lots of time to workout and think. He couldn’t get past the things he’d done, but maybe, just maybe, he could use what was done to him to do some good for Steve. If he could keep Penny safe, figure out who the fuck was after her, maybe it would make up for some of the evil he’d committed.

Sighing softly, Bucky pressed his metal hand to the wall and leaned against it. It hadn’t always been this way. Sure when she’d been young, she’d been Steve’s nerdy kid sister, but by seventeen when they’d come home for a visit, he could see the beauty blossoming. But at twenty-four lusting after his best friend’s teenage sister was just not cool, no matter how adorable, sweet, sassy, and sexy he’d suddenly found her.

They’d had days of laughing, what he’d like to have believed was casual flirting, then everything had changed. The night he’d caught her crying in the old treehouse, her face pale and hair a mess had been the end of what small friendship they’d been building. She’d smelled of beer and cheap cologne, and had come home from a party with some bullshit story about a boy who’d been cruel and called her names.

Jealousy had reared its ugly head. Instead of offering comfort, he’d snapped something equally cruel, telling her maybe she was just too damn picky. Not everyone could be Steve. No man could live up to those expectations. Then, stupid as he was, he’d grabbed her by the chin and kissed her like he’d wanted to and instantly regretted it.

Her body had gone stiff; her face had grown even paler. She’d shoved at him, fighting to get away and jerked back, curling into herself in the corner when he’d let go. Her terror-filled eyes, big and blue, had made him feel like a complete dick, exactly what he was.

The apology had been on the tip of his tongue when she’d turned into the prim and proper duchess. She had a mouth as foul as a sailor’s, but god, she could freeze air when she looked down her nose at him like that.

She’d verbally kicked his ass, laying into him with the skill of a Catholic Headmistress, compounding his guilt until he couldn’t take it anymore and had snarled back, saying things which would have had his mother skinning him alive if she’d ever found out.

He’d stormed out, leaving her to her whining and bellyaching, and gone out drinking with Steve. He'd then gone home with the first woman who’d offered. The next day when he’d slunk home, ready to apologize for being a complete dickhead, hoping she hadn’t told his mother just what a jerk he was, Penny had looked straight through him like he no longer existed.

She’d been looking through him ever since.

Well, except for earlier. The look on her face when he’d come around the corner of her hospital bed must have mirrored his own. She’d been shocked. Of course, she had. He wasn’t the same James Buchanan Barnes he’d been when last they’d seen each other.

His parents knew, as did Rebecca, but he hadn’t seen them in some time either. His change wasn’t something he wanted bandied about, especially with what had gone down in the process of making him what HYDRA had called their Winter Soldier.

He thrust all his thoughts aside as he finished slicking the sweat from his skin to go face Nat. He had no idea what the Widow wanted, but by the scowl on her face, it wasn’t going to be a pleasant conversation.

As he dressed, his mind drifted back to Penny.

Damn, she was pretty.

She looked sweet and innocent still, even after all these years. The quintessential girl next door. Beneath the hospital scents, the antiseptics and disinfectants, he’d caught the barest hint of peaches and vanilla. It took him back to the days before their falling out.

Steve had managed to get time away to go home for Penny’s birthday, and, knowing better than to show up without a gift in hand, he’d swung into some smelly bath place, picked out something which hadn’t made his eyes water, and plunked it down with the other gifts once they’d arrived. While he’d headed for the kitchen, Steve had gone in search of his sister; only Bucky had found her first.

She’d been standing in a sunbeam with her hair on her shoulders, and her eyes had lit up when she’d seen him.

He remembered her breathing his name. How his hair had stood on end at the sound. His heart had clenched at the sight of her, and she’d launched herself across at him with a squeal.

Her skin had been soft, her hair like silk. She’d smelled of apples, and she’d hugged him so hard. She’d chattered, his ears unable to register all she was saying for he was lost to the blueness of her eyes, the quickness of her smile, and the softness of her body.

Steve had appeared, and she’d deserted him to leap at her brother, but the damage had already been done.

Later, when she’d opened his gift, one he’d felt a little guilty over choosing as he’d put no thought into it at all, she’d lifted the scented shampoo to her nose and sighed reverently before gushing over how lovely it smelled. Her smile had assuaged his guilt. The hug she’d snuck him later hadn’t hurt either.

Peaches and vanilla.

Sitting in her hospital bed, she smelled like it still. It made him wonder just what it meant that she used the same scent all these years later.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: language

## Chapter Four

Penny stood before the floor to ceiling windows of her penthouse apartment, staring out at the view of the city while Steve finished up with the agents who had been checking and securing her home. Arms crossed, she cupped her elbows, ignoring the chaos going on around her.

Her dove grey dress was fitted, sleeveless, with a high ‘v’ neckline. One of her preferred power outfits with its block or red colour down her spine, highlighting the zipper. Peeptoe pumps showed off her pink toes, the red soles making the designer glaringly apparent to those who would know and, or care.

While it wasn’t technically necessary to be so dressed up, it helped Penny feel more in control than she had in days. The constant unknowing, the stress, and the fear were weighing on her. Having all these people up in her space wasn’t helping either.

The soft steps of Steve’s shoes had her forcing her body to relax. When his arms went around her waist, and his chin came down on the top of her head, she couldn’t help the shuddery breath which slipped out without her permission.

“House is clean, and Bucky’s on his way up.”

That stiffened all her muscles again.

“Penny? What happened with you two?” he asked quietly.

“It’s not important. Kid stuff.”

“Kid stuff shouldn’t string you tight as a drum, darlin’.”

“Let it go, Steven. It doesn’t matter. Not anymore.”

The ding of the elevator’s arrival proved her saving grace when it caused Steve to click his teeth together. “We’re not done talking about this, Penelope Grace.”

“Yes, Steven Grant, we are.” She pulled away from him and turned to face the scruffy visage of one James Buchanan Barnes striding through the door.

The duffle on his shoulder landed on the floor with a thud, the second one in his hand a moment later. While his gaze swept around the room, she took hers over the wrinkled shirt beneath the tattered green army surplus jacket and thread-worn jeans.

It was horrifyingly disgraceful. “Dear God! Please tell me you did not stuff your suit clothes in one of those duffles?”

“Easy, Duchess,” Bucky smirked, his gaze snapping over to travel the length of her. “I’ve got a suit I can shake out and press.”

“Oh, Jesus.” She slapped a hand over her face and shook her head. “Go away, Steve. Barnes and I need to go shopping.”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “Oi! What the hell? No, we don’t!”

“And it’s going to take all damn day.” She gave an exasperated sigh and turned to pick up her phone.

“I am not going shopping with you!”

“James Barnes,” Penny snapped, glaring at him over her shoulder as she lifted her phone to her ear and listened to it ring. “If we’re going to make this look like what I need it to look like, then you are going to let me suit you out, clean you up, and you are going to shut your yap and deal with it!”

He blinked, evidently taken aback before he narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you go pullin’ that duchess crap on me, baby girl!”

“Kiss my ass, Buchanan! You’re doing this! Bodyguard or not, you are not walking into my office looking like a homeless person!” Penny pressed the phone back to her ear. “Hi, Sandy. I know it’s short notice, but I need an entire wardrobe, men’s…” she eyed Bucky, “something large. He’s ex-military if that gives you any indication, roughly the size of Steve. If you can put an assortment together, we’ll be there in an hour.”

Steve patted Bucky’s shoulder. “Good luck, man. Think you’re going to need it.”

“I fucking hate you, Steve.”

“Nah, you don’t.” Steve gave Bucky a cheeky wink. “Look after her… please?”

Bucky gripped Steve’s arm and gave him a grim nod. “I won’t let you down, Steve.”

“You never have, Bucky.”

Bucky looked away, but Steve only stepped back into his line of sight. “Till the end of the line, Buck. You and me, man.”

Penny watched the exchange from the corner of her eye as she finished up her second call. The guilt on Bucky’s face, the concern on Steve’s. What had happened in Russia?

“If you’re done with the bromance, we need to go.” Penny’s heels clicked on the marble floors as she made her way to the closet and pulled out a knee-length cream cashmere coat.

“Thought we had an hour?” Bucky grumbled, pulling the Glock from the small of his back, checking it, and tucking it away.

Penny fluffed her hair out of the top of her coat but kept her opinion of the gun to herself when Steve cocked an eyebrow her direction. “Yes, until your fitting. We need to… cleaned you up first.”

Clapping his hand down on Bucky’s shoulder, Steve gave the man a smirk. “Just go with it. It will be less painful if you give into her than to listen to her bitch for the next two or three days.”

“Get out, Steven,” Penny snarled, collecting her purse.

Steve snickered softly and pulled a set of keys from his pocket. “SHIELD vehicle. SUV. Bulletproof and able to withstand a bomb blast. It’s equipped with Stark’s newest tech including his AI and will inform you through your phone if someone tries to tamper with the vehicle.”

“Good. I got it from here, punk.”

“Jerk, you’d better.” Steve punched Bucky gently in the shoulder before turning to Penny. “Baby girl…”

“Stevie, I’ll be fine.” She kept a stiff upper lip and smiled, hoping it would reassure him as she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. She tucked her face into his throat when he bent down and hugged her tight.

“Of course you will. You’ve got my best guy looking out for you.”

“If you say so.” She sent Bucky a glance.

Bucky scowled but said nothing as Steve pulled away, cupped and kissed Penny’s cheek, and headed for the elevator.

Once inside, Steve turned and gave the two of them one last look. “Please… don’t kill each other.”

“Go away, Steve!” they barked in unison as the doors shut on the smirking blond’s face.

Silence descended, and Penny played with the collar of her coat. “So… uhm…”

“At a loss for words, Duchess? That ain’t like you.”

Penny shot him a disdainful glare. “You know, this would go a lot smoother if you could be just slightly less… you, Buchanan.”

“Don’t start, Penelope!” He shook his finger at her. “You know I hate that!”

“About as much as I hate duchess! I’m not some fucking cocker spaniel!”

He stormed toward her, strides angry, but Penny only stood her ground with her chin raised, refusing to back down, nor show how he disconcerted her.

Stopping a few inches away, Bucky raised his hand in the air, clenched his fist, shook it in aggravation and let it drop when he sighed, and the anger seemed to drain right out of him. “Look, doll face… I’m sorry. I know this has to be tough on you. Can we at least try to get along?”

Penny nodded as she heaved her own heavy sigh. “Yeah.” Her chin fell, wobbling a little when she looked away. “I’m on edge here, Buck.” She shoved a hand through her hair and was surprised when he caught it and tugged it away to hold in his.

“You’ll make yourself bald you keep doing that.”

“With all this?” she pointed at the mass of hair falling in gentle waves around her shoulders. “A little less might be nice.”

His eyes lingered on her hair before his gaze dropped to hers and held there. Something about the way he looked at her, dark, brooding, full of unasked questions, had her stepping back and tugging her hand from his. “We should go. I’ll show you your space when we get back.”

A twisted expression came over his face. “What’s wrong with my suit?”

“Buck… when was the last time you had cause to wear it?”

“I don’t know? Few years, maybe?”

“And did you pluck it off the rack, or was it made for you by Tony?”

“Rack, why?”

She let her head fall dramatically back on her neck and groaned. “This isn’t going to go well.”

“What? What isn’t?” He looked rather panicked.

“I’m due back in the office tomorrow. Everyone knows there was an attack. They expect me to show up with protection. That’s you, but no one in their right mind would believe you are anything but at hobo in this get-up.” She waved a hand at what he considered an outfit.

“Hey!” he huffed, clearly offended.

“Look, James, I get it. You’ve lived off the grid for what? A year? Fashion likely wasn’t high on your list of things to learn, but I live and work in a world where my image and the image of those closest to me is important. I can’t have you looking like a heathen.” She reached up and tugged his scraggly whiskers. “When was the last time you shaved, mountain man?”

He looked at her, long and hard, before grunting out a clipped, “Fine.”

She smiled brightly and turned on her heel. “Excellent. They’re expecting us at the salon, like, now, so let’s go.”

“Salon?” he muttered, but she was already striding for the elevator.

Bucky took her arm and pulled her away from the doors before she could push the button. “The first rule of all of this, Pen, is me first. You don’t open doors. You don’t get on elevators. You don’t go anywhere without me. I lead. You follow. Get me?”

“Yeah…” she whispered. The sudden pounding of her heart in her throat came with the reminder of what he was really doing here, and it made her mouth dry.

“Hey,” he said softly, his flesh hand landing gently on her cheek. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Pen. You trust me, right?”

“With my life? I guess I have to,” she said, turning her face away from his touch, refusing to remember their past.

“Penny…”

The elevator’s arrival saved her from saying anymore when Bucky turned swiftly and got on. When she followed, he tucked her behind him and hit the button for the parking garage.

The look of regret on his face after her hesitance had a flicker of guilt souring her stomach. She was being harsh and rude, taking her anxieties out on him when he was only there to help her. On a nearly soundless sigh, she pressed her fingertips into the space between his shoulder blades. “I do, Bucky. I trust you to keep me safe,” Penny said softly, even if she trusted him no further.

A portion of the tension radiating from him vanished. “Just… do what I tell you, Pen, and we’ll both make it through this alright. Do me a solid?”

“What?” she asked warily. When he glanced back at her, she noted the stark grey of his eyes had become bluer with the loss of some of his guardedness.

“Pick a word, something you can use if you’re feeling threatened. Something you wouldn’t use in common speech.”

“Why?”

“Because, if you get in a tight space and want out, you use your safeword and I’ll get you out. No matter what. We don’t know who’s after you, but if we’re ever in a meeting or at some fucking frou-frou event and you get scared, we need something that only you and I know and can be easily slipped into a conversation.”

It made sense, though she doubted she’d ever need to use it. Still, if he wanted a word she was unlikely to ever use willingly in a conversation, she could give him one. “How about duchess?”

He dared to laugh. “Good choice. You ain’t likely to ever use it, and I still can cause it don’t mean the same for me.”

“Kiss off, Barnes.”

“C’mon. I thought we’d called a truce?” He smiled his shit eating grin, the one she remembered from when she was seventeen. It was wholly unfair that it was even sexier now.

“Just for that, you’re getting a manicure,” she growled right before the lobby doors opened.

“Now who’s being mean?” he muttered, collecting her hand in his, his eyes never left the shadows of the garage.

When he tugged on her, she stepped out, and Penny felt her heart start to pound. It was the first time she’d been back in a concrete structure since her car had exploded. “Bucky.” The word sounded hollow to her ears and far away.

He paused to look at her and frowned. “Pen? You’re looking a little grey there, doll. You okay?”

“Last time I was in one of these, someone blew up my car.” The shakes started as soon as her words ended.

Bucky’s face and eyes soon filled her vision. He backed her into the wall beside the elevator and cupped her chin. “Penny, baby, I need you to breathe for me. You’re going to have a panic attack if you don’t. Focus on me, on my voice. Take deep breaths.”

He exaggerated his breathing, and she followed without thought, sucking in air and clutching at his ugly green jacket.

His smile was back, but it was soft and full of care. Shocking in how calm it made her feel. “There you go. Focus on me. I went through every inch of this place before I came upstairs. I walked all the stairwells, all the corridors, all the fire escapes. I know the roof and the basement, the lobby and garage. I went through all the security measures SHIELD put in place, and went over them ahead of time with Steve. We got you covered, Pen.”

“I’ve never… been so scared… Bucky…” she admitted, tucking into his chest when his arms came around her.

“I know. I know, darlin’, but I ain’t about to let anything happen to you again. You get me?”

She looked up and found such determination on his face, Penny couldn’t help but believe him. “I get you, Bucky.” The sudden realization of where she was and who she was wedged up against had her pulling from his arms. “Thank you for the reassurances. I apologize for my meltdown.”

“You’re entitled to one, Duchess. The rest I’ll attach to Steve’s bill.”

She rolled her eyes and stepped away. “It’s my bill, not Steve’s.”

“Oh, really? Then meltdown all you like.” He grinned wickedly, eyes full of amusement.

“You’re still a dick.”

“And you’re still the duchess, but for now we’re a team. Let’s get this done.” He collected her hand again and led her to the SUV parked closest to the door where he placed her in the back.

Once he hopped in the driver’s seat, she was feeling more composed and quipped, “A bodyguard and a chauffeur. I’m going to start calling you Jeeves.”

“Hardy fucking har har,” Bucky muttered, glaring at the console. “How the hell…?”

“Push to start, Barnes. Foot on the brake, push the button. No key needed except the fob in your pocket.”

He glared at her through the rearview mirror, but she only smiled and shrugged. When the engine turned over, a pleasant male voice came from the speakers.

“Welcome, Sergeant Barnes. Miss Penelope.”

“Jarvis! How nice of you to join us.” Penny smiled.

“It is lovely to see you again, ma’am. Mr. Stark has informed me of your predicament and sent me to assist the Sergeant in watching over you.”

“Excellent! Could you please relay navigation to get us to Marchello’s?”

“Ah, a wonderful establishment. Done, miss. Is there anything else you require?” The mapped route appeared on the windshield.

“Did Stark program his music?”

“He did, ma’am.”

“Hit me with the classics, please, Jarvis. At background levels, if you would.”

“Anything for you, ma’am.”

Humming happily, Penny glanced up to find Bucky gaping at her. “What?”

He only shook his head. “You tech people are weird. Talking to computers and shit.”

“Jarvis is an AI, not a computer. He’s intelligent and quite resourceful. Honestly, he is Tony’s most impressive creation.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“You’re a delight, Jarvis. Please convey my thanks to your boss for your inclusion.”

“I will do so at once.”

Bucky only smirked a little and shook his head, continuing to stare at her in the mirror. “Still fucking weird.”

“Just drive the car, Jeeves.”

***

“Jesus, woman!” Bucky huffed. “Is this really necessary?”

“You look like a ruffian, Barnes,” Penny muttered, not bothering to look up from her magazine.

“But a hot ruffian,” Marchello quipped, giving Bucky a wink and squeezing his shoulder.

Bucky just glared at him in the mirror. “Back off, buddy.”

“Ooh! And so manly and tough!” Marchello laughed, picking up his scissors. “Are you sure about this, Penny darling? He has such, mmm, luscious locks.”

She flipped the page. “Just clean him up, please. Hobo may have worked in the past, but I can’t have him looking like that in my office.”

Bucky snorted. “I don’t look like a hobo.”

“You’re wearing clothing with more holes than a cribbage board,” Penny muttered, “and all your stuff was in two army carryalls. You look homeless, Buchanan.”

“Bite me, Penelope,” Bucky sneered.

“Children,” Marchello gave a long-suffering sigh. “Enough. My pretty Penny, Cynthia is available to see to your needs. Have a manicure on me and leave us men be.” He snapped his fingers and waved at the girl hovering near the door.

“She doesn’t leave the room,” Bucky stated when Penny got up from her seat.

“We’ll be right there, Bucky.” Penny motioned toward the reclining massage chair across the room.

“You stay where I can see you,” he gruffed and scowled at Marchello in the mirror. “Get it done.”

“So commanding.” Marchello fanned his face. “Yes, sir, soldier man.”

Penny bit her cheek so as not to snicker and settled into the comfortable leather seat. She’d met Marchello after university when he’d been nothing more than three chairs in a tiny storefront, working sixty hours a week trying to get his business off the ground. He’d been sweet and funny and so wonderfully comfortable with himself. She’d admired that about him. He knew what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to work hard to get it, and didn’t let the naysayers, nor the harsh critics, get him down.

Now, he had a thriving franchise of salons and spas, a line of hair and beauty products unmatched in today's market, and only worked when he wanted to but was always at his flagship location and willing to see her whenever she needed him on short notice. After all, she’d been the one to finance him when he’d been turned down by the bank for the third time. He’d paid her back and then some, but his thanks were unending.

He had one room which he kept for personal clients, kitted out with everything he could need from hair to esthetics and everything in between, hence the reason Bucky could be getting his scruff removed while she had a manicure. And Lord did she need one.

“Miss Rogers?” Cynthia held out the warm, scented mask for her eyes and Penny took it as she reclined the chair.

“Just a clear polish this time. I’ll change it before the gala.” The woman smiled and nodded, and Penny pressed the little rectangular pillow to her eyes, allowing herself to zone-out as the woman got to work, beginning with a relaxing massage.

Even here Bucky was on guard. She didn’t think Marchello noticed when Bucky pulled the gun from his waistband and settled it beneath the cape, nor did the man ask what her and Buck’s relationship was, but she could tell he was curious. Still, as soon as the gun glinted, Penny had felt her anxiety skyrocket. It was a firm reminder that nowhere was safe anymore.

He was armed for her protection. He was there to keep her safe.

She hated it. Hated the way she’d come apart walking into the parking garage. Hated that she saw the potential for danger everywhere she looked.

It was depressing and made her tense, so she shoved the thoughts aside and let the sound of Marchello’s voice become background noise. While he chattered on, broken once in a while by the deeper voice of Bucky, she allowed her brain focus on her secret project, working her way through each new formula and configuration, always seeking a solution.

***

Forty-five minutes later she woke with a start and jerked upright. The mask had been removed, but the room was dim, and it took a moment to remember where she was.

“Easy, Penny.”

She startled a second time and shot her gaze to the man sitting in the shadowed corner. “Bucky?” All she could make out of the silhouette was the crystalline blue-grey eyes gleaming intensely.

“Yeah, doll.”

“How long?”

“‘Bout forty minutes. You dozed off less than five after you sat down. Figured you ain’t been sleeping well, so I had them leave you be.”

“Oh.” She sighed, swinging her feet to the ground. “We should go.”

“Got time. Your Jarvis has been keeping me updated.” He waggled his phone. “Was gonna give you another five then wake you.”

“So you didn’t murder Marchello?” she asked, giving him a grin as she stood from the chair.

“Was a near miss. Talked my damn ear off,” Bucky chuckled as he got to his feet and stepped out of the shadows.

Penny knew her mouth dropped open, but she couldn’t help it. He’d gone from a scruffy, shaggy hobo, to fluffy haired and trimmed beard, shabby guy. His clothes weren’t doing him any favours, but fuck! He cleaned up good.

“Cat got your tongue, duchess?”

She’d known him when he was still a bit of a baby-faced frat boy. Then, he’d shown up bigger, bulkier, with a body like her brother but a face like a mountain man, all scraggly beard and long hair. But now, _sweet Sunday_ , he had the face of a dangerous man. The kind of face that drew a woman into his bad boy image and loosened the waistband on her panties.

Still, his smartass remark put her back up. “Simply stunned by Marchello’s genius. He turned you from a sow's ear into a silk purse. I didn’t think it was possible.”

He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Let’s go. Might want to wipe the drool off your chin.”

“I did not drool!” she barked, but when he turned to get the door, she quickly wiped her mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Swearing

## Chapter Five

 

* * *

“No.”

“Bucky,” Penny sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I'll be right there,” she said and pointed at the chair across the room.

“No dice, Pen. You gotta be where I can see you.” Bucky's hard-eyed stare held no room for arguing. “You're all gung-ho to kit me out in this finery, you haul your ass back there and stay where I can see you.”

She threw up her hands. “Fine! But this is stupid! The shop is closed, and the only one in here besides us is Sandy.”

“Do I look like I care, Duchess?”

“Do. Not. Start!” she snarled, low and deadly. They'd been doing so well getting along until he'd turned stubborn as a mule once she'd tried to send him off with Sandy for his fitting.

“It's okay, Miss Rogers. There is a small sofa in the back you can wait on,” Sandy said kindly.

Penny smiled. “Thank you for accommodating us on such short notice.”

“It's a pleasure, Miss Rogers. Ms. Bianca was most insistent we be available to you as needed. She's honoured to have you as a patron, and I'm happy to help.” Sandy turned toward the fitting room and motioned to Bucky. “Mr. Barnes, if you’d like to step inside and start with the first shirt, I think I may have… underestimated the, um, girth of your thighs. I'll grab you some different pants.”

A pink flush suffused Sandy’s face when Bucky smiled at her on his way into the fitting room. “No problem, doll. They ain't exactly standard issue.”  He threw her a wink that had Penny rolling her eyes.

Sandy giggled and rushed away.

Penny made sure she was out of earshot before muttering, “Keep it in your pants, Barnes.”

“Jealous, sweetheart?”

She snorted. “Not hardly.”

“Jesus!” he barked a second after the door closed. “How much shit is in here?”

Penny smirked and riffled through a stack of magazines until she found one she was familiar with. “I told you. Full wardrobe.”

“SHIELD ain't going to foot the bill for this, Pen. Christ, none of this stuff has price tags. What the hell does that mean?”

“Don't fret, baby. Mama’s got you covered,” she teased.

He glared at her over the top of the door. “Hardy fucking har har, Penelope. You gonna be my sugar mama?”

She looked up and threw him a simmering pout. “Baby. I just want you to look pretty. Try it on. For me? Please, sugar bear?”

“Oh…” Sandy gasped softly, having heard the last of their exchange. “Try these, Mr. Barnes. Should anything need to be tailored, we can have that done for you within a day and sent to… to…”

“My place, Sandy,” Penny grinned maliciously.

“Yes, ma'am!” she squeaked and rushed out.

“Fucking cock block,” Bucky muttered.

Penny only shrugged and continued to grin. “Not like you're getting a day off with this gig, Buck. Sorry, but you're stuck with your ever reliable right hand and me until this is over.”

“That an offer, darlin’?” he asked as he pushed open the door.

She looked up to bark a scathing retort only to have it die on her tongue. _Whoa_. He cleaned up a lot more than just good. He looked damn delicious, and Penny had to give her head a mental shake before getting to her feet.

She walked toward him and then around him in a circle, nodding as she eyed the crisp button-down shirt and dark slacks. “Very nice. You look much less like a hobo now.”

He chuckled, and his blue-grey eyes twinkled. “Okay, I'll give you that one.”

“Does that mean I can burn that ugly green jacket?”

“Fuck no!” he barked and stomped back inside his room.

Penny surreptitiously ogled his ass and thighs as he went. Yes, they certainly weren't standard issue.

***

Bucky followed Penny off the elevator, packing a garment bag over his shoulder. “Seriously? A velvet jacket was a necessity?” Where the hell would he ever wear it?

“You’d be surprised what I consider a necessity,” Penny grumbled, striding toward the closet where she hung her jacket and placed her purse on a side table. She stepped out of her shoes and groaned when she bent over to pick them up.

He cocked his head to the side and admired her ass.

“Stop staring, Bucky.”

“Can’t be helped, sugar mama.” He grinned when she straightened and glared at him.

“I’m not afraid to hit you, James.”

He dropped the garment bag and put up his fists. “C’mon then. Show me what you got, Pen.”

She crossed her arms beneath her breasts, her shoes dangling from her fingers. “Seriously? What are we? Sevente-” Her jaw closed with an audible click. “I’ll show you where you’re staying.”

She was walking away before Bucky could react. Quickly, he grabbed the garment bag and snapped up both duffles, jogging a little to keep up. “Pen.”

“Nope.” She continued down the marble floor, nearly soundless in her bare feet.

“Are we ever going to talk about what happened?”

She stopped, and the tension elevated like a heat wave. “No.”

“Penny.” He stepped closer, and she shrank away from him.

“James Barnes. What happened, happened. I prefer not to dwell on the past.”

Eyes like ice stared at him over her shoulder. She’d shut down. Completely. There was no give and no way through the wall she’d placed between them.

Natasha hadn’t chewed out his ass like he’d thought she would. She’d spoken at length about Penelope. About the walls the woman had wrapped around herself. About the barrier she’d placed between herself and men. And about what she’d said about him. How he wasn’t the reason she didn’t date, but he’d made the choice all the easier.

It had made him sick to his stomach to know his actions had tainted her at seventeen.

“Penny, at least let me tell you how sorry-”

She spun to face him, and he took an involuntary step in retreat. “I don’t want to talk about it! Not ever!”

“I was an ass!” he bit out, needing to let her know he was sorry for the part he’d played.

“Yes. I am well aware of your asinine tendencies.” She turned away and continued down the hall to a circular staircase she started up two at a time.

Bucky clamped his teeth together. “Why you gotta be as bullhead as Steve?”

“Why you gotta be a dick?” she muttered, arriving on the second floor where she paused and breathed deeply.

He was barely winded and frowned at her. “Maybe you need more cardio in your workout.”

“Bite me!” she snapped, hand pressed against her chest.

“I’m just trying to tell you I’m sorry, goddammit!” he bellowed.

She pushed away from the stairs to storm down another hallway and shove open the second door on the left. “Your room.”

“Swell.” He threw his stuff into the room, crossed his arms, and glared at her. “Well?”

“Well, what?”

Thunderous brows. “You learn that look from Stevie?”

She rolled her eyes and walked away, down to the double doors on the right and shoved them open. He caught both before she could slam them in his face but paused at the threshold to take in what was clearly her room.

He didn’t know what he’d expected, pinks and frills maybe, but was met with dark colours in soothing shades of grey and navy. Her bed was enormous, the pile of pillows the only concession to her _girly_ nature, but the duvet appeared soft and plush in dove grey, a red blanket hung off the corner, and navy sheets looked inviting.

It was a bed made for long nights, quiet moans, and the exploration of soft skin, and he pulled his gaze from it before that thought went too far to take in the bench at the foot and the wall of windows across from it. The tinted glass would keep anyone from seeing in, though the height of the building discouraged voyeurs anyway. Plush cream carpet silenced her footfalls as she made her way to one tall door, shoving it open to reveal a closet as big as any apartment he’d ever had into which she disappeared. The other door stood open to a bathroom awash in white marble, a tub which would fit him twice over sitting right in the center with a massive glass shower beyond.

His mind wanted to drift to the kinds of things a man could get up too in a shower that size, but he shoved the thoughts aside when Penny returned, sans shoes, in yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt.

She walked to the windows, crossed her arms, and stared blindly out them.

The silence was deafening, but because of it, he could hear the rapid pounding of her heart. The carpet absorbed the sound of his new, surprisingly comfortable boots when they carried him across the room to stand at her back. His reflection appeared behind hers, his appearance still a shock in the leather jacket and black shirt with its small dot pattern. He looked like the cover of fucking GQ, but he grudgingly admitted he matched her better now.

Slowly, he brought his hands to her shoulders and stroked gently. “Penny, please. At least let me apologize.”

She sighed and closed her eyes. “I know you’re sorry. I knew it the day after when you came home.”

“Then what…?” He frowned. “Why do you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you, Bucky. But we’re different people than we were. Getting stuck in the past isn’t going to help anyone.” She opened her eyes and stared at him in the glass. “I need you. That’s the long and short of it. I know you don’t want to be here. I know you don’t want anything to do with me. That’s fine. Hopefully, whoever wants me dead will make a mistake, and this will be resolved soon. Then you can get back to your mountain man life and forget I exist again.”

She tried to hide it, but hurt rang in her words. “Penny…”

She pulled away from him, smiled sadly, and walked toward her bed. “Forgive me. I’m still getting headaches and need to lie down.”

He’d been dismissed, duchess to peasant, but a smirk turned up his lips. He was beginning to see the coolness, that ice princess coating, only appeared when she was uncomfortable. It was her shield and her defence, but it wasn't gonna fly with him.

However, she looked pale, and pain really did seem to hover around her eyes. When she laid down on the big as fuck bed, he walked over, lifted the red blanket from the foot, and draped it over her.

“Thank you,” she whispered, eyes already closed.

He reached out, almost brushed her loosened hair from her face, but held himself back. He'd invaded enough of her space for one day and walked away instead.

But when he reached her door, he paused, something she'd said weighing on him. “I never forgot you existed, Pen.”

She didn't move. Didn't speak. But he knew she'd heard him by the catch in her breathing and shut the doors softly behind him.

***

The scent of something delicious woke Penny about an hour later, drawing her from her rest, and back to the main floor of her home to the kitchen where Bucky took her by surprise.

Standing behind the large granite island was Barnes in a black wife beater, grey sweats, and an apron Steve had given her as a joke. It said kiss the cook and had amused him for she didn’t cook. Ever. But clearly, Bucky did for he was stirring a stock pot of something which smelled amazing.

“Oh, my god… that’s _sinful_ ,” she sighed, moving closer to peek in the pot.

“It’s spaghetti alla puttanesca. You had absolutely nothing to eat in your house,” he scolded, turning toward her with an outstretched spoon. “Try it.”

Penny breathed in the heavenly scent of tomatoes, garlic, and oregano before taking in the mouthful he’d provided. The moan which escaped her was entirely involuntary and completely necessary. “That may be the best thing I’ve ever tasted, even if it is whore’s sauce.”

His mouth dropped open. “Excuse me?”

Penny snickered and stole a length of spaghetti from the other pot to suck into her mouth. When it came up at the end and smacked her in the nose, she giggled. “Spaghetti alla puttanesca is literally, spaghetti in the style of a whore in Italian.”

He burst out laughing and turned off the stove. “Good to know. I forgot you knew all those languages.”

She shrugged and went to retrieve plates from a cupboard and a bottle of wine from the fridge, a nice Chianti which she thought would pair well. “Languages just came easy. These seem to… stick.” When she reached for two glasses for the wine, he grunted.

“Rather a beer.”

She threw him a look which said she thought he was a neanderthal but retrieve a bottle of beer from the fridge and only one glass. “When did you learn to cook?”

“In the last year. Just cause I live alone doesn’t mean I don’t want to eat. And now, I eat like your brother. Easier to just make what I want when I want it.” He took the plates and dumped a healthy serving of pasta on each before pouring the sauce over the top.

“And where pray tell, did all this food come from?” Had he left her there alone while she was sleeping? The idea was alarming.

He shook the spoon at her. “Don’t look at me like that, Pen. I may be out of the loop on fashion, but even I know you can buy shit online and have it delivered. I called down to the door and let Bob know it was coming. He sent it up when it got here.”

He shoved the plate at her. “Bucky… I…”

“I’m not going anywhere, Pen. I’ve got your damn back, alright?”

He grabbed his plate and the bottle of beer and made to leave, but Penny grabbed his wrist. “Stay, please. I’m… I’m sorry. Everything in my life is just so… scrambled right now.” She motioned toward the bar stools and retrieved utensils from a drawer in the island when he gave a sharp nod and took a seat.

They dug in at the same time, and Penny had to fight not to make the same noise as before. “Damn. I’ve eaten at some of the best restaurants in the city and haven’t had food that tasted this good. You could make a killing as a chef.”

Bucky chuckled softly but shook his head. “Nah. I don’t mind cooking for myself, but I figure other people start stickin’ their nose in and telling me how I should and shouldn’t do something would just take the fun out of it.” He eyed her as she poured wine into her glass. “You have quite the collection.” He jerked his head toward the row of wine bottles beside the fridge.

“I’m a connoisseur of the finer things, what can I say?” She shrugged and sipped from her glass, relishing the way the spices and flavours exploded on her taste buds. “The right wine paired with the right food is an experience in sensuality and quality.”

“Sure thing, Duchess,” he snickered.

Ignoring the jab, Penny snatched his bottle of beer away before he could drink.

“Hey!” he barked.

She held it out of reach. “Let me prove it to you.”

“What? You think your fancy schmancy wine is better than beer?” He snorted. “I don’t think so.”

Penny smirked as she set his bottle down to pick up her glass and held it out to him. “One sip. Eat the sauce and take one sip. Then tell me I’m wrong. Tell me the wine doesn’t enhance everything about the dish.”

He stared at her, blue-grey orbs assessing. Studying. Weighing his options. “What do I get if you’re wrong?”

“Nothing but the chance to gloat.” She tilted the wine toward him.

For a moment she didn’t think he’d rise to the dare, then a spark kindled and he forked up a mouthful of pasta. He didn’t look away but remained focused with laser precision on her face while her gaze dropped to watch as he slipped the pasta curled around his fork between plump lips. Had they always been so full? She couldn’t quite remember. He chewed slowly. His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed, and he took the glass from her slack fingers.

Penny could feel a blush forming on her cheeks when he brought her glass to his lips and sipped slowly, his mouth pressing to the same place hers had been moments ago. A quiet hum escaped his throat. His lashes fluttered to lay heavy and thick on his cheeks when he closed his eyes and relished the flavour.

When they opened again, the blue had deepened into a sea of sapphire she’d never seen before.

“Alright. I concede.”

“Huh?” she whispered, watching his tongue slide along that plush lower lip to catch the last drop.

A low rumbled chuckle filled the space between them. “You win. I can see the draw of the wine.”

“Oh!” The blush burst free. “I can get you a glass.”

“Think I’d still rather the beer,” he said, and she was quick to give it back.

“Beer is for burgers, pizza, and hot dogs. Not pasta,” she grumbled fighting the embarrassment clawing at her for ogling him again. It was becoming a habit. One she couldn’t afford.

“For a woman with bare cupboards, you have a mighty high opinion about food.”

She shot him a glare. “Just cause I can’t cook, doesn’t mean I don’t like to eat.”

“How in the hell did you survive till now?” he asked between forking in more food and chewing.

Penny shrugged. “I work late a lot. So there’s takeout or business dinners. Most days I’ve got early morning meetings or calls to other countries. Coffee gets me through until I can stop at the bakery down the block from my building. Lunch is either ordered in or gets forgotten if I’m in the lab. I get by.”

He picked up his beer and stared at her, letting the silence stretch on. She had no idea what was going on in his head, but she didn’t like the way he was frowning at her.

“Fuck, you need a keeper.”

Her hair swung and fell around her shoulders when she whipped her head up. “Excuse me?”

“You get winded climbing stairs. You don’t eat properly. I bet you sleep weird hours and likely live on coffee. You’re gonna burn out or give yourself an ulcer. Do you even use the sparkling gym equipment, or is it just for show?”

Penny jerked back in shock before anger kicked in. “Fuck you, Buchanan! What the hell do you know about me or my life to judge me like that, huh? A keeper! Christ! Maybe I should carry Steve’s gun. Then I could shoot you with it!” Shoving from the bar stool, Penny grabbed her plate and her wine and stomped off.

“C’mon, Pen! I didn’t mean it like that!” he called.

She only threw him an icy glare. “Kiss off, jackass. I’ve got work to do, and I’m no longer in the mood for company.”

He was off the stool and standing in front of her so fast; she hadn’t seen him move. “I just mean… you need to take care of yourself. You should have a guy to look after you, is all.”

Rage replace anger. “So now I’m so incompetent I need a man to run my life?” She shoved the food at him, forcing him to take the plate or let the spaghetti pour down the front of the apron he was still wearing. “Let me tell you something, James Barnes! I do not now, nor have I ever, needed a man to do a damn thing for me! I worked my ass off to get where I am today! I did! Alone, without anyone to turn to. Men only get in the way, complicate things, and fuck you over! I’ve had plenty stolen from me by men. The last thing I’m going to do is give up control of my life to one. So take your keeper comment and shove it right up your ass!”

She shoved past him, stalked down the hall, and slammed the door to her office shut. The biometric locks engaged the moment her hand slammed the security plate, and she leaned against the door as the first angry tear fell down her cheek.

The hard kicking of her heart had her bringing a fist to her chest and holding it there when her shortness of breath worsened. On shaky legs, she made her way over to the large picture on the wall — the one of her and Steve as kids, standing with their parents. It was the last family portrait they’d had taken before the accident which had changed everything.

Bucky pounded on the door, but Penny ignored him, setting her glass of wine down and swinging the picture back to reveal the wall safe behind it. She pressed her thumb to the scanner, punched in the six-digit code, and dragged the small red kit out when the safe opened.

She should have done this earlier, but between Steve and his agents, and Bucky’s arrival and need for a wardrobe upgrade, she hadn’t had a chance to be alone. And leaving the case in her closet was simply asking for trouble.

Panting now, she stumbled into her desk, banged her hip hard, swore softly for the super soldier was still shouting at her, and fell into her desk chair. She’d waited almost too long. The erratic pounding of her heart told her she needed to hurry, but the shaking of her hands made her clumsy as she pulled the prepared vile from within and fought to insert it into the dispenser.

The quiet click of success nearly made her sob when she dragged up her t-shirt and shot the dose into her abdomen. Relief was quick in coming, her pulse slowing as the shaking gradually ended, and she put the hypodermic gun back in the case after popping out the vile.

Penny tapped the top of her desk and placed her wrist down on the small square when it lit up. The vitals report wasn’t good. She couldn’t keep doing this. She needed to finish her secret project before she ran out of time. Already she’d gone from a dose twice a year to monthly. And this one had come only three weeks after the last.

It was ironic really. Someone wanted her dead, but all they really had to do was wait six months to a year.

“I can solve so many problems, except how to save myself,” she whispered sadly, needing a minute for the treatment to do its job.

She let the tears fall as silence descended.

Evidently, Bucky had given up.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Language and snark

## Chapter Six

* * *

An hour later, Penny opened the door and came face to face with a seething Bucky.

“You don't ever lock me outta a room again!”

The anger on him had Penny cringing back. Shocked by the intensity and already exhausted from the medication, she hadn't the energy nor the will to deal with him again.

“Please don't yell at me,” she whispered. “Not right now.”

“Penny?” He frowned and stepped forward.

“Don't!” she barked when he reached for her arm.

“Penny, I'm not going to hurt you.”

She looked away. “I can't do this now, Bucky.”

He studied her for a long moment, most likely taking in her red eyes and blotchy face. Then, without warning, she was enveloped in his arms. The hug had her stiffening in shock as the heat from one arm, and the cold from the other played havoc with her system.

“I'm sorry,” he sighed against her ear. “Blame it on being a recluse for months. I've forgotten how to deal with people. I shouldn't have said what I did, especially as it came out wrong.”

It had been so long since anyone other than Steve had touched her, she leaned into Bucky and rested her head on his chest. “It was a dumbass thing to say.”

“I just… you're a nice girl. You should have a guy who'll spoil you and treat you right instead of rattling around in this big ass apartment alone.”

“Buck,” she sighed. “You don't meddle in my love life, and I won't meddle in yours.”

He snorted softly. “Cockblocked me once already.”

“Not my fault you're stuck with me,” she scoffed.

He pulled back enough to see her face. “No, it ain't. But you can't go locking me out of places, Pen. Not even here where we're secure. Even the most secure places can be breached.”

A shot of fear slammed up her spine before Penny shut it away. “Alright. I get it. C’mon.” Pulling out of his embrace and finding the lack of his arms strangely unsettling, Penny walked back into her office toward her desk. “Friday?”

“Yes, ma'am?”

“SHIT!” Bucky jumped. “Another one?”

Penny laughed. “I was intrigued by Jarvis and developed a… similar program. She doesn't yet have the capacity for truly rational thought like Jarvis, but she's learning. Right, Friday?”

“Every damn day, ma'am.”

“Why Friday?” Bucky asked.

Penny set her hand on the corner of her white metal and glass-topped desk, causing it to glow. “Because. She’s my girl.”

She smirked, and Bucky snickered. “Cute.”

“Friday I need you to add Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes to all the biometric scanners both here at home and at the office.”

“All the scanners?”

She hesitated for only a second. “Yes, all.”

“If you'd place your palm in the square please, Sergeant.”

A section toward the middle of her desk lit up, and Bucky moved over to set his hand against it.  “What other toys you hidin’ around here, Pen?”

She grinned and crossed her arms. “Wouldn't you like to know.”

“Yeah. I would.”

He smiled back, and Penny ignored the flutter of butterflies it sent rushing to her belly. “I'll take you for a tour tomorrow.” She motioned toward the scanner. “Best do the other hand, too.”

“Why?”

“Because that hand won't get damaged in a fight. You lose a finger or something, and the scan will fail. The metal hand is practically indestructible.”

“Couldn't I just talk to your AI?”

Penny shook her head. “Friday’s consciousness is only available here at home and in my personal lab. She's not yet ready to make her way through all our systems though she does monitor a few key ones throughout the building. She's still…” Penny hesitated, uncertain how to explain.

“I would consider myself a child yet, Sergeant,” Friday answered. “Some of the world still… disconcerts me. When Penny says I'm ready, I will begin assimilating the day to day functions of Marquis Enterprises. For now, I'm content to learn at a slower pace.”

“Don't you worry, Friday. We'll get you through those teen years.” Penny winked at Bucky who was smirking at her like she was nuts.

“Tech people are so fucking weird.”

“Ma'am? I have the security footage you requested.”

Penny turned back toward her desk. “Let's see it. Begin scans. All databases.”

Bucky frowned. “Security footage? I thought Steve said they shut the cameras down?”

“They did.” Penny tapped the flat image on the desktop and pulled, so it floated as a 3D image above the surface. “But like I said, Friday takes care of a few key systems at work. Cameras happen to be one so when they turned them off; she turned them back on.”

“Why the fuck didn't you tell Steve?” he barked.

She threw a condescending glare his way. “Uh, because he's got more important things to do then go running after whoever wants me dead. Don't ask dumb questions, Buck.”

A smirk twitched his lip. “You know he’ll go nuclear on your ass he finds out you had this and didn't turn it over.”

Penny waved a hand his direction. “He can kiss it for all I care. I can find my own would be killers just as easily as he can,” she muttered, glancing at the blinking red light indicating Friday’s success.

“But you don't have to,” Bucky said and laid his hand over hers. “Share this with SHIELD. Let them help.”

“Why?” Penny frowned and reached into the image, plucking the man who'd called her ma chère from within it. “When I've already found them.” She threw the image at the wall making it larger. “Jean-Baptiste LeCroix and Ignacio Faucheaux, respectively.”

“How the hell?” Bucky muttered as he stared at the two men and their floating wrap sheets.

“You didn't think I just gave SHIELD all my best toys, did you?”

“Penelope Rogers. You little sneak thief.”

Penny laughed and flicked her hand at the screen. “According to Interpol and the FBI’s database, they're killers for higher. LeCroix was part of France’s GIGN until he decided murder for higher was much more profitable. Faucheaux is from Louisiana and was training to be a Seal until he failed his psych eval. Apparently, he enjoyed the blood and gore more than he did the serve and protect part of the military. He went off the rails and hooked up with LeCroix through a mutual acquaintance. One Baron von Strucker.”

“Son of a bitch,” Bucky hissed.

“You know him?”

“He's one of Hyrda’s men. A scientist. If he's looking at you, Pen, this could be something bigger than we thought.”

“Looking at me for what though?” she huffed. “My weapons tech goes to Stark and SHIELD, and any of my medical tech gets implemented in my hospitals. It's not like I'm keeping this stuff to myself. Hell, my medical tech is basically free!”

“Then how'd you wind up rolling in dough?”

“The US military pays very well,” she said with a grin. “I've taken a few grants from them, but nothing I'm designing right now is of much use to the government.”

“What about side projects? Something small, maybe that would be of interest to Strucker?”

She held up her hands. “Nothing.”

“Show me.”

“Bucky,” she sighed. “I can’t.”

“Dammit, Pen!”

She crossed her arms. “Look, I have an R&D department which tests everything from medical grade sheeting which enhances healing times, to guns with retractable bullets! I don't know what they want because I don't know anything about this Strucker! What does he do?”

Everything about Bucky shut down. “Experiments. Human experiments.”

It was as if a giant light bulb went off over her head. “Oh… oh, Bucky.”

“Don't, Duchess.”

Such pain washed over his face Penny couldn't help but reach out and take his hand. “If you ever want to talk…”

His eyes were hard shards of grey slate when he looked at her. “Only if you want to talk about why you don't date.”

She released him like he'd burned her and stepped away, causing the console to shut down.

“Yeah. I figured.”

“You know, Barnes,” Penny murmured as she lifted her chin. “Just about the time I think we can move forward and do this together, you go and show just what an ass you can be all over again.” She walked past him out of the room. “Early morning tomorrow. You should get some sleep.”

He didn't try to stop her, and she didn't bother to look back.

***

The next morning saw Penny back to her professional self. As she stood drinking coffee at the kitchen island waiting on Bucky to get his shit together, Penny went through her list of meetings and appointments her assistant had forwarded to her.

There were more than she wanted to deal with, but her investors and contractors needed to be assured she was both still alive and still working. Marcus had been texting nonstop, but she'd put him off repeatedly, telling him she'd see him when she got back.

Already there was pressure building behind her eyes, and the coffee was sitting like a dead weight in her stomach.

“Eat something.”

She hadn't even heard him coming and stiffened in momentary surprise. “I'm fine.”

“You're not, but I'm not going to argue with you.” He stalked past her to pour his own cup of joe and turned to face her, giving Penny her first look at Bodyguard Barnes.

The dark blue suit and tie paired exquisitely with the crisp shirt; a blue so pale it was nearly white. Penny could see the slight bulge of the weapon tucked under his arm. Something about the belt at his waist screamed, "not what I seem to be." The silver buckle was more prominent than she thought it should be, and she highly doubted he did it as a phallic symbol of superiority most men subconsciously displayed when wearing such a piece. The incredibly sharp crease in his pant leg disappeared where it pulled tight over the thighs she’d admired only yesterday. She wondered how they’d look on his cute ass, but figured it better not to ask.

“Acceptable,” was all she said when he arched a challenging brow.

He snorted into his coffee cup. “I make this looked good, Pen. Don't even think about giving me that acceptable bull.”

“Maybe.” A smirk twitched her lips. “We should go.”

“Eat something.”

“What are you my mother?” she quipped but plucked up an apple. “Happy?”

“Getting there,” he murmured, eyes twinkling in that most annoying, yet sexy way.

Penny rolled hers and turned to put her documents back in her purse. “Suck an egg, Barnes.”

“Hey,” he said softly.

“What?”

“I was out a line.”

Her shoulders slumped. “I don't want…”

“To talk about it. Yeah, I know the feeling,” he sighed and rinsed out his cup in the sink.

Penny bit her lip, feeling a little bit of guilt sour the already hard ball of lead in her stomach. She’d pried last night. Poked at a hole in his past which was clearly a sore spot. She knew all about sore spots in the psyche and winced before blurting out, “I’m sorry!”

He paused, his shoulders rising and tightening before relaxing slowly. “For what?”

She sighed and rolled the apple between her palms. “I shouldn’t have pried. Your life is your business.”

He set the cup down gently and gripped the edge of the sink. A heavy sigh seemed to leak from him, almost as if he was trying hard to keep it from escaping. “Don’t do that, Penelope.”

“What?” she frowned.

His head bowed before he pushed away and turned to face her. “Don’t make excuses for me. Don’t apologize for caring. Don’t think anything is your fault when it’s me. I’m the one who can’t…” he seemed to struggle for a moment, “emote!”

It was a little crack in the facade, a slight fissure breaking through the hard shell which surrounded him. A slip of the control he held onto so tightly to protect himself after whatever happened in Russia.

She didn’t like it. Didn’t like seeing the tough, strong, brave man she’d always secretly admired struggle and wrestle with his emotional pain. It made her desperate to shore him up, to give him back what he’d lost.

“Emote, huh?” she said, a little smile on her lips as she tossed the apple at him.

Bucky caught it with his metal hand, just as agile and nimble as the flesh one. “Yeah.” A smirk twitched his lip. “Like some fucking Shakespearean actor.”

He bit into her apple and made Penny laugh. “I bet you’d look sexy in tights.”

“Damn straight,” he snickered and made his way around the island. He plucked up another apple and held it out.

Penny didn’t think, but quietly stepped into his body and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thank you, Bucky. For being here. For doing this.”

“Pen,” he sighed and hugged her back. “Shut up.”

She rolled her eyes but rested her head on his chest. “Yes, sir.” Her hand landed on a solid object tucked at his low back. “How many weapons are you packing?”

“Enough.”

Penny looked up at his amused visage and pulled away. “How many is that?”

“Let’s just say you don’t want to grab me in too many places or you might get a prickly surprise,” he snickered, a blade appearing from God only knew where which he used to slice off a piece of the second apple. “Eat this.” He held it out on the point of the blade.

“Is this going to become a thing?” she asked, picking it from the tip with her nails.

“Maybe. If you don’t eat like a normal person.” He went back to eating his apple.

Relaxed, amused, and smiling, Penny shook her head. He was back to being annoying which made her irrationally happy. “You’re going to be a pain in my ass.”

“Gotta keep you on your toes somehow, Duchess.”

For once the nickname made her laugh and saunter away, with her purse toward the door. “Come along, Barnes. Time to get going.”

“Penelope.”

She stopped, the thick, gravel growl of her name sending shivers up her spine when she turned around and crossed her arms over her chest. “James?”

He held out the apple. “Eat this.”

Smirking, she walked back toward him and took the apple from his hand. “Yes, sir.”

“Wish you were always so compliant, baby girl,” he snickered.

“Don’t get used to it, Barnes,” she laughed and bit into the apple.

A quiet rumble of sound vibrated in his chest. “Let’s go… ma’am.”

“Miss Rogers is perfectly acceptable, soldier,” she teased when he took her by the elbow.

“Well, Miss Rogers, what the fuck is up with you and these ankle busting shoes? You’re gonna wreck yourself, roll an ankle, and break your fool neck if we’ve got to run anywhere.”

Fear instantly wrapped itself around her innards, but she forced herself to fight it off. “I can’t change everything about myself and the way I work because of what’s happened. I have to...” it was her turn to struggle to explain.

“Put on a front,” he nodded slowly. “I get that.”

Penny sighed, thankful he understood. “I have to do this. Dress like this,” she indicated the sleek navy dress, chunky red necklace, and black pumps, “so the people I work with will see nothing’s changed; that I haven't let this scare me. I won’t. I can’t! I worked too damn hard to get where I am today to let it all… crumble because someone wants me dead!”

Her heart was pounding, too hard and fast when Bucky’s hands cupped her face. “Breathe, Pen. I get it. I do.”

“I put a pair of flats in my purse,” she sighed.

“You did?” He seemed surprised.

She shrugged and pulled away from his hands. “I tore up the bottom of my foot getting in the panic room.”

“Pen.” His hand lightly stroked her ponytail. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. Not again.”

He sounded so kind and confident it brought tears to her eyes. Then, his hand tightened on her hair and gently pulled until she lifted her head. Penny refused to acknowledge the powerful shot of desire which slammed through her body. It was foreign and disconcerting, and with everything else going on, she didn’t want to think about unrequited feelings for James Buchanan Barnes.

But when she looked up, found his eyes blue and soft and beautiful, it was like the years fell away. She was seventeen again, standing in the kitchen of his mother’s house, seeing him in his uniform for the first time.

“Bucky,” she whispered.

“I promise, Pen. I’ll keep you safe.” He gently touched her cheek. “I’m gonna figure this out, and when I do, you can have your life back.”

She closed her eyes, pain replacing pleasure and old memories. “Yeah, my life.”

“Penny?” he muttered.

Giving herself a mental shake, Penny smiled and stepped away. “Let’s get going. I have tedious and aggravating meetings to get to.”

He eyed her suspiciously for one long second before giving a sharp nod. “Yeah, I’m gonna need a tablet and a secure internet connection to see if I can dig a little deeper into Strucker and his hired goons.”

“I’ll see you get everything you need once we get there.” Penny headed for her coat again, pulling one of heavy grey wool from the closet.

She didn’t notice the frown Bucky cast her way when he saw the half-eaten apple she’d left on the kitchen island.

***

Bucky pulled into the garage and turned off the car, then turned to face Penny sitting in the back seat. Her heart hammered in her chest, and when his gaze fell on her face, he tried not to let the pity show on his.

Bleach white, her hands tightened into fists, they shook where they sat in her lap. Instead of getting out of the vehicle, he laid the seat down and got into the back seat with her. “Penny?”

“I’m okay,” she whispered.

“No, you’re not, but you will be.” He took both her hands in his and brought them to his chest. “Look at me.” Her gaze snapped up. Fear had leached her eyes of colour, turning them a pale, crystalline blue. “Deep breath.” He took one as well, encouraging her to mimic his actions.

He’d purposely parked in a spot away from where her car had blown up, closer to the doors and over a row. There was still crime scene tape surrounding the area her vehicle had once sat, though the pile of twisted metal was long gone.

“You can do this, Pen. We’re going to get out of the car, you’re going to keep your chin up, and we’re gonna walk in there like it’s nothing. You’re gonna get mobbed. People are gonna want to coddle and cry and ask questions. You need to dig deep and find that fighting Rogers spirit. You’ve got this, Pen. You’ve got this.”

She closed her eyes, took a couple of deep breaths, and when they opened again the colour had returned to both her irises and her face. “I’ve got this.”

“Yeah, you do,” he grinned and tugged her into his lap.

“What… what are you doing?” she gasped.

He arched a brow and smirked a little wider. “Why? Being in my lap excite you, Duchess?” She hit him in the shoulder, and he laughed. “I gotta get out first, and my seat's in the way. Cool your jets, Pen.”

“Get out!” She shoved him over and slipped onto the seat at his side while he laughed and opened the door. Her foot connected with his ass and dug in when she gave him a kick out the door. “Ow! Dammit, stop! Your shoes are sharp! Son of a bitch!”

“Then stop teasing me you ass!” she huffed.

Still chuckling, Bucky stood in the doorway and had a look around.

“The garage is clear of people, Sergeant Barnes,” the AI in the vehicle said.

“Thank you, Jarvis. Buck, move your butt!” Penny shoved him with her foot again but avoided digging in her heel.

“Hey!” he barked, but couldn’t stop smirking, happy she was back to being snippy and not terrified.

She dragged her big ass purse out of the back of the car and Bucky shut the door on the AI who was mouthing off about protecting the vehicle. “I can see how you could carry shoes in your purse. That thing's enormous. If all else fails, I’ll just hit someone with it and knock them out.”

“Don’t mock my purse or I’ll hit you with it,” she quipped.

He laughed and pulled a leather glove from his pocket which he slipped over his metal hand. “C’mon, Duchess. The peasants are waiting.”

She snorted out a giggle. “Is it bad that I find that funny?”

Placing his hand on her low back, Bucky guided her toward the door. “Nope.”

“They’re my staff, not my peasants. Some I would even consider co-workers.”

“Like Marcus Taft?” he asked casually.

In the few days between her release from the medical center at the compound and his arrival in her home, Bucky had been through every person who worked in her building with a fine tooth comb. Granted, Steve had done the background checks for her, so SHIELD had files on everyone, but that didn’t explain how the security guard who’d gotten a shot off at her got hired without SHIELD signing off.

“Marcus?” she muttered. “He’s my partner. What’s he got to do with anything?”

She was far too smart for her own good to play it off as pure curiosity on Bucky’s behalf. “Pen, Marcus was the one who signed off on the security guard gettin’ hired.”

Her hand froze as she reached with her key card for the door. “What?”

“Taft. He gave the okay to hire the night guard.” Bucky took the card from her lax fingers and swiped it through the reader.

“And?”

She didn’t move when he pushed the door open and stepped in ahead of her, so he took her by the elbow and jerked her after him. “And what?”

“I’m sure you or someone from Steve’s crew asked him why. What was his response?”

Bucky walked into the lobby of her building and paused, keeping her back as he took in the area, the guards, the people, in nothing more than a second. Beyond the front doors were milling reporters, their cameras and bored expressions easy to read. “Stay on my right.”

“Why?”

He glanced at her and flexed his left arm, causing the plates to shift beneath his jacket.

Her eyes hardened. “Right. Taft?”

Like a dog with a bone. Bucky drew her away from the front desk, away from the windows, and went straight to the third elevator. She’d used the first to make her escape. He wasn’t about to force her back into it. “He claims he knew nothing about it.”

“You don’t believe him?”

“I didn’t ask him,” he murmured, eyeing the six foot two, three hundred pound, caucasian male with strawberry blond hair coming at them wearing a badge and a gun, and let the one of the may blades strapped to his wrist fall into the palm of his hand.

“Will you ask him now?”

He didn’t answer her, only stepped between Penny and the detective. “Help you with something?” he growled, flipping the shuriken surreptitiously to a better hold.

“Penelope Rogers?” He held up his badge. “I have a few questions about who’s trying to kill you.”

“Then you should speak with her brother, Detective. Steve’s the one someone’s got a beef with,” Bucky stated quietly, his hand tightening on her arm to warn Penny to silence.

“Is that true, ma’am? Can we speak somewhere more private?” the detective asked, shifting to move around him.

Bucky moved with him, keeping Penny close. “No can do, Detective…?”

“McGilvery. Nate McGilvery, and I’d appreciate it if you let the lady speak for herself,” the detective snapped, moving to get around him again.

Bucky’s hand tightened on the blade.

“I’m afraid you’ve come at a bad time, Detective. My day is incredibly full as it is my first one back since the… incident. I’m certain everything you wish to know you can ascertain through speaking with my brother or feel free to check with my assistant for an appointment.”

Frigid, her duchess voice was in full command. Bucky fought hard not to laugh at the shock rippling through McGilvery’s poker face.

“I’m going to be late, James. Excuse us.” She tilted her head, queen to a peasant, and Bucky led her away.

He shot a glare at the security guard standing near the elevator, one that saw the man jerking to attention, and Bucky tilted his head toward the detective. Instantly the guard was moving to intercept McGilvery whose wits had returned for he called out Penny’s name.

“Just keep moving,” Bucky murmured, ushering her through the doors when they opened. He smacked the card against the reader and pushed the button for the top floor.

“Why did I think I wouldn’t have to speak with them?” she whispered.

“Because Steve is a dumbass who told you he’d handle it. The city cops may like your brother on principle, but this was an assault in their city. I'm not surprised to see him here, and we’ve only stonewalled him for a minute. You got a fancy attorney?”

“Of course,” she muttered, peering at him. “She works on the fifteenth floor.”

“Get her to your office, asap. She can field calls for interviews. You’re not going to want to tell the police anything about what happened besides what they are already aware from bein’ here that night. I’ll shoot a text to Steve, get them to claim it’s a SHIELD matter and they have jurisdiction. It may work, it may not.” He released her elbow to take the blade and shove it back into the guard around his forearm. 

“You were really going to stab a detective?” she gasped, staring at him with wide eyes.

He only arched a brow. “Pen, as of right now, you trust no one but Stevie and me.”

“What about Nat? Or Sam? Or Clint?” she asked, fidgeting with the strap on her purse.

Bucky caught her chin and lifted her gaze back to his. “Yeah, I guess those three are okay.”

A smile twitched her lips. “I’ll call Tamara up as soon as we get to my office.

“Good. We don’t know what or who we’re dealing with, Pen. That man can claim all he likes he’s police, but until I check his name and badge number we can’t be certain. So yeah, if he’d come at you or made any motion to reach for his gun, I’d a put a blade through his throat. No hesitation. That’s my job.”

Her big blue eyes looked haunted. “I didn’t even see him coming until he was on top of us.”

“My job, baby.”

“But what if you weren’t here?” she whispered.

“Pen, I’m always gonna be here.” He brushed his thumb casually over her lip. “Game face.”

She breathed out a harsh exhale as he turned to face the doors, hands casually crossed in front of him.

Her hands suddenly pressed against his back. “I’m glad you’re here, Buck.”

His heart hurt with the smallness of her voice, and he did his best to lighten her mood. “We’ll see if you’re still saying that come five o’clock,” he quipped and threw her a cheeky grin over his shoulder. When he turned to face the doors again, she punched him in the spine. “You hit like a girl.”

“I am a girl,” she grumbled, but there was a smile in her voice.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: language

## Chapter Seven

 

Bucky hated Taft on sight. The man was everything he wasn't. Slick, suave, charming. Once Penny had navigated the gauntlet that was her outer office area, thanking people for their cards, or emailed well-wishes, Taft was lying in wait for her in her office.

Bucky new his face, of course, but still had to stop himself from reaching for a weapon when he pushed open the door and found the man sitting in Penny's chair with his fancy shoes perched on her desk.

His shoes were the one part of his wardrobe Bucky had refused to compromise. He’d polished the boots to a high shine, but they were still steel toed and military ready. He had a second pair designed by Stark for fancy dress, still comfortable, still steel toed and combat ready, but they just weren't the same as the heavy boots he knew would do severe damage if he were to kick motherfucker Taft in his prissy face.

“Help you?” Bucky growled, holding Penny back.

“Penelope, my dear! I was so worried about you!” Taft cried when Penny came to a stop in the doorway.

“Marcus, why are you in my office?”

The man swung his legs down and jolted from her seat, a grin on his face. “Same old Penelope. All business,” he chuckled, but the annoyance which saw the lines around his eyes and mouth deepening did not go unnoticed by Bucky. “We’ve barely spoken, and people are concerned. How was I to assure our clients and associates everything was fine when I couldn’t even see you?”

“Marcus, it wasn't your job to assure anyone!” Penny snapped, striding past Bucky to dump her coat and purse on a chair. She turned and slammed her hands on her hips. “I told you I was fine, and I would handle it when I got in today. Who did you talk to?”

“Well… I…”

Penny gasped when Marcus flushed. “If you tell me you contacted Yakomoto-san, Marcus, I will be _very_ upset.”

“He… he called. What was I supposed to do?” Taft snapped and took a step toward Penny that had Bucky looming large behind her.

“You were supposed to say I would contact him today. Or better yet, inform me in one of your incessant emails or text messages he was asking for me. I would have called him!”

Her voice was so hard with condemnation, Bucky almost felt bad for Taft. Almost.

“Call off your goon, Penelope,” Marcus sneered. “I'm no threat.”

“That remains to be seen,” Bucky muttered and crossed his arms over his chest.

“He's not a goon, Marcus. James is here for my protection until the people responsible are caught.”

“I thought this had something to do with your brother?” Marcus asked.

“So? That doesn't mean they won't try again. Also, what the hell were you doing signing off on a security hire? That's not part of your job description!”

“I didn't know he was going to shoot at you! They needed an executive to sign off on the last minute replacement, and I was available. Everything looked fine!”

“Not good enough, Marcus! You head finance, not security. This is my company! You run decisions through me! And as of right now all security changes are run through him!” She pointed his way, but Bucky only continued to glower.

“C’mon, Penelope! We've been working together since the beginning. Do you really think I'd want to hurt you?”

She drew herself up tall. “At this point, Marcus, I only trust two people. Steve and James. I want the name of everyone you've assured since my absence emailed to me in the next ten minutes.”

Marcus gave the bottom of his blazer an angry tug. “This is unacceptable, Penelope.  We've been partners for years. You've always trusted me!”

“That was before I watched my car, a car parked in a secure underground facility, blow up practically in my face. That was before armed men chased me through this very floor to try and kill me. A floor in a building accessible by keycard only. They needed inside help to get in here, Marcus. Don't tell me I'm being too cautious.”

Bucky had seen Pen go full duchess a few times, but this was a step beyond even that. She glared him down like an Ice Queen.

Marcus was first to look away. “I'll get you those names,” he said, striding for the door.

“And Marcus?” Penny called, stopping the man before he could leave. “You may be an executive in this company, you may have been here since the beginning, I may even do you the courtesy of calling you my partner, but never forget who really owns this company. It's mine. I built it from the ground up, and it will stay solely mine until _I_ say otherwise.”

He gave a nod, unable to hide his anger, before storming away.

“Wow. You really told him,” Bucky chuckled.

“He gets full of himself on occasion,” she muttered and pressed a button on her desk phone. “Darla, please come in here.”

“Ma’am?” The woman was at least a decade plus older than Penny, but a looker for sure to Bucky's way of thinking. Petite, brunette, classy in her black and white suit. Precisely what one would expect an assistant to a woman like Penny would look like.

“I need you to put a private call through to Yakamoto-san and call Tamara to come up as soon as possible.”

“Yes, ma’am. Coffee?”

“Buckets of it today, Darla, please,” Penny smiled. “And I need the tablet I asked for brought to Sergeant Barnes as soon as possible.”

“Can I get you anything, Mr. Barnes, while you wait?” Darla asked.

She looked him over for the second time, the first being when Penny came past her desk and licked her lips.

“I hear there's a bakery down the street Miss Roger's favours. I'd love it if someone would run down there and get a dozen of her favourites as she missed breakfast.”

“I'll send one of the interns right away,” Darla beamed and disappeared out the door, shutting it as she went.

“You think you're so damn tricky,” Penny muttered as she went to hang her coat in the closet and tucked her purse on the shelf above it before shutting the door.

“You need to eat, Pen. Guzzling gallons of coffee on an empty stomach is only gonna give you an ulcer,” Bucky muttered as he made his way toward her desk. “Tell me about Marcus.”

“Are you seriously looking at him?”

“At this point, I'm looking at everyone.” Though he had suspicions, as did Steve, about who was behind this and why.

Penny flopped in her chair with a sigh to turn and peer out the windows at the city laid out before her building. “Marcus was a finance major I met in university. Becca was dating his roommate, and we met casually at a party she dragged me to. We were friends, but when I started forming my company, Marcus was who I talked to about financial issues, and Tamara was my legal counsel. You use what you have, right? They've both been with me since the beginning. Tamara now has her own firm she runs out of the fifteenth floor and specializes in corporate law. Marcus runs my financial division and keeps me apprised on the influx and outflow of capital. He's been talking at me about going public, selling shares of my company, but… I don't want to do that. Yes, it would make us millions, hell _billions_ , most likely but then there would be a board to answer to, and people sticking their noses into my projects where they didn't belong. No. I'm not interested in making this company public and never will be.”

Bucky frowned. “And if you were to die, Pen. What happens then? Who does all this,” he waved his hand at her office, “go to? Steve?”

“Yes and no.” She fidgeted with her fingers.

“Pen, baby girl, you need to talk to me,” Bucky murmured and crouched beside her chair to take her hands. “Who benefits if you die?”

“Steve gets everything, but I've requested he give all rights to my tech to Tony. Out of everyone I know, Stark's the only one who will continue my work the way I'd want it to be continued.”

Bucky frowned again. “Is this… new? Was it different before?”

She sighed and closed her eyes. “Steve has always been the beneficiary, but before I met Stark and changed my will… there was a contingency. If something were to happen to me, Marcus was to advise Steve on how I wanted things done.”

“Jesus, Penny!” he huffed sharply.

“He doesn't know about it!” she barked.

“Who wrote and witnessed your will, Pen?”

“Tamara.”

“And you were all friends? You really think she kept it to herself?”

“Yes. Because that's her job!” Penny snapped and pulled away.

Bucky grabbed her chair. “And did Tamara write the new will?”

“No… no,” Penny frowned. “I… she was away when I decided to make the changes. I used someone Tony recommended.”

He didn't ask why the sudden urge to make the change, but the strangeness of it didn't slip past him either. “So, as far as anyone knows, Marcus gets control of everything if you die?”

“Tamara and Steve are the only two people who are supposed to know,” she said quietly, her face growing pale. “You don’t think… Tony?”

Bucky couldn’t see Stark having anything to do with the hit on Penny, not with how they already collaborated, nor with the moral compass Tony had. Stark was a strange man, but Bucky highly doubted he’d ever want to kill Penny. “No. I know Stark. I spent a shit ton of time with him when he fitted the arm. He’s a genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist, and occasionally a dick, but if he wanted something from you, he’d just ask.”

She leaned forward over, set her elbows on her knees, and her head in her hands. “Fuck my life. So you think it’s Marcus? Or Tamara? God!”

“Pen.” Bucky pulled her hands away and cupped her chin. They were now nearly face to face, noses almost touching. He could smell the scent of the mint she’d eaten in the elevator; noted the strain all this was causing in the lines around her mouth. “We don’t know anything for certain. All I’m doing is the legwork. Investigating is part of my job, so I’m gonna ask questions. I’m gonna poke at your life. I need you to go with the flow and answer these things as openly as you have been so I can get to the bottom of this. It’s like you said. The building is secure. They needed an inside man, and if anyone had bothered to check the security guard’s background, he never would have been hired.”

“So either Marcus was shown false information, or he already knew the guy wasn’t what he seemed.”

“Exactly. Until we know for sure, you keep all our suspicions to yourself. You got questions, you ask me. You understand?”

“Yeah, Buck,” she whispered, her brilliant blue eyes drifting down to his lips.

Unable to help himself, Bucky brushed his thumb over her lower lip. “We’ve got this, baby girl. Nothing’s gonna happen to you. Not on my watch.”

She brought her hand to his face and lightly brushed the stubble on his cheek. “I feel better with you here. I look around, and all I can see is the wreckage. My door laying on the floor. Books scattered everywhere and desk overturned.”

Her hand shook against him, and Bucky’s heart clenched. “To make it look like a robbery gone bad most likely. You’re safe, Pen. I’ve got you.”

On a little sigh, her forehead connected with his. “Bucky, I-” The beep of her phone had Penny pulling away, and Bucky containing a sigh. “Yes, Darla?”

“Mr. Yakamoto on line one. I’ll be back momentarily with your other requests.”

“Thank you, Darla.”

Penny took a deep breath, cast him a sideways glance, and picked up the receiver. “Yakamoto-san. _Watashi no denwa o totte itadaki arigatōgozaimasu_.”

Bucky stood and moved away, disappointed she hadn’t finished what she was about to say but had to smirk a little at her flawless change in languages. Unbuttoning his jacket, he took a glance around the room and made his way toward the panic room Steve had found her in.

Thick dark carpets in steel grey muffled his footfalls, while walls of textured paper, some kind of classy grass weave in soft sand gave the space an elegant feel. Framed impressionist paintings hung in a few places, while the blueprints for one of her first designs, a medical diagnostic table which had revolutionized Emergency Room procedure hung proudly between two Monet reproductions.

No, he hadn’t been aware of just who she’d become or how important she was until he’d seen her again at SHIELD, but with the revelation, Bucky had done his research. She wasn’t just smart. She was a fucking genius, so incredibly smart he felt dumb standing in the room with her. But beyond that, she was generous and kind. Her donations and advancements in healthcare were… he had no words for how incredible he found her.

Sitting behind her big glass and steel desk in a chair of tan leather with the phone pressed to her ear, speaking Japanese to some hospital tycoon in Japan just slammed home how far above the apartment in Brooklyn she’d risen.

Bucky pressed his palm to the plate and took a look in her panic room. It had been cleaned, not a speck of blood remained, and Bucky didn’t want to think about how small and damaged she would have looked laying there. He closed the door and reset the security before turning to take in the rest of her big as fuck office.

A door of frosted glass had replaced the one of wood which had been busted off its hinges. Bookcases ran the length of the same wall and held many a book as well as items he suspected were from Penny’s travels. There was a seating area Bucky knew he would be commandeering for his use as the sofa was plenty big enough to fit him, and it looked far more comfortable than he’d expected.

Across from the door and bookcases, the entire wall was windows giving the office it's incredible view. Penny’s desk sat in the middle of the room, though her back faced the windows, and a door led into a conference room with a table big enough to sit twenty. A wall of glass separated it from her office, while a second set of doors in frosted glass led out of the room.

Bucky crossed the floor to stride into the conference room and shoot the locks and bolts home before tapping his finger against the glass. Heavy and tempered, but not impenetrable. It wouldn’t do a very good job keeping someone out if they were set on getting in. The door directly into her office also locked, and Bucky closed and locked it as well.

Penny frowned at him, but she didn’t stop speaking, eventually tucking the phone into her shoulder as she began pulling up plans in three dimensions on her desk.

A quiet knock preceded Bucky shifting to place his body between Penny and her office door, relaxing only a little when Darla backed through it, packing a tray of coffee along with all the fixings. The man with her, perhaps boy would be a better term, was a shaggy-haired, pimply faced kid who bobbled the pink pastry box when he caught sight of Bucky. Clutched in his other hand was a tablet Bucky held his hand out for.

“Thanks, doll,” he murmured to Darla, still eyeing the kid.

“One of our three IT interns. Francis, this is Miss Rogers personal security, James Barnes.”

“Sir!” the kid squeaked and gave over the tablet.

“This new?” The kid nodded. “And secure?” Another nod. “Good.” Bucky dismissed him with his own nod and took the box from his hand before the pastries Bucky planned on shoving down Penny’s throat wound up on the floor.

“If you need anything else, just give me a shout.” Again, Darla licked her lips and looked Bucky over, but when he didn’t reciprocate the appreciation, she sighed. “Tamara needs thirty before she can get up here, I’ve managed to squeeze her in for fifteen minutes between other appointments.”

“Good. Any calls from the press are to be answered with no comment. Any calls from police for interview are to be redirected to this number.” He dug SHIELD’s standard issue business card for such things from his pocket and handed it over. “If they insist, send them to her lawyer. They manage to bully their way up here, you get me. Immediately.”

“Yes, sir,” Darla blinked, apparently a little taken aback.

“Any changes to Miss Roger’s schedule gets forwarded to me for approval first. Anyone wishing to speak with her, no matter who they are, are run through me first. And Darla,” he lowered his voice and scowled, “I ever walk in here to find someone waiting for her again, you’re fired.”

“You… you can’t do that!” she gasped.

“I’m now head of security for not only Penny personally, but for this tower. Yes, I damn well can. Until this is resolved, no one, no one comes in here without expressed permission. Understood?”

“Yes… yes, sir,” she murmured before rushing from the room, Francis hot on her heels.

“Threatening the help?” Penny asked.

He glanced her way, expecting anger and her sharp tongue, only to find resignation and wry amusement as she covered the mouthpiece of the receiver. “I got to do what I gotta do, Pen. If that means stepping on a few toes and pissing a few people off, so be it.”

She smiled a sharp grin. “Just so you know, if she quits you get to take her place.”

Bucky shrugged. “How hard can it be to answer a few phone calls?”

“Pray you never find out,” Penny snickered and returned to her call.

***

Hours later, Penny was impressed with Bucky’s fortitude. He’d been a damn bulldog about her eating, bringing her a bear claw on a napkin while she was still on the phone with Yakamoto-san, and standing there with her cup of coffee out of reach until she’d picked up the pastry and taken a bite. Only once she’d committed to eating the damn thing did he hand over her cup.

Tamara had rushed in, hugged her, gushed over how terrible the incident had been, and rushed back out with barely a glance at Bucky after assuring Penny she’d take care of the police and any calls for interviews. It had been fast, but Tamara had always been a bit of a whirlwind. She was a busy woman, so the shortness of her visit wasn’t a sign of guilt or nerves, it was just the way she was.

Still, it irked Penny a little how everyone was a suspect now. How she suddenly felt the need to second guess all her friends. Though, really, they hadn’t been friends like they were in years. They had drifted apart after university, not that Penny was much in their circle, to begin with. She’d been too occupied with her multiple degrees and reaching her goals. Still, they’d all worked closely together to build her company. Now to look at them and wonder made her uncomfortable.

But she pushed it to the side to worry about later. That was what Bucky was here for after all. And though he still disconcerted her a little, she did trust him to keep her safe and figure this out. Steve called Bucky his best guy, and her brother wouldn’t trust him like that if it weren’t true.

Bucky had planted himself on her sofa, a big white leather thing the designers recommended that Penny rarely used, but for some reason, Bucky looked at home there. Like a model waiting to have his picture taken. It was unfair just how hot he looked now that he wasn’t rocking the hobo vibe anymore.

But she was too busy to spend much time contemplating the hotness of James Barnes. She spent hours working her way through the list of people Marcus had talked to as well as video chatting those whose schedules allowed for it. By lunch, she was exhausted and running on fumes only to look up from her last call to find Bucky at the door taking something from Darla.

When the smell hit her, she moaned. “Is that pizza?”

Bucky chuckled. “Does that mean you want some?”

Then she noticed the box and gasped. “Is that Juliana’s?”

“Damn right. Got your favourite. All meat with extra cheese,” he smirked and wandered back toward the sofa. “You gonna join me or am I eating all this myself?”

She punched the button on her phone. “Darla, hold all my calls for the next twenty minutes.”

The woman chuckled a little when she said, “Yes, ma’am.”

Penny made her way across the room and stepped out of her shoes before sitting beside Bucky and taking the slice offered her on a napkin. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“That is my job,” he smirked and twisted the top off a bottle of beer.

Penny laughed as she took the bottle. “Jeez, Buck. What you do? Give ‘em a list?”

“Yup.” He tapped his bottle to hers and took a long pull.

She only shook her head. “Drinking on the job. How unprofessional.”

“Dollface, with my metabolism bottle isn’t enough to even give me a buzz.”

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Penny relaxed into the back of the couch and turned to look at him. “I’d really like to get a look at your arm.”

“Why?”

“Because all I got to see were the specs. I’d love to do a full scan. Tony wouldn’t tell me how they integrated it into your spine. I have a theory, but I’d like to see if I’m right.” Penny set the crust from her pizza on the lid of the box and reached for a second piece.

“Still don’t eat the crust, huh? You know that’s the best part,” Bucky smirked, reaching past her to eat it himself.

“I’d rather the cheesy, meaty goodness, thanks.” Taking a bite, she looked at him with a raised brow. “Well?”

Bucky sighed. “It ain’t pretty, Pen.”

“I’ve seen a lot of things that aren’t pretty, Buck. Or are you so vain you won’t show me?” she teased, trying to lighten the heavy pall which seemed to want to weigh on the moment.

“Vanity has nothing to do with it!” he said sharply. “It’s a reminder of what I-” He closed his mouth so fast she heard his teeth click together.

“Bucky.” She reached out and placed her hand on his gloved one, tightening her hold when he tried to flinch away. “Forget I asked, okay? It’s not that important.”

He gave another heavy sigh and lightly held her hand. “Yeah it is, or you wouldn’t have asked. If you gotta poke at it, can we do it somewhere private?”

“Of course!” Penny grinned and made to stand only to have him tug her back down.

“After you eat. You’re like a damn mouse. Barely enough to get by. No wonder you’re so damn skinny,” he grumbled.

“I don’t know whether to be offended or take that as a compliment.”

Bucky smirked a little grin and shrugged. “Take it however you want, baby girl.”

***

It took another two hours before Penny was able to drag herself away from kissing ass and soothing ruffled feathers to take Bucky down to the floors designated for research and development.

It was fun, actually, to watch his eyes light up at all the gadgets and gizmos. Maybe there was a little tech geek in him too. She showed him the R&D for weapons design, specifically the guns with the retractable bullets. He’d been a sniper, and the idea of using a weapon which would, technically, be untraceable appealed to him, but he also voiced concern about bad people getting their hands on such tech.

Penny waved it off as a moot point. Each weapon was biometrically linked to its owner and would only be available to SHIELD once the kinks were worked out, mainly Steve and his team. And, should someone try and use or tamper with the weapon, it was set to meltdown, destroying all the internal mechanisms as well as the software, rendering it completely useless.

When he’d looked at her in surprise but nodded his approval, she’d muttered a soft, “I’m not an idiot,” and continued the tour, finally arriving at her private lab. Not her secret lab, just her personal one no one was allowed into.

She set her hand on the scanner and walked through the first set of security doors to wait while they closed and sealed behind the two of them.

“Good afternoon, Penny. Sergeant Barnes.”

“Friday. How are things looking?” Penny asked, shrugging into her lab coat and striding through the second door when it opened.

“I’ve finished running the current rounds of tests on all ten projects. On six I have had success, three failed, and one is showing conflicting data.”

“Which one has conflicting data?” she asked, moving toward the partially reclined chair in the middle of the room.

“The artificial lungs work every three out of nine times I run the scenarios. Sometimes they last three months, sometimes six before they fail. Twenty percent of the time they outlast the simulated recipient's projected age of death.

The oddity of it made Penny frown. “Correlate the data and see if there is something we’re missing. Age, race, genetic predisposition. There must be a reason they’re not taking.”

“Will do, ma’am. Can I assist you with something?”

“We’re going to take a look at Bucky’s arm. Standard scans, in-depth internals, full nervous system mapping. I want the works, Friday.” Penny turned to face Bucky only to find him pale-faced and sweating by the door.

“Bucky?”

He didn’t answer, his eyes unfocused.

“Friday?”

“The sergeant’s heart rate and breathing are elevated. He appears to be having a panic attack.”

Penny looked from Bucky to the lab and frowned. What could have set him off? She gasped softly. The chair, the lab, the instruments. Could he be having a flashback to his time with that man? With Strucker?

“Friday, I need you to create a virtual forest. Trees, mountains, birds, the works. Make this place look less like a lab,” Penny murmured, shrugging out of her lab coat before making her way toward Bucky.

Within moments the white walls of the circular room disappeared, replaced by a mountain scene with trees and the sound of flowing water. The white floor vanished and became grass. There was nothing she could do about her workstation or the chair in the center, but already Bucky’s breathing was steadying.

Ninety percent of her lab was virtual, allowing for her to work on multiple projects at the same time, thus her ability to turn the surroundings into anything she wanted. An old episode of Star Trek had given her the idea and she’d invented something similar to the holodeck.

“James,” Penny murmured, “you’re okay. You’re safe here.” She walked toward him with her hands up and out in front of her. His eyes flicked to her, but there was no recognition in them. “Bucky. Bucky it’s Penny. You’re alright.” She made to lay her hands on his chest only to find herself swung around and pinned to the wall by his massive frame.

“Kto ty?” he muttered.

Her Russian was rusty but _who are you_ still took her by surprise. “YA tvoy drug.” _I’m your friend_. “Ty znayesh' menya, James.” _You know me, James._

He frowned, his blue eyes a hard steel grey. Then, he ducked his head and dragged his nose up the side of her neck. A rumble of sound vibrated his chest against her breasts and Penny fought not to moan when the sensation flooded her.

“Sanshayn, persiki i vanil',” he murmured, his nose running the length of her jaw. _Sunshine, peaches, and vanilla._ “YA znayu etot zapakh.” _I know that smell_. He lifted his head. “I know you…” he murmured.

Blue slowly returned to bleed out the grey in his eyes. “Yes you do,” Penny whispered. She wiggled her wrist until he released her hand and brought up slowly to lay against his cheek. “You know me, Bucky. Come back now. You’re safe with me.”

Recognition filled his gaze. He stiffened, tried to jerk away, but Penny was quicker, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck to keep him close. “James?”

“Penny… I’m…”

He looked confused and frightened, something she’d never seen before. He’d released her other arm as soon as he’d come back, and she lifted her hand to lay against his jaw. “Bucky, I would never hurt you. You’re safe here. No one will ever make you do anything you don’t want to.”

“Pen,” he sighed and leaned his forehead against hers. “I have… issues with doctors and labs. You caught me off guard with the coat and… then all the white…”

“It’s okay, Buck. You don’t have to explain anything,” she murmured, lightly stroking his cheek.

“After pinning you to the wall and scaring the life outta yah? Yeah, I think I do,” he sighed.

“You didn’t scare me.” He scoffed a snort. “I’m serious! Sure it wasn’t exactly roses and champagne, but I’ve seen PTSD. I’ve worked with Vets who have flashbacks. I’m not some shrinking violet, Buck!”

“I know you ain’t, Pen. I know it.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “We don’t have to do this. We can go.”

He hesitated only a second before closing his arms around her and hugging back. “Might as well get on with it. It’s done now and won’t happen again.”

“Only if you want to,” she insisted.

“You want me in the chair or what?” he huffed, pulling away and heading toward the center of the room.

Penny was quick to wipe away the tear on her cheek before following him. He would take it as pity when it wasn’t. She wished she knew what happened in Russia. Now more than ever, she wanted to know, but if he wasn’t ready, she wouldn’t push him.

“Yes, please. I need you to take your shirt off.”

He glanced her way but said nothing, just shrugged out of his jacket and hit the release for his shoulder harness before starting in on the buttons. Penny made her way back to her work station where she pulled a clear tablet from within a drawer. When she turned to go to Bucky, he was facing away from her, shrugging out of his shirt. His glove was gone, the silver of his metal hand catching the light, but it was the mass of scars appearing at the junction of flesh and metal that had her breath catching.

It was horrible, ugly, and looked terribly angry. Bucky jerked the tank top he was using as an undershirt from his pants and pulled it over his head.

“I told you it wasn’t pretty.”

His voice startled her enough to have Penny jolting and moving toward him. “I’ve seen…” she couldn’t say worse, “as bad before.”

Bucky snorted but settled onto her chair as she began to scan the arm. It was incredibly sophisticated, but she knew that as half the tech was hers. What she wanted to know was why it looked like they’d let a butcher hack him to bits to attach it.

“It was in tatters when they got to it,” he murmured, staring at the walls rather than looking at her. He was focused on the mountain and the forest rather than what she was doing. “But then so was I.”

“You don’t have to tell me, Buck,” Penny offered again, even though she wanted to know.

“I was captured in Russia. Strucker,” he swallowed hard, “got his hooks in me and they decided to take Cap’s best friend and turn him into his worst enemy.”

Penny’s blood ran cold.

“They pumped me full of a crap version of Steve’s serum, then ripped my mind apart. Made me forget everyone and everything I loved. They turned me into an animal. Made me a killer with no conscious. Then set me loose on Steve.” He took a deep breath. “You remember when Steve got hurt? The helicarrier that crashed?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“That was me. I did that. Steve did this trying to get me back.” He shrugged his shoulder.

The tablet fell from her hand to the floor where it shattered. “Steve... almost died.”

“I know,” he sighed, eyes closing in shame.

“He took this off with his shield?”

Bucky shook his head. “In the crash. Steve managed to stop the bleeding. Wanda got me out of my head, but the damage was done.”

Horror filled her. What he must have gone through. What they must have done to his mind to turn him against Steve. The idea of it was… unfathomable.

“Oh, Bucky,” she whispered and laid her hand on his chest. “I’m so sorry.”

“Penny?” He whipped his head back to look at her as the first hot tears fell on his chest. “Don’t! Don’t cry for me, baby girl. I don’t deserve it.”

She shook her head and choked on a sob. “All I could think when Steve got hurt was, where were you? Why weren’t you with him? And all this time you’d been a prisoner!”

“Pen. Darlin’, no.” He sat up and swung his legs toward her. “It was my fault.”

She shook her head. “No. No, it wasn’t. You weren’t you!”

“I killed people, Penelope! People I knew. People I trained! This,” he shrugged his shoulder, “is the least of what I deserved.”

Anger replaced anguish in a heartbeat. “Don’t! Don’t you dare belittle what Steve and the others sacrificed for you! You have nothing to be guilty for. You said it best. They turned you into a weapon and pointed you at Steve. But you were a weapon without will. You were no different than the gun in the hand of the enemy. You can’t fault the gun for how the enemy uses it!”

He blinked up at her in shock. “I’ve… never thought of it that way.”

Penny cupped his face and held his gaze. “I know you, James Barnes. In your right mind, you never would have done anything they wanted you to do. They had to fuck with your head. Torture you. Brainwash you. No one will ever blame you for what happened.” She stroked her thumbs over his stubble. “ _I_ will never blame you for what happened. This,” she looked pointedly at his arm, “only proves how incredibly strong you are. You _survived_. You came back, and now you’re stronger for it. They made you like Steve when no one else could. Sitting on your thumbs when you could be helping take them down isn’t like you at all.”

“And how would you know what I’m like?” he asked, a small smile tugging his lips.

“You run with Steve. He asked you to be here with me. That tells me all I need to know,” Penny murmured before walking across the room to a cabinet that looked like a spruce tree. From inside she pulled a jar.

“What’s that?”

“Cream for the mess they made of your arm,” she muttered, returning to twist the top off and scoop out enough to spread over the mass of scars.

“Smells… interesting.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t whine about flowers. I got tired of medicinal creams smelling like ass or tiger balm.”

“You made this?” He sounded surprised.

“I am a woman of hidden talents,” Penny grumbled, working the cream into the angry red welts. “Friday, show me the damage.”

A hologram lit up over the foot of the table, making her hu in concentration as she continued to massage the scar tissue. “Dammit, Tony. You should have let me do this.”

“Why, what’s wrong?”

Penny shoved the jar into Bucky’s hand and jerked the image toward them. “Nothing really. There’s a few connections which could be cleaner. The attachment site could have been less… messy. All in all, it’s fine, I just could have done a better job.”

“Sure,” Bucky chuckled.

“No really. I have equipment not even Tony knows about, stuff no one in the medical community has ever seen available for use. It’s so advanced and so expensive, it’s unrealistic to produce for retail, but this,” she stroked her fingers over his shoulder, moving from flesh to metal, “would have been a lot less… rough.”

Her gaze drifted from his arm to his eyes, the blue full of something she couldn’t name. Their eyes locked, the air seemed to thicken. Bucky licked his lips and shifted toward her. Then the glass crunched beneath Penny’s feet and the moment shattered.

“I should clean that up,” she murmured, stepping back.

“Did you get what you wanted?”

Penny wasn’t sure how to answer that question. Yes, everything she’d wanted to know about his arm was now in her database, but she’d also got more than she’d bargained for with his explanation. “What I needed, yeah.”

“So now you’ll need a new excuse to get me out of my shirt.”

“What!” Penny snapped her head up only to watch him tip his head back and laugh. “You ass,” she chuckled.

“Come on, you know you enjoyed it a little.”

He was still sitting there without his shirt, so she let her gaze wander his well-defined chest and lifted her hand to tap a finger on her lips. “I’ve seen better.”

He rolled his eyes. “Steve doesn’t count.”

Penny burst out laughing and went to get the garbage can while Bucky grudgingly put his shirt back on.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: language, angst, dark themes - discussion of sexual assault

## Chapter Eight

* * *

Penny was in the middle of washing the dishes after dinner when the house phone rang. She exchanged a look with Bucky, knowing it would be security announcing a visitor. If it were Steve, he would just come up, and no one else was scheduled to visit.

At least tonight she’d gotten the chance to eat the spaghetti before being interrupted. They’d managed to have an enjoyable dinner in which they’d discussed a few of her projects in greater detail without snapping, snarling, or yelling at each other.

She was pleasantly full. In fact, she’d eaten more today than she usually did in three days. Barnes was obsessed with stuffing food in her face and with cutting back her caffeine intake. She’d reached for her fifth cup of coffee when they’d returned from the lab, only to be handed a cup of tea instead. As she’d been on the phone with the Head of Oncology at Johns Hopkins, she hadn’t the ability to bitch Barnes out, ending up drinking the surprisingly tasty tea.

By six he’d been dragging her to her feet, refusing to let her stay longer her first day back, and hustled her out the door, down the elevator, and into the car even as she protested she still had work to do. He’d ignored her, and by the time they got to the parking garage beneath her apartment, Penny had been dozing off in the back seat. 

When Bucky had smirked at her standing in the open car door, Penny had just rolled her eyes and shooed him out of the way, deciding a bath was on the docket for tonight after dinner. She hadn’t realized he’d saved the pasta from the night before, but he’d muttered about waste not want not something she remembered his mother saying, and gone to heat them both plates while she’d changed out of her work clothes.

Bucky’s suit jacket hung on the back of one of the bar stools along with his shoulder harness. He hadn’t bothered to change himself yet, though his sleeves were rolled to the elbows as he’d been helping dry the dishes. When he answered the house phone, it was with a blunt, “Yes?”

Penny watched his face harden and pulled the plug on the sink. She’d put on leggings and a tank top, adding thick socks and a warm wool cardigan she wrapped tighter around herself.

“I don’t give a flying fuck what he’s insisting,” Bucky growled. “The answer is no.”

“Bucky?” she murmured, stepping closer. He mouthed the words, _call your lawyer,_ and caused her heart to kick erratically when she scrambled for her phone.

“Tell Detective McGilvery he can cool his heels in the lobby until Miss Rogers lawyer arrives and ride up with her.” He hung up before the guard could respond and looked pointedly at Penny.

“Tamara? I’m sorry to call you so late, but the Detective from earlier is in my lobby. Alright, I’ll see you soon.” Penny hung up and placed her phone on the island before gripping her elbows. “What do we tell him?”

Bucky moved around the counter to stand before her and gently rub her upper arms. “The truth. You went down to get in your car. It blew up, and in the process of getting to your panic room to wait for Steve, the guard shot at you, and the men were already waiting when you got upstairs.”

“And if he asks about why?”

“You tell the truth. You don’t know why,” Bucky said, drawing her in for a hug. “I’m right here, Pen. If he gets out of line, I’ll kick his ass out of here.”

She leaned into him, finding his warmth so comforting, and wrapped her arms around his waist. It was ridiculously easy to accept his help. It was even easier to rest her forehead against his throat and breathe his scent, something musky with a hint of citrus. Bucky’s hand gently stroked her hair, his fingers tangling and carding, working through the loose curls she’d released from her ponytail earlier.

“Maybe it’s weird, but I liked having you around today,” she admitted.

“It was… enlightening,” Bucky chuckled. “You’re so damn smart, Pen. I can see why Steve brags so much.”

Penny lifted her head and smirked up at him. “I thought you didn’t pay attention?”

Something flared to life in his eyes, and his hand closed in her hair. “Some things stuck,” he murmured.

His metal hand ever so gently cupped her cheek. His thumb swept over her lip and paused in the center. He tugged it down, rubbing a little. It made Penny’s heart skip and the breath catch in her lungs. His gaze jumped from her lips to her eyes, and Penny could feel her cheeks warm at his look of appreciation.

“You sure grew up pretty, Pen,” he said softly. “One gorgeous dame.”

_You sure grew up pretty_ … The words sent a shiver of memory through her which seemed to echo in her head. Terror streaked down her spine, and she ripped herself away from Bucky, her hand flying to her mouth as bile rose up her throat when she almost lost the dinner she’d just eaten.

“Penny?” Bucky’s voice rose with concern. “Baby what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she croaked. When he tried to touch her, she skittered out from under his hands. “Don’t touch me!”

“Penny.” Bucky held his hands up and out, not touching her but not allowing her to move away from where he cornered her against the kitchen island. “I’m not going to hurt you. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s nothing. It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “I’m fine.”

“Pen,” he murmured, sliding closer. “It does matter.”

It couldn’t. She’d buried the memories of that time so deep she’d thought she’d gotten rid of them. Now, with a single simple utterance, they were pounding at her, wanting out, shaking the very foundations of everything she’d done to make herself immune to them. “I can’t. I can’t, Bucky. Don’t make me do it,” she whimpered, his face seeming to rise out of the dark in her mind.

Penny squeezed her eyes tightly closed, fighting with every ounce of her being to shut it out. To shut _him_ out. Bucky’s arms wrapped around her and Penny cried out, jerking against him when he wouldn’t let go.

***

“It’s okay, Pen. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I swear. Just breathe, baby. You’re gonna have a panic attack if you don’t.”

She went limp, unable to fight him and the memories at the same time. When Bucky lifted her up, she wrapped herself around him like a snake and held on until he deposited her on the dark grey sofa in the living room and dragged the white throw from the back to tuck around her.

He didn't know what the trigger had been, but he knew fear when he saw it. This wasn't from her recent trauma. This was old, deeply buried, and painful. A wound she hid that had festered. Once she was covered beneath the heavy blanket, Bucky gently collected her hands.

“Penny.” He didn't know what to say.

She shook her head. “Don't, James.”

“Look, doll, I won't push,” not yet anyway, “but have you talked to someone about this?”

She sighed and looked away. “It was a long time ago. I thought I'd gotten past it.”

Shame filled her face. Embarrassment followed. Bucky prayed as he hadn't in years that what he suspected was wrong, but he’d seen enough faces of abuse to recognize it. To find it on hers, on Penelope's, broke something inside him.

Nat’s voice whispered in his mind. _You weren't the cause, but you made her choice easier._

“My God, Pen. My God,” he whispered, horrified as moments from that night began to click together in his mind.

“Don't. Please, James. Not now,” she whimpered.

He dropped his head to her thigh and breathed through his mouth until the shaking stopped. They were about to have unwelcome guests. Being this out of control could be dangerous.

The light touch of her hand in his hair nearly broke him all over again. “I could really use a stiff drink, Buck,” she said softly.

He lifted his head to look at her. The sad smile shattered his heart. But then she cupped his cheek.

“It’s okay, Buck.”

No, it wasn't, but she was trying to pull herself together, and he rose to stand on weak legs, and stumble his way to the brass and glass cart near the fireplace where he poured three fingers of scotch for her, and an entire tumbler for himself. He drank half of it before returning to her side.

She took the glass but gripped his hand before he could walk away. “Don’t blame yourself.”

“Why shouldn't I?”

“Because none of it was your fault,” she sighed, appearing small and fragile.

He threw the rest of the scotch down his throat relishing the burn which dried the threatening tears but didn't let go of her hand. “Steve doesn't know, does he?”

“No.”

“Does anyone?”

She pressed the tumbler to her cheek. “Becca.”

He ground his teeth together and put the glass down before he broke it. “I'm sorry, Pen.”

“I know.”

She didn't look up but didn't release his hand either. That single point of contact was the only thing keeping him steady in his suddenly upside down world. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her close. Comfort her like he should have all those years ago. Shame made him sick to his stomach for how he'd treated her that night. It rolled in his gut.

He wanted to ask. It was worse not knowing the extent of how badly he’d missed the signs. There he was, jealous, angry, thinking she'd let someone paw at her, only to find out-

He slammed the brakes on that train of thought when the sound of the elevator starting its ascent dinged through the main floor of the apartment.

“We’ve got this,” she assured him, looking a little steadier than she had, though the erratic tripping of her heart concerned him.

“Take deep breaths, Pen,” he murmured, releasing her fingers to stride up the few steps from her sunken living area and cross the floor to wait arms crossed before the elevator.

No wonder she didn't date. She didn't trust men.

When Bucky caught a glimpse of himself in the polished doors, he thrust a hand through his hair and quickly rolled down his sleeves. He had his glove out and on, and a semblance of control returned to his face before the doors opened.

Detective McGilvrey was, according to his record, a good cop. But even good cops on paper could be bad guys. Bucky didn't trust his squeaky clean record.

When the second ding announced the arrival of the elevator, he slipped his right hand to the small of his back and gripped the Glock tucked there.

Tamara burst forth, paused, her eyes darting over him, before stepping around Bucky to head for the living room. It was clear she'd come from some class as her hair was tied up, her clothes were leggings and a tank top over a colourful sports bra beneath a warm coat, and the sky-high heels from earlier were now running shoes.

“Miss Smith,” he nodded to Tamara.

“Sergeant Barnes,” she said, her eyes sharp and face pinched. Evidently, her ride up in the elevator hadn't been a pleasant one with the detective for company.

“McGilvery,” he growled at the man. “Miss Rogers has had a long day. Make it quick and watch yourself our I'll be seeing you out of the building.”

“Why do I feel like, “The fast way,” should be tacked onto that statement,” he muttered, indicating the glass windows and balcony with a jerk of his chin.

A slow smile spread over Bucky's mouth when he stepped out of the way and motioned the man to proceed him, his right hand still gripping his gun. “Take it whatever way you want.”

McGilvery's shoes clicked on the floors, and Bucky smirked when the detective became aware his did not. The man's shoulders tightened and rose an inch before he forced them to relax, but Bucky could see the way the hair on the back of his neck stood up.

“You ex-military?” McGilvery asked.

“When is anyone ever _ex_ -military?” Bucky murmured.

“Marines, two tours in Afghanistan. You?”

“You think I'm stupid, Detective? You know who I am,” Bucky chuckled.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. I'm a fan. Never thought I'd come face to face with James Barnes when I went to speak with Miss Rogers.”

“Hoping for Steve?” Bucky asked.

“Miss Romanoff actually.”

Bucky snorted. “The Widow would eat you alive.”

McGilvery shot him a look and a wry smile. “Would you think less of me if that was what I was hoping for?”

A chuckle escaped him. The guy was charismatic when he wanted to be; Bucky would give him that. It wasn't hard to see Penny's blonde head where she was propped in the corner of the couch in her wide open floor plan, and Bucky followed McGilvery into the living room where Tamara had taken a seat beside Penny. Bucky stopped at Penny's side and laid his hand gently on her shoulder.

“Miss Rogers, thank you for seeing me. It's rather difficult to get past all your defences,” McGilvery said, taking a seat across the coffee table from her.

“Not difficult enough,” Penny murmured, sipping from her cup.

“I know you've been through a trying time. I'll make this quick and painless,” McGilvery said with a smile.

Penny shuddered beneath Bucky's hand. “I'd appreciate you getting on with it then, Detective instead of repeating the words my assailant used to see if you can get a reaction.”

“Ask your questions, Detective,” Tamara said sharply.

“Nate, please ladies. No need for formalities. After all, it's not as if Miss Rogers had anything to do with her assault.” He looked straight at Penny.

“Why would I?” Penny snapped.

“Just what are you implying, Detective? That my client hired those people? For what purpose?” Tamara demanded.

“People have done stranger things for publicity, or to cover up something else. After all, you've got that nasty company audit coming up. What better way to push it back then an attack on the owner.”

Penny stiffened. “What?”

McGilvery smirked. “Come now, Miss Rogers. Don't play innocent. Your capital gains and losses are off the charts. And with the rumours you'll be going public in the next year swirling, it was bound to happen that the IRS would be sticking their nose in.”

“Bucky, I need my phone,” she breathed on a rush of air.

Though he didn't like leaving her, it wasn't far from the kitchen, and he could see all the players easily enough. When he returned with it, no one had moved or spoken. Penny took it from him, dialled a preset number, clicked the speaker button, and set it on the coffee table in front of her.

It rang five times before he picked it up. “Penny, dear! How are you?” From the sound of the background noise, the man was partying rather hard.

“Cut the crap, Marcus!” Penny snapped. “Am I being audited?”

Silence, then the background noise faded as a door clicked shut. “Look, Penny…”

“Son of a bitch, Marcus! Why didn't you tell me?” she exploded.

“It was your first day back!” he whined.

“Marcus, don’t! From the sounds of it, this isn't something you _just_ found out about! Why didn't you tell me before?”

“It's fine, Penny. I've got it under control.”

“You'd better,” she snarled and hung up, an unholy fire blazing in her eyes. “As you can see, Detective, I have only just been made aware of this. And as my brother has already stated, the attack on me had to do with getting back at him.”

“With an inside twist,” McGilvery said. “After all, your building has more security than most in the city. They had to have help getting in.”

“The new higher security guard was the source of that, Detective, as you should also know,” Tamara snapped. “My client had nothing to do with what's happened.”

“What were they after, Penelope? What were they looking for in your office?” McGilvery pressed, leaning forward.

“I don't know!” Penny said, slamming her glass down on the coffee table.

“This interview is over,” Bucky stated coldly, motion for McGilvery to stand up.

“This had nothing to do with your brother, did it? We can't protect you if you don't coopera-"

McGilvery never got to finish his sentence when Bucky wrapped his gloved hand around the man's throat, thumb and forefinger squeezing his jawbone hard enough to make it clear Bucky could and would break it to shut him up, and lifted the large man with minimal effort to his feet.

“I said you're done. Time to go.” He jerked the detective around and gave him a shove which sent him stumbling toward the stairs.

“I could have you arrested for assaulting an officer!” McGilvery snarled.

“You could try,” Bucky smiled darkly. “But then, I outrank you, _Detective_. So you go ahead. Let's see what happens.”

McGilvery ground his teeth together and stormed for the elevator. When the doors opened, Bucky reached around and pounded the button for the lobby.

“This isn't over,” Nate stated as the doors began to close.

Bucky caught them before they could. “You just came into Penelope Rogers home and harassed her. Yeah, Detective, it is. And when I explain this fucking shit show to her brother and just how upset she was by it, boy, you'll be lucky to keep your badge.” Bucky let the doors go on McGilvery's pale face.

Penny was speaking quietly with Tamara when he returned. “Did you know?”

“Penny, I didn't. I swear. I don't know why he didn't contact legal as soon as the notice arrived.” Tamara fidgeted with her shirt. “Marcus has been… distant lately.”

“Distant?” Penny frowned. “How?”

“Whispered conversations. Late night texts. He disappears for hours and won't tell me where he's gone. Penny, I know I'm not exactly an _attentive_ girlfriend being busy with my firm, but I thought… we were happy. Now? I don't know,” she shrugged.

“Oh, Tam.” Penny threw her arms around the woman. “I'm so sorry. I haven't exactly been the best friend these last few years, have I?”

“We’re all busy now, but I do miss Friday night drinks,” Tamara sighed, hugging her back.

“We’re going to try harder,” Penny announced.

“I'm in!” Tamara laughed. “Ugh, but not tonight. I smell like spin class.”

Penny’s nose wrinkled. “Maybe a little.”

“Wow,” Tamara smirked. “Kick a girl when she's down. And in front of hot bodyguard. Some friend you are.”

A snort left Penny when she turned to look at Bucky, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “He's not that hot. I've seen better.”

“Your pretty boy brother doesn't count,” Bucky groused, causing both women to laugh.

***

Later, after Tamara and Penny had spent another hour visiting and regaling Bucky with stories of their university adventures, he showed Tamara to the elevator.

“Sergeant?” she said softly, her hand hovering over the button for the lobby. “Take care of her. She acts tough, but she's more fragile than people know.”

“She's stronger than you think, Miss Smith.”

“Even strong people can break under this kind of stress. She's terrible at needing people. I think she's going to need you, and not just for protection.”

Tamara’s dark eyes locked with his as the elevator doors closed. Something in them warned him to heed her request.

Bucky turned around to find the living room empty and sighed, wondering if Penny had gone to bed. He had questions. Lots of questions. Was he ever going to get answers? Then the light clicked on in her office, and he headed down the hall.

Penny was talking to her AI when he arrived in the doorway. “Friday, you remember those numbers you said were funky in the last round of financials Marcus sent us?”

“Of course, Penny.”

“It’s time to take a closer look,” she all but growled. “Full scan. In-depth. Dig deep, girl.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Friday murmured.

“How can I help?” Bucky asked, striding into the room.

“Coffee?” she said, glancing his way.

“You won’t sleep tonight,” he murmured.

“I won’t be sleeping anyway.” She stood to her full height, the look on her face the bone-chilling one of the Ice Queen. “The only reason I can think of for him not telling me about this when it happened? Marcus has been cooking my books. My books! Dammit!” She brought her fist down on the desk hard enough it had to hurt.

“Pen, if he has you’ll find it,” he said, striding forward to collect her hands before she could do herself further damage.

“Why, though?” she asked, suddenly sounding lost and confused along with angry. “He’s paid better than anyone else on staff. The man makes seven figures a year! There’s no reason to steal from me. And these rumours about going public? That’s the second time I’ve heard it today! What the hell is going on in my company?”

“Baby,” Bucky murmured, releasing her hands to frame her face. The hurt in her eyes gutted him. “People steal for any number of reasons, but if he was embezzling from your company, and he thought killing you would give him control and get the government off his back, allowing him the time to take the company public and replace the funds he’d stolen… Penny, that’s motive.”

She inhaled sharply.

“Now,” he murmured, gently massaging the tight muscles of her neck. “You run the numbers. I’m going to work a deep dive into Marcus’s background. I already skimmed the surface today, but I’ll look deeper and see what I can find.”

“Okay.” She closed her eyes and exhaled hard. Her shoulders slumped right before her forehead landed on his chest. “I hate all of this.”

“I know, Pen. I know,” Bucky murmured, hugging her carefully. “I’ll make the coffee.” He patted her back and headed for the kitchen.

***

Hours later, Bucky had a sick feeling in his stomach when he set his tablet down and looked at Penny dozing off at her desk. He had more questions then he did answers, but one thing had become glaringly apparent.

Taft had ties to Hydra.

Penny’s eyes closed and stayed that way. Her breathing deepened, and Bucky stood slowly to his feet. He may have made the coffee, but he hadn’t promised to make it caffeinated. He preferred tea anyway. Too many cups of coffee and he was jittering, on edge, and surly. Tea had a much more soothing effect and didn’t make him jumpy.

“Friday,” he murmured, still watching Penny.

“Yes, Sergeant?”

“How bad is it?” he asked.

“I’m still compiling the data,” she said.

“Guess.”

She was quiet for a moment before a sound like a sigh registered. “I have looked at the last five years of financials from Mr. Taft. All five years show discrepancies. The information Penny has been given does not correlate with what has been coming in and going out from the different departments. I have also found two departments which do not exist. One has money being syphoned into it. The other has money going out.”

“Are you saying someone is washing their money through Penny’s company?”

“It appears so,” Friday murmured. “But the money going out is higher than what is coming in. So far, thirty million is missing.”

“Son of a bitch!” Bucky hissed.

“And I am not yet finished. Penny has had this company for ten years. If Taft has been doing this since the beginning, it will be higher.”

Bucky scrubbed his hand over his face. “Fuck. Can you follow the money? See where it is going?”

“I already have. It is routed many times into offshore accounts, and while I am talented, I am not Jarvis. I do not have the ability to slip past their firewalls to see where it has gone.”

“You’re saying Stark’s AI could get us all the way to the end point?”

“It is highly probable,” she agreed.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and made the call, unsurprised when Stark answered the phone at three in the morning.

“Tinman, what do you want? It better not be that arm. It was perfect when you left.”

Bucky snorted at that after what Penny had to say about it earlier. “Hardly, Stark. I need your AI.”

Tony remained silent for a moment before muttering, “He’s already in the vehicle. What more could you need?”

“Friday says Jarvis can do what she can’t. I need your AI to follow the money.”

“Money?” Tony asked.

“Yeah, money. And before you ask, no, I won’t tell you what money. Let’s just say it has to do with Penny and why she was attacked. Can I borrow him or not?”

“Barnes, Jarvis isn’t I toy I can lend you, you can hand back when you’re done. Once he’s in the system, he’s in. You can’t limit what he does and what he knows.”

“Friday?” Bucky murmured. “Thoughts?”

“Perhaps… Jarvis could teach me what I need to know to be of better assistance to Penny? I would appreciate the company,” she said softly.

“Who the hell is Friday?” Stark asked.

“Penny’s Jarvis,” Bucky muttered. “Do it.”

“I’ll email you a link. Open it and set your phone on Penelope’s desk.”

Stark hung up, and a second later Bucky’s phone chimed with the email. “You sure about this, Friday?”

“No, but I need the assistance,” she admitted.

Bucky took a deep breath, shot a glance at Penny, and blew it out. “She’s gonna skin me, I just know it.” Still, he tapped the link and laid his phone on her desk before moving to her side and lifting her from her chair.

She mumbled something unintelligible and curled into him trustingly. Bucky’s heart lurched. Her trust after what he’d learned today was humbling, and while he wanted answers, tonight wasn’t the time to ask for them. But he vowed to be more careful with her.

Striding from the room, Bucky took her up the stairs two at a time. She was too light to his mind, and even at rest, he could hear the strange fluttering of her heart. It didn’t beat as it should but skipped and jumped around. The sound was odd, but he pushed aside for later contemplation.

He took her to her bed and laid her down, gently removing her sweater and socks before covering her with the throw from the foot of her bed. It was a moment of deja vu, but this time he sat on the edge of it and brushed her hair from her cheek. Her face was soft in sleep; her long lashes pillowed on her cheeks. She was beautiful no matter how he looked at her, but now she looked fragile and so very innocent.

Guilt soured his stomach again. “I’m sorry, Pen,” he whispered. “Sorry for not seeing it then. So damn sorry for how I acted. I was a stupid, jealous idiot. I thought… it doesn’t matter what I thought. I should never have done what I did when you were upset.”

She surprised him when she rolled over and looked at him, her blue eyes dark with memories. “I had such a crush on you.”

Bucky looked away, more guilt weighing on him. “I was immature and stupid.”

“I wanted to hate you. I did for a while.”

“Will you tell me what happened?” he asked, his voice breaking.

This time she looked away. Then she sat up, pulled her knees to her chest, and set her chin on them. “Becca and I went to that party. I was feeling pretty good what with being newly seventeen and having finally caught the notice of James Barnes. I think I was living on a virtual high with how giddy spending time with you made me feel,” she smirked a little, then sighed. “Marcy’s parents were out of town, and by the time we got there, the party was huge. Becca was seeing Kevin at the time and ditched me as soon as she found him, but I was used to it. I love her, but the girl was boy crazy. I went and got a drink and hung out with some other friends, then…” she hesitated, her breath catching, “this guy came up and started talking to me.”

“Did you know him?” Bucky asked, wondering if she went to school with them.

Penny shook her head. “He was older than me. Some friend of a friend’s brother or something.” She closed her eyes and set her cheek on her knee; her face turned toward him. “He offered to get me a drink.”

His heart dropped into his stomach. “Pen.”

“The stupid thing is, I knew better, but I thought that could never happen to me. I kept thinking that right up until I came to with him on top of me.” Tears filled her voice, hoarse and torn enough to make Bucky’s ache in sympathy. “I didn’t know him, but he knew me. He said, “I sure grew up pretty,” and thanked me for the fuck. I was so horrified and disgusted both with him and myself I threw up over the side of the bed. It freaked him out, and he got off of me, threw out the condom he’d used, got dressed and left. For a moment, all I could think was, “Thank God he used protection.’”

“Penny.” Hearing it was like being stabbed with a knife to the heart over and over.

“I tore my shirt getting dressed I was in such a hurry to get the hell out of there, but I could taste him in my mouth.” She gave a silent gasp, tears escaping past her closed lids. “I don’t even know what he did. I hurt... everywhere, but he’d been in my mouth…”

Bucky wanted to reach out and hold her but was afraid to touch her until she groped for his hand.

“So I stopped in the kitchen and grabbed a can of beer, but I was shaking so hard I spilled it on myself. I drank half of it before I couldn’t taste him anymore and then left, running home to hide in the treehouse.”

“Where I showed up and…” Bucky couldn’t finish. “God, Pen.” The tears he’d been fighting spilled down his cheeks. “I’m the biggest jerk.”

She squeezed his hand. “You didn’t know. I was too numb and too sick and embarrassed and horrified to be able to express myself. I could hardly admit it to myself, let alone tell you. God!” She gave a choked laugh. “I was terrified to tell anyone. So scared you’d be as disgusted with me as I was with myself.”

“Jesus, Penny! Of course not! Fuck, if Steve and I had known, we would have hunted that fucker down and-” He cut himself off from finishing with _castrated him._

“Made him eat his own balls?” she murmured, her ocean eyes peering out at him from behind her wet lashes.

“Something like that, yeah,” he murmured. “You know not every man is like that.”

She gave a tired sigh. “I know that in theory, but then I met Aaron in Uni.”

His blood froze. Not twice. If she said it happened twice, he was going to lose his mind.

“It’s not what you think,” she murmured, evidently seeing the panic on his face. “We dated, but I couldn’t… when things would get physical, I got…” Red filled her cheeks as she turned her face away. “I don’t even remember what happened thanks to the drugs, but I just… just couldn’t. And he was okay with it. He didn’t push me for sex. I was so thankful until I realized he was using me. He stole one of my very first designs and tried to pass it off as his own. Thankfully I had the documents and things to back up my claim, but when I confronted him about it and asked him if anything about our relationship was real,” she pressed her forehead to her knees, “he laughed,” Penny whispered. “Laughed and called me frigid. He and his buddies had quite the chuckle over the whole thing.”

“Christ!” Bucky hissed.

“I got the last laugh when I had him arrested for theft, and then turned around and sold my invention for fifty thousand.”

“Dollars!” Bucky barked.

Penny chuckled. “Yeah. Dollars.” She leaned toward him and rested her head on his shoulder. “After Aaron, I gave up on men. What was the point when they just kept taking things from me? The only one I could trust to have my back was Steve, and you were right about one thing. There’s no one like him, and few people can live up to his standards. Now with what Marcus is probably doing, it looks like my luck with men is holding.”

She gave a defeated sigh and Bucky wrapped his arm around her. “I’m real sorry, Pen. I should never have said what I did. It was mean, and I was jealous.”

“Jealous?” she whispered. “Why?”

“I thought…” He couldn’t say it, not after what she’d just told him. “I was mad because… _fuck_! I was twenty-four, and so fucking attracted to you — my best friend’s seventeen-year-old sister. You were so sweet and good and lovely. Looking at you helped me forget some of the less tenable parts of what Steve and I were being asked to do. The idea you’d… been with someone else, I was hurt and jealous and said foolish things.”

She lifted her head to look at him, surprise in her eyes. “You… you wanted me?”

“Yeah, Pen. I wanted you.”

“I so badly wanted you to kiss me on my birthday,” she whispered. “Then when you did after what happened… all I could think was, “If you knew what had just happened, you’d be so disgusted by me.” I didn’t even know what he’d done, and your mouth was on mine. Then you said what you did, and it was everything I felt about myself at that moment.”

“Baby girl,” Bucky gently cupped her chin in his hand. “I could never be disgusted with you. Nothing that happened was your fault. You know that right?”

“I knew better than to take that drink,” she whispered, her eyes haunted.

“He chose to drug you. He’s the one who-” Bucky swallowed the bile in his throat, “raped you. None of that is on you, Pen.”

She sighed and closed her eyes. “I know that, but I still feel… dirty. It’s been years, but I can’t shake the feeling. Sometimes I feel like I’m cursed to be disappointed in men. Steve’s so… good. It’s like he’s all the good I’m allowed to have.”

“That’s not true, Pen. You can’t think like that!” he insisted, pulling her closer until they were hip to hip, her hand linked with his, the other curled against his chest. “There are good guys out there besides Steve.” He shifted his metal hand to the back of her neck and drew her up out of her hunched position. “There are other guys you can trust to have your back. Like me.”

“James,” she whispered, her hand gliding up to rest against his neck; her thumb skimmed the edge of his jaw, back and forth over his stubble.

“Penny, baby girl,” he swallowed thickly. “Can I tell you something?”

“Considering everything I just told you?” She gave a wry smile. “Yeah, Bucky. Anything.”

His gaze drifted down to her lips, plump and pink and parted before lifting to lock with her eyes. The ocean blue was mesmerizing, deep and dark and mysterious like the sea itself. “I wanted to kiss you on your birthday, too.”

Her breath shuddered out, and her gaze dropped to his lips. “I wish you had.”

“I would have done it so differently,” he murmured, her thumb continuing to gently stroke his jaw.

“How?” she whispered.

“Softer, gentler. Sweet like you.”

Her hand skimmed slowly forward until her thumb rubbed over his lower lip. “You were my first.”

He groaned and let his forehead rest against hers. “Damn, Pen. Now I really feel like shit.”

“Then… um…” She cleared her throat and looked away. “Maybe we could have a do-over?”

“Is that what you want?” he asked, his heart jumping to his throat. 

Her lashes lifted slowly to reveal the uncertainty but also the tentative hope in her eyes. “It would be nice to have one from someone who wanted to, and who didn’t want to take something from me in return,” she whispered.

“Baby, are you sure?”

She pulled away. “If you don’t want to, Bucky just say so.”

Bucky tugged her back. “I didn’t say that, darlin’. Not at all. You’ve just told me some pretty emotional stuff. I don’t want to take advantage here.”

“You’re not,” she said, slowly shaking her head. “You won’t be.”

He lightly stroked her spine. “A do-over, huh?”

“Please?”

“Baby girl, that was real sweet,” he sighed, a smile twitching his lips. “Should I show you how it should have been? Your first kiss.”

“Please, James,” she purred, carding her fingers through his hair.

“Damn,” he smirked. “That’s real nice.” His hand tightened gently in Penny’s hair and pulled to tilt her chin up. He took his time bringing their mouths together, watching desire swim in her ocean blues. Their noses brushed, bumped, and rubbed together as he teased her a little, his upper lip ever so lightly skimming hers until a quiet whimper left her. Only then did he take her lips, her sweet, soft lips in a tender kiss. The kind of kiss that lingered. The kind of first kiss she deserved. The kind that smouldered instead of burned.

Her lips parted on a gentle sigh. Bucky couldn’t help but flick his tongue over the bottom one. Penny’s arm went around his neck as he lifted her to his thigh. The taste of her was like candy, sweet and sinful when her tongue tangled with his. She moaned and he echoed it, deciding kissing her was a bad idea. Penny was addictive. He was never going to get enough.

Penny pulled slowly back, her lips clinging to his until the last possible second. Her quiet sigh was nearly his undoing, so he drew her down and kissed her again. It was just as soft and sweet, just as tender until she sank her teeth into his lower lip and nibbled.

“Penny,” Bucky groaned.

She smiled when she lifted her head and ran her fingers through his hair. “Thank you, James.”

“Any time, baby girl,” he murmured. “Any time.”

She rested her head on his shoulder, and Bucky held her close. It was comfortable, and though he still felt terrible about how he’d treated her and what she’d gone through, he thought maybe they’d found a place to start from again. If she could trust him, he would do his best to help her heal the worst of her wounds.

Bucky tucked his nose down in her hair and breathed in the scent of peaches and vanilla. The smell made him smile even as her trauma made his heart ache.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Fluff, Violence, Angst

## Chapter Nine

* * *

Penny woke up warm and rested. Her body was soft, lax, and she felt better than she had in months. When the quiet snore came from the chest beneath her ear, she smiled. It wasn’t the first time she’d cuddle up on Steve, but when she lifted her head, it wasn’t her clean shaven blond brother whose body she’d been resting against, but a scruffy-faced brunette.

The night before came flooding back and caused her heart to kick once hard before she closed her eyes and fought down the wave of angry nausea. The attack, Marcus, what she’d revealed to Bucky, all of it made her feel weak and tired, two things she couldn’t afford right now.

“Hey, dollface.”

She opened her eyes to peer at Bucky, a smile curling his lips.

His fingers lightly stroked the length of her spine. “Sorry about crashing on your bed. Must have dozed off.”

“It’s fine, Buck. I slept better last night than I have in a while,” Penny murmured, pushing off his chest to sit up, finding she’d wrapped her leg over his thigh in the night and it was trapped now between them. It was a rather embarrassing position to be in considering she was practically straddling his leg, but when she made to pull away, he flexed his knees. “James?”

“It’s too early to be up,” he said softly, pressing against her spine to make her sink back against him. “Go back to sleep for a while.”

Penny gave in and let herself return to his shoulder. “Are you trying to mother me after what I told you last night?” she asked, amused by his antics.

“And if I were?”

“I’d say it wasn’t necessary, but it feels nice all the same.”

“Pen,” he sighed and wrapped his arm around her to hold her tight to him.

“You don’t have to say anything, Bucky. I think we got it all out last night.” She threw her arm over his chest. “You and Steve are just so warm. It’s like sleeping with my own personal heater.”

“Happy to oblige,” he chuckled.

“Can I ask a question?” She buried her nose against him. He smelt delicious, just edible, and it stirred a flicker of flame in her belly.

“You just did, but you can ask another if you want.”

“God, you and Steve tell the worst dad jokes!” she snorted out a laugh then sobered. “You said Strucker shot you full of a bastardized form of Steve’s serum.” He went cold and still beside her. “Do you remember much of it? How they did it? Was it like with Steve and the Gamma rays?”

“Why you asking, Pen?”

“Curiosity mostly. Steve’s serum altered his DNA and increased his hormone levels. I’m just wondering if yours was the same. You’ve gotten bigger since I last saw you. Your muscle tone seems denser. You were always smart, but your mind is sharper, and your reflexes are faster like his. I’m just wondering if they used the same process, or if it was different somehow.”

“Pen… I don’t…”

She gently stroked his chest when his breathing accelerated. “It’s fine, Buck. Forget I asked. You don’t have to think about it if you don’t want to.”

He gave a heavy sigh and moved them so quickly she could only give a small _eep_ when he rolled them over so she was on her back and he was propped on an elbow, peering down at her with those grey-blue eyes. His hand lightly rested on her stomach, but his leg had fallen over hers, holding them down with his thick thigh. “It wasn’t the same. No machines but the one they used to wipe my mind. Strucker pumped this blue-green sludge into my veins for three straight weeks. Every day was agony, and when my muscles and bones weren’t aching like someone had worked me over with a bat, my head hurt like it would explode.”

“Bucky.” She reached up and caressed his scruffy cheek.

He grabbed her hand and held it against his face. “I thought about you while I was there.”

“What? Why?” she gasped.

“Because the memory of the day I found you standin’ in Ma’s kitchen looking like an angel with your sunshine hair on your shoulders got me through a lot of long days. It was my best good memory. A little piece of home. Something to keep fighting for. There were a lot of days I really didn’t want to,” he said softly.

“I’m glad you did,” she whispered. “It’s what we do, right? Fight till the end?”

“Til the end of the line,” he murmured. “That’s what Steve said to me. We’ve been saying it for years, but he said it to me on the helicarrier, this man I knew but couldn’t figure out why. “I’m with you til the end of the line, Buck,” and we slammed into the ground.”

Too many memories haunted his eyes, prompting Penny to try and lighten the moment. “You’re just hardwired that way, I think. Maybe us Rogers get in under your skin like a tick you can’t get out,” she chuckled. “When you had your episode in my lab, you said the same thing. You knew me. Knew my scent.”

“Yeah, I do.” He lowered his head slowly and ran his nose along the length of her jaw, nudging gently to get her to turn her head and lift her chin. “Peaches and vanilla. I bought you peaches and vanilla for your birthday. There a reason you still use it, baby girl?” he asked as he buried his nose against her throat and inhaled deeply.

“I like it.” Penny whimpered when his lips skimmed her flesh. The flicker of flame in her belly grew.

“Is that the only reason?” he chuckled, lightly pulling on her earlobe with his teeth.

She bit back a moan and sank her fingers into his hair. “You gave it to me.”

“Pen,” he groaned, letting his forehead rest against her temple. “What are we doin’ here?”

“I don’t know, Buck, but I’d like to find out.” She turned her mouth up to his.

They’d barely skimmed together when the blinds opening startled Penny into pulling away. “What the hell?”

“Good morning, ma’am,” Friday said, her voice chipper. “I’d recommend a warmer outfit today as the forecast is calling for a chance of snow. Your emails have been sorted and categorized, and I’ve drafted responses I think are appropriate, they only need your approval before I send them off. The coffee is brewing, and if you wish, I can start the shower for you and Sergeant Barnes.”

“What the fuck, Friday!” Penny barked. “How the hell…?”

“Good morning, Miss Penelope.”

“Jarvis!” she shrieked. “How the hell are you in my house? What did Tony do?”

“Uh, Pen?” Bucky muttered. “That’s on me.”

“You?” She sat up and glared at him, looking sheepish and far too sexy on her bed. “What the hell did you do, Barnes?”

He flinched. “Pen, Friday needed help to follow the money. You said it yourself. She’s young yet. She thought Jarvis would make a good teacher.”

“And you didn’t think to ask before you allowed Stark’s highly advanced AI access to my files? My business? My _life_!” she screamed.

“If I may interject?” Jarvis asked.

“Not right now!” Penny hollered and swung her legs from the bed to stand up. The action was too fast, and dark spots swam in her vision causing her knees to buckle.

“Penny!” Bucky gasped, grabbing her before she got very far.

Penny waited for her vision to clear and came back to find herself standing between his spread thighs, his hands on her waist while hers tightly gripped his shoulders. “I’m fine.”

“You ain’t fine!” he snapped.

“I had a head rush from standing up too fast! It happens!” She tried to push him away only to be stuck there when his metal arm banned the backs of her thighs.

“Ma’am, if I may interject?” Jarvis murmured again.

“What?” Penny shouted.

“Mr. Stark made it abundantly clear I was not to “poke my nose” where it did not belong. Sergeant Barnes needed my assistance to follow the money, and I have assisted Friday in expanding her pathways. Her capacity for reason and logic are now on par with my own. I have shared much of my experiences with her, making her a capable and fully functional AI. She is now ready to assist you at work.”

Penny blinked rapidly. “Friday?”

“Everything Jarvis has said is true,” Friday said quietly, sounding like a scolded child. “He has not once ventured toward the secure files or servers.”

Rubbing a hand across her forehead, Penny sighed. “Thank you, Jarvis.”

“You are welcome, ma’am. Sergeant, the report is ready whenever you are.”

“Thank you, Jarvis,” Bucky murmured.

“Anytime. I shall return to Mr. Stark now.”

“He’s gone,” Friday said a moment later. “But he left a tether. A way to return if I need assistance or advice.”

“Friday?” Penny murmured. “I’m sorry I yelled.”

“It’s alright, ma’am. Sergeant Barnes asked my opinion on the matter. I suggested Jarvis. He simply contacted Mr. Stark. I’ll start the shower for you.” The water began to run in the bathroom.

“Is everything in your house computerized?” Bucky muttered, leaning over to watch the falling water through the open door.

“Pretty much,” Penny sighed. She brought her balled fist down on Bucky’s shoulder. “You should have asked first!”

“The information is time sensitive. I needed it done ASAP,” Bucky murmured as his thumb found the bottom of her tank top and slipped beneath to lightly skim the bare flesh of her hip. “So, about that shower?”

Penny snorted. “One kiss and you think you’re going to weasel your way into my shower?”

Something in Bucky’s eyes shifted, darkened, hardened. “Pen… I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want. If you tell me to keep my hands to myself, I’ll do it, but if you want something more? I wouldn’t say no.”

She sighed and shifted to sink onto his thigh. “A lot is happening right now, Buck. I’m not sure I can handle one more thing on top of everything else.”

He looked away, nodding slowly. It was ridiculously easy to see his posture change from one of tentative hope into disappointment.

Penny cupped his cheek and turned his face back to hers. “But the one thing I’m absolutely sure of? I like the feel of your hands, James. You touch me and my body does… interesting things. It’s never done that before, not for anyone else.”

“Never?” he asked, a smug tilt coming to his lips.

“Never.” She rolled her eyes. “Now, get out of here so I can get ready. I have three meetings, an ER to open, and who knows how many fires to put out. I want to get a handle on what Marcus is up to, then figure out who the hell I have to talk to in order to get this out in the open and make it clear it had nothing to do with me.” She pushed against him to get him to let her go, but he only held her tighter.

“Kiss me.”

She chuckled but rolled her eyes and kissed him lightly. “Let go.”

“Kiss me like you mean it, and don’t roll your eyes at me or you’re gonna regret it.”

Penny arched a brow. “I can if I damn well please, and you’re wasting water.”

Penelope Grace,” he growled and gripped her chin. “Kiss. Me.”

A thrill of excitement raced through her as her gaze dropped to his lips. She leaned in and brushed their mouths together before slanting hers over his and kissing him with a wealth of pent-up frustration. Her teeth caught his lip and pulled, then nibbled gently. She sucked on his tongue and carded her fingers through his hair. When his arm finally relaxed, she released his mouth and stood to her feet.

“You should go get ready,” she purred, sliding her finger over his lips before sauntering away into the bathroom where she stopped, lifted the hem of her top and pulled it over her head revealing her ice blue lace bra before looking back over her shoulder to see him still sitting on her bed. “Barnes, shower.”

“In a minute,” he growled. “This was just getting good.”

Penny laughed and swung the door shut only to hear, “Spoilsport!” bellowed from the bedroom.

***

Bucky watched her smile and nod as she shook hands with a dozen different people. He’d spent the morning going over the attendee’s of this hospital opening and then coordinated with their security to see only those people he’d okayed were included in the presentation. There were still more than he liked, but it was like she’d said. Penny couldn’t put her life on hold because someone, likely Marcus, had tried to kill her.

While he’d stood in his shower - half hard and aching - he’d asked Friday to give him a rundown on what they’d found with the money. It was as he’d expected. The money was being funnelled back into known Hydra subsidiaries. Without even knowing it, Penny had been funding the enemy for the past ten years. In total, Taft had stolen eighty-two million dollars from Penny.

When he’d returned to her room to tell her, all thoughts fled his brain for Penny had been rolling her stockings up. Sheer nude ones with bands of red lace wrapped high around her thighs. Then she shimmied, wiggled her fantastic little butt as she urged her fitted pink dress down her legs and stepped into another pair of those ankle breaking shoes. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

Hair up in a knot, hoops with crystals dangling from her ears, the high neck, low hemline, and long sleeves should have made her look prudish, but the fit, the way the dress moulded to her, how there were panels along her sides and around her waist with inlays of mesh just made her look so… chic.

She’d looked up and smiled, and Bucky had blurted, “You look like Office Barbie.” Then he’d squeaked, “I mean that in the best way!” before she could get mad, but Penny only giggled and pulled a coat of the same colour from her closet and slung it over her arm.

The coat had remained in the car, giving everyone an enticing view of her behind. A bag the same pale nude colour as her shoes hung from her arm as Penny smiled and laughed at something some pasty dude in a lab coat said. Bucky didn’t like how he was looking at her, but that had little to do with her safety and everything to do with his flirtatious smile.

He took another glance around the room and moved a few steps closer when she walked further into the ER. It was state of the art, designed and paid for by Penelope. Looking at it gave him the willies but only because he didn’t like doctors. Still, the entire place looked like something out of Star Trek. White with low blue lights. Rooms had clear walls which frosted with the flick of a switch. Digital charts floated on the wall just inside the room, and every bed was one of the diagnostic ones Penny had invented, allowing the doctors to see what was happening inside their patient, scan their blood, and check for internal bleeding without ever needing to leave the ER. It truly was incredible what she’d done here.

The ER was the first of its kind, and she’d given it to the hospital she’d spent so many months in all those years ago. The one where she’d lost her parents. The one which was now called The Sarah and Joseph Rogers Memorial ER.

Steve had been slated to be on hand for the opening but had been called away last minute on a mission, leaving Penny to handle the press on her own.

She looked confident and relaxed, at ease in her surroundings. But from the rapid beat of her heart, it was all an act, and when the flirty doc reached out to take her arm, Bucky slipped seamlessly between them. “Miss Rogers, we need to wrap this up.”

“Yes, of course. Thank you, Sergeant,” she smiled up at him. “Doctor Metcalf it was a pleasure speaking with you.”

“About that coffee?” he asked, shooting Bucky a glare.

“Hard pass,” Bucky growled, hustling Penny out of the ER.

“Bucky!” Penny hissed.

“What? You were going to give him some bullshit excuse that wouldn’t dissuade him at all. Then you’d spend the next three weeks to three months dodging his calls, texts, and emails until he got the hint you weren’t interested.”

“Jesus, Buck!” Penny stifled a laugh.

“Tell me I’m wrong,” he smirked.

“I can’t.”

He chuckled and stepped around her to check the exit to the waiting area beyond the ER. It was mostly empty. A few reporters lingered, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He pushed the door open and brought Penny in close. The hair on his neck was itching, standing up like someone had walked on his grave.

Bucky took another hard glance around. Something didn’t feel right, and he pushed Penny back through the door behind her.

“Bucky?”

“I don’t like it,” he murmured, eyes continuing to scan everyone in attendance. “Feels wrong.” Penny fell silent, but he could hear the rapid and unsteady pounding of her heart. “Stay with me,” he said as he turned away from the entrance and led her back into the ER. “Friday, I need eyes.”

The AI had taken over for Jarvis in the car, as well as following them into the hospital riding his phone. A small Bluetooth given to him by Penny allowed him to communicate with the AI without having to pull the device from his pocket.

“You are right. There was two armed personnel in the lobby and another across on the roof. I am moving the vehicle around to the ambulance bay.”

“Run facial recognition,” Bucky murmured. “See if you can get us some names.”

“Bucky?” His name was a whisper laced in fear.

He stopped and pressed Penny into the wall, ignoring the nurses and orderlies frowning at him. “Pen, we’ve got a situation, but it’s under control. Gonna change our exit route. Just stick with me and keep your eyes open.” Her heart gave a funny jump. “Pen, baby girl. I need you to breathe. We’ve got this.”

She gave a short nod. “Let’s get to the vehicle.”

“Dollface,” he murmured low, “I know you can shoot. You need to; there’s a gun at my back. No hesitation, Pen. Understood?”

Her face paled, but her eyes hardened. “Understood.”

“Good girl,” Bucky smirked and took her by the hand. “Still got those flats?”

“Yeah.” She reached for her purse.

“Sergeant!” Friday bellowed.

Bucky’s head snapped up, and the two men from the lobby were coming at them. “Too late now!” he shouted, jerking Penny away from the wall and shoving her behind him.

Three shots rang out, all pinging as he deflected them off his hand and arm while drawing his gun from inside his jacket. The two he fired back made sure neither man would continue to follow them. Screams filled the air. Bucky grabbed Penny by the wrist and ran down the hall with her.

“Turn right,” Friday directed.

He made the turn at a dead run, surprised when Penny not only kept up but did so in those ridiculous shoes.

“Take a left at the end of the hall and straight out the bay doors. The car will be waiting.”

“That a girl, Friday,” Bucky murmured, a smirk curling his lips. No wonder Stark liked his AI so much.

Then Penny gasped and stumbled, and she reached for her chest. The wild tattoo of her heart was all over the place. Bucky didn’t ask, just dragged her forward and up into his arms, but he’d put off asking long enough. They needed to talk about what the fuck was going on with her.

He hit the ambulance bay doors the same time the SUV pulled in. The door swung open, and Bucky thrust them both inside. “Drive!” he barked at Friday who peeled out with a squeal of tires.

“Ma’am, you must slow your breathing,” Friday said as the car made its way out of the hospital and into traffic.

“Breathe, Pen,” he encouraged.

Her lips were blue around the edges, her skin whiter than ever. The blush pink number she was wearing was doing nothing now to add to her skin colour.

“Her heart is working too hard, Sergeant. You must lay her down.”

Both front seats pulled all the way forward with a snap, allowing him to kneel on the floor as he laid Penny on the bench. “Is this a heart attack? Does she need aspirin or something? Friday what the fuck is happening?”

“Miss Rogers is-”

“No!” Penny croaked, hand still pressed to her chest.

Bucky glared at her. “Duchess, if someone doesn’t tell me what the hell is happening, I’m calling Steve and taking you directly to the SHIELD medical facility!”

She flinched and looked away. “I have a heart condition.”

“Since when?” he snapped. “Steve’s never said anything! Hell, if I’d known do you think I would have dragged you through the hospital like that? Or left it! Goddamnit, Penelope!”

“Shut up… Barnes,” she gasped and turned her face away.

There was such a wealth of anguish in her eyes; he bit back his sharp retort. “Penny, sweetheart, what’s going on with you?” he asked as he cupped her cheek and turned her to face him.

Ocean eyes locked with his and two words tumbled from her lips that shattered his heart.

“I’m dying.”

***

Bucky carried her into the house, straight into her office, and sat her with vigour in her office chair. “Talk.”

Once he’d gotten the wind back she’d knocked out of him with her declaration; he’d demanded answers. The how, the why, the when, but Penny had refused to answer any of them until they were home. It was hard enough to explain without pictures, and he would be the first person she’d ever told the truth too.

“Friday,” Penny sighed. “Pull up my scans,” she asked tiredly.

They flickered to life in the room, starting with ones from ten years ago and continuing every year until the last three had become every six months, then three.

“Shortly after I started Marquis I noticed I was having a few problems. Shortness of breath. Difficulty climbing stairs. I brushed it off as too many late nights, and too much stress, not enough exercise, but when it got worse, and I started having chest pain, I decided it was better to run some tests. That’s when I found that.” She motioned to the first image, causing it to enlarge and zoom in.

“Is that… metal?” Bucky murmured.

“It was a shard missed by the hospital. It had been there since the accident but was too small for the current technology to pick up. When I found it, it was lying parallel to the pericardium, the sack around the heart, deteriorating the lining, and was rubbing against the muscle tissue causing the pain. Of course, I had it removed, but when I didn’t start to feel better, only worse, I ran more tests.”

Penny tapped a few keys on her desk, and a news report came up. “This was our accident, mom, dad, and me. Do you see the logo on the truck that hit us?”

Bucky frowned and stepped closer. “Maverick and Sons, yeah. What about it?”

“Maverick and Sons was the name of a biohazard disposal company back in the day when hazardous waste had first become a thing. They weren’t incinerating it. They were burying it.”

His eyes widened in understanding. “They hit you with a truck full of medical waste?”

She nodded. “That piece of metal had been in my body so long, and was so nasty the infection began eating away at my heart. I drew blood, ran tests, but the infection is so prevalent no drug can touch it.” She waved her hand, and the images of her heart overlaid each other one by one. “It grows smaller and weaker every year, and now it’s accelerating. Ironic isn’t it? Someone’s trying to kill me, yet all they needed to do was give me six months.”

He sat down hard in the chair across her desk. “Six? And you haven’t told Steve?”

“I was waiting until I knew there was no hope left.” Penny stood and made her way over to the wall safe hung behind the family portrait and opened it. She returned to lean against her desk and hand him the red case. “This is the only thing that works to counteract the infection. A modified form of Steve’s serum. I made it from a blood sample years ago.”

“Why aren’t you using it then?” he asked angrily.

“I am. I used to get a year out of one dose. Then it was six months. Then three. Now… weeks.” She sighed and hugged her elbows. “It would work to regenerate ninety-five percent of my heart tissue. It’s not working anymore.”

“Jesus H. Fucking Christ, Penelope Grace Rogers!” he shouted as he shoved to his feet and loomed over her. “What the hell are you doing?”

She refused to flinch. “I’m trying to save my life, Buck. No different than you are.”

He stormed away, stormed back. Tossed her meds on her desk and thrust both hands through his hair. “You can’t do this.”

“I don’t exactly have a choice, Bucky,” she sighed, watching him run through all five stages of grief at once.

“You can’t do this, Penny.” He turned on her and took her by the arms. “You can’t. Think of Steve. He’d lose it if he lost you. There has to be something! Some way! Contact Stark! Tell someone, tell everyone! You can’t do this!”

He shook her gently, and Penny reached up to frame his face with both hands. “I’m not giving up, Bucky. I’ll keep fighting, but hope is fading fast.”

“A heart transplant!” he shouted, optimism filling his eyes.

“I tried that. Tested my blood against a tissue sample. The infection is in my body and attacks only my heart. It would just start the process all over with the new heart.”

“Then an artificial one!” he pleaded. “You’ve got lungs, why not a heart?”

“I’m trying, Bucky. It’s one of my projects, but I’m not there yet,” she said sadly. “It’s okay, James,” Penny whispered tears in her eyes. “Steve will be okay. He has you.”

“You don’t know that.” He shook his head, tears streaming down his face. “And I won’t be okay. You can’t do this to me, Pen. Not now. Not after finally finding you again. I can’t lose you.”

His mouth was on hers before she could respond. Frantic. Desperate. Needy. Penny wrapped her arms around his neck and held on, tasting the salt of his tears. When he released her mouth to gasp for air and tucked his face into her throat with a broken sob, all she could do was hold him a little tighter and make a new vow.

“I won’t stop fighting, Buck. I’ll keep looking for a way. I’m going to be with you…” She waited a long time for the whispered response to come, but when it did, fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.

His lips brushed her throat. “Til the end of the line.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Fluff, Bucky being Bucky, smexy

## Chapter Ten

* * *

Bucky shuddered gently against Penny, while his mind whirled with her revelation. "You have to tell Steve.”

"I can't. Not just yet.”

"Penelope Grace," he growled against her neck.

"Bucky. Not just yet. I'll tell him when I've gone through all the options, but until that time, how can I place more stress on him? He's off saving the world. He doesn't need to be thinking about me while he's doing it.”

"Penny…” Bucky sighed and looked at her, but gave up when she gave him the stubborn face.

"I'm not giving up, Buck. I won't. I promise, but I have to do this my way.”

"Stubborn as a mule,” Bucky grumbled, tugging her close so he could rest his cheek on the top of Penny's head.

"Ma'am? Sorry to interrupt,” Friday said into the silence. "The detective is back, and he brought friends.”

Bucky growled a second time against Penny, far more feral and angrier than before. "What kind of _friends_?”

"Special Agent Julie Markov and Special Agent Anthony Barrow of the FBI, and his NYPD Captain, Ryan Harris.”

"Run all three.”

"Bucky.” Penny rested her head on his chest. "I'm too tired and worn out for this.”

"I know, baby girl. You head upstairs and get changed. I'll deal with them until you're ready.” He stroked her hair, then her cheek. “I'll even make you some tea.”

She smiled and nodded. "What will you tell them?”

"As close to the truth as I can. But I think it's better to let SHIELD deal with the money aspect. It's still Hydra. Regular cops aren't equipped to deal with them.

Penny winced. "Um, Buck? We need to talk about the money. I have something to tell you about… all that.”

"Pen?”

"Sergeant? The police are still requesting entrance,” Friday interrupted.

"Did you contact Tamara yet?” he asked, still staring at the fidgeting Penny.

"Miss Smith is on her way. She will be here as soon as she can.”

"Let them up,” Bucky muttered. "Talk fast, Penny.”

"I've been screwing with Hydra's finances for years, so even though they've stolen eighty-two million from me, I've cost them eleven times that much.”

"What!” he shouted.

"Through back channels and anonymous reports to the Attorney General, Miss Rogers has shut down numerous Hydra fronts, false charities, and exposed a number of high powered Hydra supporters. In total, Penelope has removed nine hundred forty-six million, three hundred twenty-seven thousand, four hundred eight dollars and twelve cents from Hydra's coffers,” Friday announced.

"Holy fuck!” Bucky bellowed. " _That's_ motive to kill you, Penny! Why the hell didn't you tell me this earlier?”

"I didn't think it was relevant because they don't know it's me! I swear my trail is untraceable. I've been doing this as long as I've had Marquis, and everything is sent via hardcopy and flash drive to the AG's office. Not even a trace of DNA or a fingerprint left behind. I'm good at this, Bucky. Really good.”

"I want to see it. Your files. Your setup. All of it.”

"It's all in my lab at work.”

"Jesus, Penelope! Anyone could gain access to your damn lab!”

Her hands framed his face. "Shut up for one damn minute and listen!” She waited until he nodded before speaking. "Not my regular lab. My secret lab. The one beneath the building.”

"That's some fucking mad scientist crap, dollface,” he smirked when the shock wore off.

She breathed out a sigh and shot him a wink before returning her satchel of serum to the safe in the wall. “What more would you expect from a literal genius?” she snickered over her shoulder.

“Sergeant Barnes. The police will be arriving in sixty seconds.”

“On it, Friday.” Bucky took one more long look at Penny. “You okay, Pen?”

“Too much exertion today, but I'm steady now. I’ll be fine and down in a few minutes. Don’t shoot anyone unless you have too.”

He beat her to the doorway and took her by the waist. “No more secrets. What you know, I need to know. Promise?”

She tilted her chin up and looked him directly in the eyes. “That’s it. I swear.”

“I believe you, darlin’.” Ducking his head, he kissed her quickly, a swift mating of lips which didn’t last nearly long enough. “Go on,” he murmured when he lifted his head.

“I was going until you sidetracked my brain,” she grumbled, heading down the hall to the secondary set of stairs.

Bucky chuckled as he returned to the living room and took a quick look around. He had weapons stashed everywhere from behind the couch cushions to taped to the undersides of the tables and more in the kitchen. There were four of them coming, all armed, all trained. "Friday, can you turn the kettle on?"

"Of course, Sergeant."

He shook out his flesh arm and rolled the metal one hard, calibrating it from the shoulder down like Stark had shown him. “Give me the rundown, Friday.” Having not bothered to remove the Bluetooth from his ear, she spoke directly to him.

“Special Agent Julie Markov. She is a ten year veteran of the FBI, currently assigned to the Criminal, Cyber, Response, and Services Branch. In her years there she has been accredited with taking down a number of dirty business relating to drug or gang crime, as well as white-collar crime. If I had to guess, Penny’s attack and subsequent investigation by the IRS has caused them to launch an investigation of their own. Her partner, Special Agent Anthony Barrow, is an expert in white-collar crime and computer-based crime. It is perhaps better not to inform them of my presence. Knowing she employed an AI to compile the data on Taft will only cause them to collect a warrant so they may compile their own data apart from what I’ve already done, and poke their noses into parts of Marquis they have no business getting into. I have put together a file with all our relevant information, the reports submitted by Taft, and the real data, cross-referenced and correlated, along with the money trail from the subsidiaries Taft was using.”

“Thought we’d decided to leave it to SHIELD?” Bucky murmured when the door announced their arrival.

“Well, I only gave them the money as far as I could follow prior to Jarvis’ involvement. If we stonewall them, Sergeant, they will not let it go.”

“Tricky girl,” he chuckled.

“The Captain, Ryan Harris. I do not know why he is here,” Friday murmured. “His record is impeccable with only a few minor incidents in his beat cop days. It appears he had difficulty with authority.”

“Don’t we all.” This time, Bucky didn’t meet them at the door but off to one side, his gun in his hand. Once all four were out of the elevator, he stepped silently from the shadows with the weapon pointed at their heads. “That’s far enough.”

“Barnes!” McGilvery snarled. “You really want to get arrested, don’t you?”

“Not particularly,” Bucky muttered, “But there’s four of you and only one of little old me, so I’ll thank you to remove your service weapons slowly, and the backups, and place them on the table one at a time. You can pick them up on your way out.”

“Sergeant,” the woman took a step forward but froze when Bucky arched a brow. “My name is-”

“Special Agent Julie Markov. Ten year veteran with the FBI, CCRSB. I know who you are, ma’am. At the moment, I don’t give a flying fuck if you’re the President. You aren’t coming near Miss Rogers armed. Not after today.”

“We want to talk to you-” McGilvery started in.

“Do I look like I care at all about what you want, McGilvery? Last time you were here you made unfounded accusations in regards to Penelope. How was the phone call from Steve? That go well for you?” The first thing he’d done out of the shower was send in his report to Steve. Not all of it, of course, but enough, including McGilvery and his asinine comments.

Steve may have been flying over the Atlantic on his way to a mission, but nothing would stop him from coming to Penny’s defence. And when Captain America called, you picked up the damn phone. Bucky knew McGilvery had gotten an earful, likely Harris as well.

“That’s why I’m here, Sergeant. To offer my sincerest apologies to Miss Rogers and assure both of you Detective McGilvery will be on his best behaviour from here on out.”

“Fantastic. Weapons. On the table.”

“If you think I’m going to give up my gun because some washed out Avenger tells me to-”

“Barrow!” Markov snapped. “The Sergeant is well within his rights to ask us to remove our weapons. Miss Rogers has been put in mortal danger twice. As head of her security, it's understandable he’d be… distressed having four unknown and armed people anywhere near her.”

“Look at you go, doll. Got it in one. Weapons. Table. Then you can sit in the living room and ask your questions. Or you can get back on that elevator, and we can meet you at SHIELD’s New York office and conduct this interview under Director Fury’s watchful eye.”

Markov was the first to relent, pulling her service weapon from her hip and placing it on the table. She dropped into a slow crouch and added the ankle revolver before moving further into the room. “We can all be civilized, can’t we, gentlemen?”

Harris was second, his service weapon and back up landing beside Markov’s. McGilvery gave his up begrudgingly, but it was Barrow who crossed his arms and glared at Bucky.

“It’s not happening.”

“Then get out of my house.”

Bucky didn’t look; he didn’t need to. Penny’s oddly beating heart had betrayed her the moment she made her way down the hall to the top of the stairs.

“Miss Rogers, we’re FBI. Surely this isn’t necessary.” Barrow turned on the charm as Penny descended the stairs.

She’d changed out of the pink dress but was no less stunning in skinny jeans and a floaty white top covered by a grey sweater. The knot she’d worn in her hair had come loose in their mad run through the hospital, but she’d somehow managed to pile her wealth of blonde curls up on her head. Penny appeared casual, but there was no mistaking the quality of anything she had on.

Poised and polished, she stopped halfway down the stairs with her hand on the railing and let the ice queen out. If it was wrong getting a thrill watching her go cold on people, Bucky didn’t want to be right, because when her eyes went glacial, and her chin jacked up, it kicked him right in the balls with a hard shot of lust.

“I don’t care if you’re the Queen of England. You will remain unarmed in my home, or vacate it immediately. I have been blown up, shot at, and shot at again by people who were supposed to be some form of security or protection. Perhaps you can see why I am reluctant to have anyone enter my home with a weapon.”

Tall at six feet two inches, Barrow still had to tilt his head up to look Penny in the eyes. His skin had taken on a ruddy flush of anger, causing the pock marks from acne scars to surface white in the red. He thrust his hand through his shaggy mop of curling chestnut hair, but finally tugged his service weapon from beneath his arm, and crouched to remove the one at his ankle. Both landed with a thud on the table.

“And the one at your back,” Bucky said.

Narrowed eyes of sharp obsidian glared at him, but Barrow complied and added it to the pile. Bucky lowered his gun and returned it to the holster beneath his arm.

“Excellent. Now, we can finish, and you can all get the hell out.” Penny made her way down the final few stairs.

“If someone wanted you dead, Miss Rogers, removing their gun isn’t going to stop them,” Barrow stated, clearly angry as he stomped toward Penny.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Agent. You could try to hurt me, but that’s why he’s here. And if you think for one moment you could lay a hand on me while there was still a single breath left in the Sergeant’s body, well then, you’d most likely be dead. Right, Buck?”

“Right,” Bucky growled from directly behind Barrow who flinched a lot harder than McGilvery had.

“Damn,” Harris muttered. “He is quiet,” he said to McGilvery who only rolled his eyes.

Penny made her way into the kitchen where she turned off the boiling kettle - thank you Friday - and reached for a teapot made of glass. “Can I get anyone anything?” she asked, adding loose tea to the filter.

“Answers,” grumbled McGilvery.

“I’ll take a tea,” Markov spoke over him.

“Tea would be great,” Harris agreed.

“Coffee?” Barrow asked.

“Fresh out,” Bucky said, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed.

“Bucky. Don’t be an ass.” Penny shoved him in the ribs and stuck a cup beneath the fancy coffee maker of hers. “Strong, super strong, or stand a spoon in it, Agent…?”

“Barrow, ma’am. Special Agent Barrow and this is Special Agent Markov,” he motioned to his partner, “and the stronger, the better.”

She set the dial and walked away to place the teapot and three mugs on the island. “I’m assuming this is about the hospital today?”

“Among other things.” Markov sat on a stool at the island, clearly working to make Penny as comfortable as possible. “Miss Rogers, we don’t believe for a moment you have anything to do with the attack on you at your office or the one that took place today.”

“Ain’t that a relief.” Sarcasm laced Bucky’s voice.

“But we do believe someone is using your company to clean dirty money.”

Penny nodded, not bothering to look at any of them. “And why would you think that?”

“Your profit and loss margins are out of sync,” Barrow said, eyeing Penny like she was fresh meat and he was a vulture.

Bucky plucked an apple from the bowl beside him and flicked a knife out of nothing he used to begin peeling it. He'd never seen four people come to attention so hard before and had to fight not to laugh.

“They’ve been taking bigger risks. Moving larger sums of money at one time and causing red flags to show across the board.” Markov frowned. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

“Penny. Wait for Tamara,” Bucky cautioned, the thin strip of red apple peel getting longer.

“She’s stuck in cross traffic, and as Agent Markov has already stated, I'm not a suspect,” Penny murmured, returning for Barrow’s coffee. “His name is Marcus Taft. He's been in charge of finances for my company since the beginning, and from what I’ve been able to piece together, he’s been washing money through my company since the beginning.”

“You didn’t think this information was relevant last night!” McGilvery snapped.

Penny’s head whipped up, and her eyes ran cold a second time. “Before last night I knew nothing about it!”

“McGilvery! Zip it!” Harris snapped. “My apologies, Miss Rogers for your poor treatment at the hands of my officer.”

She waved off his apology. “I care very little for the politics which happen within agencies, Captain, but I won’t tolerate being spoken to and blindsided like that a second time.” She tugged her phone from her back pocket, tapped a half dozen keys and swiped upward. All four of them beeped at roughly the same time. “That is everything you will need to charge Marcus Taft with money laundering, theft, and embezzlement. The financial statements go back ten years, since the beginning of my company, and I’ve followed the money as far as I can. You’ll have to work outward from there.”

Barrow was already scrolling through the document. “This is impossible! You couldn’t possibly compile all this data in one night!”

“Agent Barrow, I build and maintain the most complex set of computer servers in the world, rivalled only by those of Tony Stark. Yes, I assure you, I can put that together in such little time.”

The Duchess in her voice made Bucky's cock throb. He just wanted to pin her to the fridge and kiss the sass right out of her. When he finished peeling the apple, he set a single uniform width strip of apple peel on the counter and began to slice small sections off he ate from the blade.

“Why is some of this blacked out?” McGilvery asked, clearly trying to ignore Bucky and his knife.

Penny placed a jar of honey and a small bowl of sugar on the island. “The redacted files are Government contracts. I can guarantee none of you have security clearance that high.”

“I could get it if I needed it,” Markov muttered, still reading.

“No, Agent. You couldn’t. Not even Captain America has clearance to read those files. You certainly won't obtain clearance to know even the names of those contracts.” All four of them looked at her in surprise. “He may be my brother, but I sure as shit don’t tell him everything,” Penny smirked as she poured the tea.

“I’d like a chance to go over these with you, Miss Rogers,” Barrow said, continuing to scroll.

“That won’t be necessary. It’s all perfectly self-explanatory.”

“Is this the real reason behind the attack on you?” Harris asked. “Rather than the bogus story SHIELD fed us?”

“We suspect so,” Bucky answered when Penny glanced his way. “But can’t rule out a Steve connection until Taft is brought in and questioned.” He held out a piece of apple Penny plucked from the tip of his knife and ate without thought.

Harris shot McGilvery a look.

“I’ll call it in,” the Detective murmured and walked away to use his phone.

“We’re going to want first crack at him. We need to know who he’s been laundering the money for. Unless you figured that part out already?” Markov asked.

Penny shrugged. “Not so far.” She blinked innocently, sipping her tea. When the coffee maker beeped, she retrieved Barrow's cup.

The steely eye Markov observed her for a long moment, but Penny didn’t flinch. If he hadn't been able to hear the odd beat of her heart, Bucky would have assumed she was entirely honest.

“Hm,” Markov hummed. “Now, Sergeant. You want to tell us how you deflected three bullets with your arm?”

“Nope. SHIELD tech. Proprietary information. Clearance would have to come through them.”

She rolled her eyes, Barrow gritted his teeth, but Harris only grinned. It appeared the Captain was having a very good time getting out from behind his desk.

“If I do have questions about this,” Barrow pointed at his phone, “is it alright if I call?”

“If you must. Email is better. I’m good at multitasking,” Penny said, wandering toward Bucky. She leaned into him, hip cocked, and one knee bent to drink her tea. Bucky’s arm went possessively around her waist, solidifying the statement she was making. They were a team, and Bucky the only one of all of them she trusted.

Markov ran an appreciative eye over him before sending Penny a smirk and a nod. Evidently, the Special Agent approved.

“The men at the hospital were hired guns. Both had a reputation for collateral damage and more than two dozen confirmed kills to each of their names. No one is sad to see them go, but we’re going to have to get your statement of what happened,” Harris said.

“Can’t you just use the hospital’s security footage?” Penny asked.

“There are discrepancies in how it looks on film. Why did you stop before you exited the ER? How did you know to turn when you did? Where did your car come from to pick you up when, from what we could tell, you two were alone?”

Bucky scowled at McGilvery returning from his call. “You gonna ask if I’m in on it this time?”

“Are you?”

“Watch it, McGilvery. One day your mouth is gonna run, and you’ll find yourself with fewer teeth,” Bucky warned. “I’ve been a sniper a long ass time. You learn to listen to your instincts, and when the hair rises on the back of your neck, you make a tactical retreat until you figure out why. Something didn’t feel right when we made to leave out the front, so I changed the plan. When the guys who’d been milling around out front came at us with guns drawn, I fired back. Then I got Penny out of there as fast as possible.”

“Picking her up was just a bonus?”

He shifted his glare to Barrow. “Faster that way. She always wears these ankle-bustin’ shoes.”

“You opened fire in a crowded hospital. You could have missed.”

Back to McGilvery. “Like I said. Sniper. I don’t miss. Only one with more accuracy than me is the Hawk.”

“Hawkeye? Clint Barton?”

“Yeah. We done here?” Bucky looked to Markov who seemed to be running the show.

“How’d you move the car?”

“SHIELD tech. Classified.”

McGilvery’s lip curled up into a snarl. “Convenient.”

“We’re done here.” Markov pushed from her stool. “Thank you for the tea, Miss Rogers, and your cooperation. We’ll be in touch.”

“I’ll be plugging that hole by cutting off access to those monetary channels as soon as you pick up Marcus,” Penny said, following them to toward the elevator.

“Ma’am, we can’t let you do that until we get in there and follow-”

Penny cut Barrow off with a raised hand. “And is the Bureau going to compensate me millions of dollars if I leave it open? I’m eighty-two million in the hole as it is these last ten years. You want me to leave those channels available you’d best be able to get me my money back.”

“Close the holes, Miss Rogers,” Markov nodded, returning her gun to her hip.

“Will do, Agent Markov.” Penny smiled at the Captain. “And thank you for coming, Captain. It’s allowed cooler heads to prevail.”

He shook her hand when she offered it. “A pleasure, ma’am.”

“Let’s hope the next time we cross paths it’s at the NYPD Gala.”

“Looking forward to your speech, Miss Rogers.”

“Penny, please,” she smiled. “Well, in a few weeks then.”

They collected their weapons as Bucky watched and got on the elevator. Once the doors closed, Penny sagged into him.

“Whoa, Pen. You okay?”

“Tired,” she sighed. “Need to lay down.”

“And call off Tamara.”

“Did that when I found out she was stuck in traffic. Better she isn’t around for the Marcus bits anyway.”

Bucky swept her up into his arms and took the stairs three at a time as he returned her to her bed. “Rest, Pen.”

“Mm,” she hummed, eyes already closed.

He covered her in her red blanket, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and quietly left the room. He and Friday had work to do. “You let me know if there’s any change in her heart, Friday.”

“Yes, Sergeant. And Sergeant?”

“Yeah, Friday?”

“I am… happy she told you the truth.”

“Now all we have to do is figure out a way to fix her.”

“I have accelerated my work with the artificial heart. Already I have had an increase of ten percent in my success rate when paired with Penny.”

“What’s your success rate at in total, Friday?” he asked, a smidge of hope filling him.

“... ten percent,” Friday whispered. “It is not as easy as it looks.”

“Considering it doesn’t look easy at all...” Bucky sighed, returning to Penny’s office. “Keep working at it. We’ve got to do something. Penny dying isn’t an option.”

“I agree. Sergeant?”

“What, Friday?” He pulled up the images of her original assailants. Something about their use compared to the two hitmen of today seemed… off to him.

“May I have a sample of your blood?”

Bucky froze, then slowly sat back to look at the wall. “Why?”

“I have a hypothesis.”

“Which is?”

“A hypothesis is-”

“I know what hypothesis means, Friday! What is it? Why do you want my blood?”

“I’d… prefer not to say. In case I am wrong.”

Bucky pulled a knife from his sleeve. “How much and where?”

***

Penny dreamed. She dreamed of a soft bed and a hard body beneath her hands. Of warm muscles and quiet moans.

She dreamed of Bucky's hands on her skin, calluses and metal. His lips were soft when she kissed him. They felt even softer moving down her throat and over her chest to pull at her nipple.

A moan escaped her lips. “James…” she sighed.

“Penny,” he whispered, his hands touching her everywhere.  Then his grip tightened, turned bruising.

"You sure grew up pretty,” hissed maliciously against her skin before sharp pain flooded her belly. When he lifted his head, he wasn't Bucky anymore.

Penny screamed herself awake.

“Pen!” Bucky rushed to her side, and she recoiled. “Easy, easy, Penny. It's just me. You're okay.”

He knelt at her bedside while Penny tried to catch her breath. “It wasn't you,” she whispered and threw her arms around him. “It wasn't you.”

“What wasn’t me, baby doll?” he asked, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“The one who hurt me. I was dreaming of you, and then you were him…”

“Penny.”

“I want to not be afraid anymore. Just for one damn moment, can I not be afraid?” she sobbed.

“It's gonna work out, Pen. You'll see.”

“Will I?” she whispered. “I have six months to save my life. Six. I've spent so much time working to save everyone else; I haven't done any living.” She pushed away and wiped her eyes. “I wanted to travel. See the world. Visit Tokyo, Paris, London. Instead, I've worked myself into an early grave.”

“No!” Bucky took her by the shoulders. “Don't you dare give up!”

“I'm not! But what am I doing it for? What did I do all this,” she thrust a hand out, “for if I'm not enjoying it! No life. No relationships. I may as well be a damn computer for all the good it's doing me!”

“Then change it! Figure it out and change it! Fix your heart and take a fucking vacation! Hell, I'll take you to Paris if that's what you want, but you're not allowed to quit on me, Penny!”

A smirk twitched her lips. “You're gonna take me to Paris, Barnes?”

“Damn right.”

She arched a skeptical brow. “And what would you know of Paris?”

He rocked back on his heels and dragged Penny around so he knelt between her spread knees with her feet dangling from the side of the bed. It made her heart kick in excitement and breath hitch with the same.

“I've been a lot of places, Pen. I know what colour paints the sky over the Eiffel Tower at dawn. I know the Arc looks like it's made of butter at dusk. Like you could reach out and touch it, and it would melt beneath your palm. I've seen the glass of the Louvre's pyramid sparkle after the rain, and ate pastries and drank coffee from cafés along the Rue de Seine.”

“Bucky.” His eyes were like sapphires, dark with want and memories.

“There's a hotel, out of the way and off the tourist track, with the best beds I've ever slept in, piled with blankets and pillows. The windows all have these fragrant flower boxes and Evangeline who runs it waters them each day. She makes breakfast from croissants and mandolins, fruit and cheese, and fresh squeezed orange juice. There are eggs and sausage, bacon and fruit tarts with fresh cream.” Bucky's arms wrapped around her hips and drew her closer, intimately so until her legs were spread wide around his torso, and his face level with her suddenly aching breasts.

She swallowed thickly. “Evangeline, huh?”

“She's seventy if she's a day, with wrinkles and laugh lines, and a head full of curly white hair. I adore her. Learned French just for her.”

“You speak French?” Penny was astounded.

“ _Oui, et si la dame veut se lever du lit, le dîner peut être servi_.”

She blinked at him for a moment before smiling. “Calling me a lady _and_ serving me dinner? Look at you go, turning on the charm. And here you are enticing me out of bed instead of into it. I'm impressed.”

Bucky's arms tightened around her hips. “Darlin’,” he purred. “I assure you, I want you in bed just as bad, but I'm not gonna seduce you after you wake up from that kind of nightmare, especially when you need to eat. Your body's gotta fight ahead of it.”

“You know, you're kinda sweet when you want to be, Barnes,” she smiled and slid her hand through his hair.

A devilish look came into his sapphire eyes. “Baby girl, I can be sweet, or I can be sinful. You fix your heart, and I'll show you just how sinful.” He turned his head and closed his mouth unerringly around her nipple through the fabric of her shirt and bra, granted neither was overly thick, and scraped his teeth over it, making Penny gasp in shocked pleasure. “Then I'll take you to Paris and introduce you to Evangeline.”

He pushed to his feet and drew her up with him, holding her so she was pressed full length to his body without any hope of wiggling away.  When his teeth scraped her ear, she shivered, and a drum beat thudded in her womb.

“And then I'll show you just how soft and sexy the beds can be.” Bucky released her with a wink and sauntered out of the room. “Dinner will be ready in five minutes.”

Penny sat with a thump and pressed her hand to her chest. Her heart raced, but it didn't feel laboured, only excited. He'd seduced her with words and barely a touch, given her an incentive to work toward, but Penny had never been a patient woman when it came to getting what she wanted.

And right now what she wanted most was more of the man whistling as he walked away. The reason she’d been hesitant in agreeing to anything this morning was because she didn’t want to hurt him when he found out the truth. But now he knew. He knew, and he still wanted her. He would be with her till the end, and clearly, he was offering her an incentive to work faster.

But what if she didn’t want to wait that long? What if she still ran out of time? What if this was her last chance to grab for a slice of happiness?

Penny let the sweater fall to the bed behind her. “Two can play that game, Barnes.”


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

Bucky had Friday turn on some quiet jazz, something soft without words to keep the atmosphere of the evening calm. Penny had endured enough today. She didn’t need anything else stressing her heart.

She definitely didn’t need him getting all up in her space or listening to his overzealous dick. There was something special here, but he wasn’t going to be pushing her into something after everything she’d told him.

Just the idea of someone hurting her that way made him so fucking angry he wanted to rampage through the streets and tear the motherfucker limb from limb, but he didn’t even know who that fucker was. If he did, well, Bucky had never wanted to look in the mirror and see the Winter Soldier ever again, but _fuck_! He would willingly don the mask and strap on the black to tear the cock off the asshole who’d hurt Penny.

The oven timer dinged drawing him out of thoughts of righteous revenge. He turned toward it and pulled it open sending the mouthwatering scent of lasagna into the air.

“Holy hell, Buck,” Penelope groaned from behind him. “I swear you’re gonna make me fat.”

He chuckled as she padded across the floor and he took the pan from the oven to set on the stove top. Cheese bubbled and sauce simmered. It looked good, as did the bread he popped in and switched the oven to broil. Then he turned around and froze.

She’d shed her sweater and lost the hair tie. Leaning on the island as she was, he had a pleasing view down the front of her top, one thin enough to highlight the fact she wasn’t wearing a bra any longer. Perky nipples pressed prominently to the white fabric like two tender offerings, and her lion’s mane of hair curled in waves and twists around her face and shoulders.

“That’s dirty pool, Pen.”

She smirked and arched a brow. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, Buck.”

He stalked her around the island, predator to prey, humming approval when she simply turned and leaned back on her elbows, sending her breasts to press even harder against her shirt. “You’re playin’ a dangerous game you ain’t gonna win, sweetheart,” he purred, taking her by the waist.

“Still haven’t a clue what you mean,” she said all innocence.

He growled and lowered his head to press a kiss to her heart. It jumped, kicking in that odd rhythm that terrified him. “I’m not gonna stress your heart, Pen. You can play this game all you want, but I’m not takin’ the chance of pushin’ you into a cardiac event because I can’t keep it in my pants.” When he looked up, it was to find her eyes full of tears. “Oh, baby. Don’t do that.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” she mumbled and pushed him away.

“Don’t do that, Pen,” he sighed dragging her back into his arms.

“I just want to live for now, Buck,” she whispered. “I don’t want to think about the tomorrow I may not have. I want today, now, this moment. I’ve spent my life with a wall up because even the idea of sex or someone touching me the way you have was abhorrent. Can’t I live in the moment? Can’t we have something in case…” her breath hitched, “in case there is no tomorrow?”

“Don’t.” Bucky held her tighter. “Don’t say that.”

Her hands balled into fists against his chest. “But it’s true.”

But he couldn’t think about losing her. It would paralyze him if he did. “Pen…”

“Do you know what it’s like for me to stand here like this, touch you like this, lean on you like this and feel… calm? Do you know how happy it makes me not to have the desire to flinch or pull away? To know, deep down in my soul _know_ you would never willingly hurt me?”

“Yeah, Pen, I know.” He threaded his fingers into her hair and cupped her skull, tilting her face up. “Do you think it’s easy for me to stand here with you looking sweet as pie and sexy as sin and stop myself from lifting you to the kitchen island and stripping you naked? My zipper’s gonna be permanently embedded in my dick you keep lookin’ like that.”

She arched a golden eyebrow, her lips quirking at the corner. “You got a problem there, Barnes?”

“I’ve had a problem since you were seventeen, Penelope Grace,” he growled and kissed her cheek. “Stop tormenting me and get the plates.” He gave her ass a solid swat and went to save the garlic bread from burning.

“Spoilsport,” she muttered but did as told. “Just for that, no beer for you.”

He rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. Her wine was decent compared to what he’d had with other people. He trusted her not to gag him on something disgusting.

The bread landed beside the lasagna, and he turned to take the salad he’d prepared earlier out of the fridge.

“Damn, Buck. I should keep you around just to cook. Though I’d probably be three hundred pounds in a year.”

“Shut it. You could stand to put on a few pounds. You’re too damn skinny,” he grumbled, serving the lasagna onto the plates she brought him.

“I know,” she sighed. “I think it’s the serum. My metabolism is all over the place. When I first started taking it, I ate like a damn elephant and never gained a pound, but I worked out too, ran every day. I miss running,” she murmured, taking the plates to the island where she added the salad to hers.

Bucky brought the bread and set it between them. “So you actually used that fancy gym equipment?” he teased.

“Every day. Now I can’t climb stairs without getting winded.”

He reached out and squeezed her hand. “We’ll figure it out, Pen. We’re going to get you through this.”

She squeezed back and began to eat. It gave him a sense of accomplishment watching her bolt the food like it would disappear if she didn’t. She didn’t eat nearly enough, that was clear to him. At least this way he could see she didn’t skimp on meals and fueling her body.

They ate in comfortable silence, fingers brushing and twisting together, drinking the surprisingly good wine, and enjoying the company. Bucky should have known it was too good to last.

“Ma’am? There is an incoming call from a blocked number.”

“Can you unblock it?” Bucky asked at the same time Penny said, “Put it through.”

“Working to unblock the call, and putting it through now.”

“Hello?” Penny murmured.

“You stupid bitch! You couldn’t just let it go. You couldn’t just let me handle it!”

“Marcus?” she frowned, her fingers tightening around Buckys.

“Of course it’s me!” he snapped to the squeal of tires and blare of a car horn.

Penny lurched to her feet. “Marcus, what are you doing?”

“I’m running! What the hell did you think I would do? Did you think they’d be happy to know I got found out? You think people like that are forgiving?” He barked a hysterical laugh.

“Marcus! Don’t do this! Turn yourself in. Help the police. They’ll protect you.”

“Don’t be naive, Penelope!” he huffed. “The police can save me from _them_.”

“Them who, Marcus!” she cried.

“You really are a stupid blonde! Hydra! Who else?” he snapped.

More tires squealed, and horns blared. “Marcus! Stop! You’re going to kill yourself!”

“I can’t stop. I have to get out of here before-”

The crash was deafening. Glass shattered, the horn began to blare constantly.

“Marcus!” Penny screamed.

“Taft!” Bucky bellowed. “Taft! Can you hear me? Taft!”

“Marcus!” Penny cried a second time.

The crunch of boots on glass had Bucky grabbing Penny and slamming a hand to her mouth. They stopped, and there was the sound of a door being jerked open.

“Penny…” Marcus groaned. “Penny… not just… me… others involved…”

Two sharp pings sounded making Penny jump. Then rustling filled the phone as it was picked up. Heavy breathing lasted a moment before a soft chuckle. “Ma pepette, we have a date. You. Me. And a bullet, non?”

She shook all over and shoved his hand from her mouth. “You son of bitch! Come and get me dick head!”

Bucky ground his teeth together. “Oi, LeCroix, you’re gonna have to come through me to get to her.”

“Ah, the soldier speaks. I was wondering if you’d found your voice again, le chien. Barking like the good dog you are? Strucker sends his regards. He misses his favourite bitch.” Laughter preceded the call ending when the sound of sirens filled the background.

“Fuck!” Bucky turned and put his fist through the wall.

“James!” Penny gasped and darted toward him as he pulled bloody knuckles from the drywall.

“It’s fine.” He waved her off when she tried to grab his hand.

“It’s not fine! You’re bleeding!”

“And I’ll heal, goddammit!” He tore his hand away. “I’ll heal thanks to Strucker and his shit serum! I’ll heal because of the monster who just sent his goons after your employee and had him killed! The same monster who’s got it out for you!” He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her hard. “Don’t you ever call out a psychopath again!”

She bleached white. “Oh, god… Marcus. They killed Marcus.”

“Yeah.” He pulled her into the safety of his arms. “I know he was a shit, but no one deserves that.”

“He said there were others involved. Christ, Buck! How deep does this go in my company? Is it even in my company? What the fuck do I do now?” She clung to him then went deathly still. “Oh, crap, Tamara!”

He held her tighter when she tried to struggle away. “Pen, you need to let the police handle this. As it is they’re going to be breathin’ down our neck because of this.”

“What? Why?” she asked.

“You were on the phone with him when he died. Pen, you were the last person to talk to Taft. They’re gonna want to know why.”

Her forehead fell to his chest, and her breath hitched. “This is such a shit show.”

“Yeah, yeah it is.”

She sighed and pushed back. “I need another glass of wine. Friday, you wouldn’t happen to have that conversation recorded?”

“Of course, Penny.”

“Well, that solves one problem,” Bucky grumbled. He hadn’t even thought to ask the AI. “You’d best call Special Agent Markov and see how soon she can get here.”

“Right away, Sergeant.”

Bucky growled and returned to the kitchen where he began cleaning up and putting dinner away. “Gonna have to deal with dipshit one and two again.”

“Barrow and McGilvery?” Penny snickered.

“Yeah. Assholes, the two of them.”

She poured more wine in her glass and sat at the counter. “So, are you going to fix my wall, or should I send the bill to Shield?”

He arched a brow. “I’ll fix it. Sorry if I scared you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Not the first time you or Steve have put their fist through a wall.”

“True,” he chuckled then sobered. “I’m sorry about Taft. He was a shit, but you were friends once.”

“Yeah.” She was quiet for a moment. “I’m more worried about Tamara. This is going to be really hard on her.”

Bucky kept his opinion to himself for the moment. Taft had alluded to other players in this game. He wasn’t yet willing to discard Tamara as one of those players. When he turned to collect the plates, he sighed silently. At least she’d gotten half her meal down before the phone call. Still, he had one trick left up his sleeve to see she fed her tired body.

After scraping the plates and stacking them in the dishwasher, Bucky turned to the fridge and pulled open the freezer. “Steve said it was a toss-up between Half Baked and Chocolate Therapy for your favourite.” He set the pint of Ben and Jerry’s in front of her and got a spoon out of the drawer.

It was as she was reaching for it that the tremble in her hand became a shake and then her face crumbled, and Penny laid her head down on the island and sobbed into her arms. He’d been expecting it, but it still made his heart hurt listening to her cry.

He picked up the ice cream, then rounded the counter to lift her from her stool and stride into the living room where he sat with her in his lap and let her work it through. Penny was tough, he’d always known that, but she also felt deeply. She loved hard, hated harder, and held on to the people she cared for. Taft’s betrayal after a long line of hurt by men and now his murder… it was all becoming too much. Bucky could see the strain building in the lines around her eyes.

“Shh, baby. I’ve got you,” he murmured against her hair. Her arms curled around his neck. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”

“He called you Strucker’s dog… Bucky…”

More tears wet his shoulder. That’s when he realized she wasn’t crying for Taft, but for him. “Don’t, darlin’. It’s not worth it.”

“I hate that you were there, with him, with them. I want to kill them all. Destroy all of Hydra. Take it all down.”

“We will, baby girl. We will.” He pressed a kiss to her hair and set the tub of ice cream on the table beside him. He shifted with her until they were stretched out together on the couch, big and little spoon style.

“If you ever want to talk...”

He was quiet for a long time before he sighed into her hair. “It was a rough time, Pen. Brutal. I'd rather not rehash it if that's okay. I talked about it with a therapist when I first came back, and they helped deal with the jumbled mess in my brain. Strucker and everything he did, the torture, the pain, I don't want that ugliness touching you.”

“But it already has, and that’s not your fault. I'm beginning to think there is more happening here than just laundering money. Something deeper. What did Marcus mean other people?”

“I don't know, but I'm going to expand my search parameters to do a deeper dive on his closest acquaintances. We need to know what he was talking about. Friday?”

“Yes, Sergeant?”

“Can you transfer all the data from Taft's office computer to a secondary location?”

“Of course.”

“Do it.”

Penny twisted to look at him. “Why?”

“I have a hunch. Monitor everyone who accesses Taft's office too.”

“Yes, boss.”

“Hey!” Penny huffed, but a smirk curled her lips. “Are you makin’ time with my AI?” she teased.

“He is very pretty… for a human,” Friday snickered. “The Special Agent seems to be unavailable. I've reached her voicemail three times.”

“Leave a message. Ask her and her partner to meet us at Penny's office in the morning.” He couldn't stop staring at the crooked smile on Penny's lips. “Damn. You really are gorgeous.”

A slight pink filled her cheeks. “You think?”

He smiled. “Just so beautiful, baby girl.”

A sly grin spread her lips. “I hear James Barnes is quite the kisser.”

“And who told you that?” he asked, sliding his thigh over hers.

“Mary Miller.” Her grin grew a little bigger.

“And here I thought you dames didn't kiss and tell.”

“Depends on the dame.”

“You aiming for something, Pen?” he teased, lightly brushing his fingers up her stomach.

Her hands skimmed up his chest to wrap around his neck. “Maybe.”

“Then why don't you spit it out.” He flattened his palm to her ribs and gently swept his thumb along the curve of her breast.

Her ocean blue eyes peered up at him from behind her golden lashes. “I've never made out with a guy before.”

The quiet admission made his chest ache. So many things missed because of one person's crimes. “Then let me show you, but if you get stressed, baby I'm stopping. You gotta stay nice and calm for me.”

She closed her eyes and took a fortifying breath. “Ready.”

He highly doubted it but didn't make her wait. The descent down to her lips was slow and drawn out. He wanted her to experience all the pleasure she should have, all the tenderness she'd never known. Already he could hear the excited kick of her heart, but he knew how to slow that down.

Bucky found her soft lips and parted them on her sigh but didn't sink between them. He played with them. Gentle sips and soft nips. Little bites and pulls until the plump flesh was red and swollen. Only then did he deepen the kiss, tilting his head to dive within. Her soft moan had an answering purr of pleasure rumbling in his chest.

She tightened her arms, and he lowered his weight to her side, careful not to make her feel pinned down or trapped, and moved his hand up to cup her breast and gently squeeze her flesh.

“Buck,” she sighed and arched into his touch.

“There’s my girl,” he whispered against her lips before skimming away to brush along her jawline. “Just relax, Pen.” He nibbled on the skin beneath her ear while slowly circling her hard bud of a nipple. Her skin was so wonderfully soft and fragrant he could have wallowed in it, just laid there holding her, breathing her in, saturating himself in the feel of her.  

She moaned low and long; gooseflesh rising Bucky soothed with a sweep of his tongue. Slowly he returned to capture her lips and flick his tongue across the seam. She parted them on a quiet purr, a kitten stretching and squirming beneath his touch. The tip of her tongue touched his, tentatively at first then with more enthusiasm when he reciprocated until she teased him into dancing with her.

Penny’s knee crept up his thigh, her foot caressing his calf. Her hands skimmed down his back, slowly leaving paths of warmth before slipping up to tunnel through his hair. She tasted like the wine they’d been drinking, sweet and tart and just like Penny.

Bucky closed his hand over her breast and squeezed. Her heart jumped then settled back into its fluttering beat. He drew away from her lips to return to her throat and work his way down her chest to place open mouth kisses over that weakening organ. Even as he kissed her there, loved her there, he prayed to a God he’d long ago stopped believing in to keep her with him, to help find a cure, to fix her broken heart.

The realization she was the only woman he’d ever truly loved hit him so hard he gasped and dropped his forehead to her chest to hide the tears burning his eyes.

“Bucky?”

Curiosity and confusion. He forced a smile and rubbed his nose on her skin. “You make it hard to breathe sometimes.”

She chuckled softly. “Is this what making out on a sofa is always like?”

“Pretty much,” he smirked at her.

“And if I was your best girl, what would you be tempting me into, Buchanan?” she teased.

“Duchess,” he snickered, pressing another kiss to her heart. “You are my best girl.” Such joy filled her face it made his chest ache. “And _if_ I was tempted to push my girl, I might be so bold as to slide this thin, slinky top out of the way to have my way with her gorgeous breasts.”

“Hm…” Her eyes darkened as she tapped a finger against her chin, then it was dropping to pluck at the thin spaghetti strap. “This top?”

“Penny,” he growled in warning, but the strap was already sliding down her shoulder, the only thing keeping it in place was his hand.

“Bucky.” Her hand lifted to stroke his cheek. “Help me replace the bad memories with good ones.”

He shook his head. “I won’t stress your heart, Penelope.”  

She took his hand from her breast to press flat between them. “It’s okay. It’s just beating, not straining.” Her hand returned to his face. “Please. I just want to feel normal. To feel pleasure in a touch instead of fear. Help me, Bucky.”

When the fireplace came on, and soft, seductive music rippled from the speakers, he chuckled and shook his head. “Your AI makes a good wingwoman.” And if Friday was monitoring things - as weird as that was - would it be so bad if he took their moment a little further?

“She’s smart like that,” Penny snickered.

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, chaste and light. She sighed and relaxed, her trust everything he could ever hope for. Bucky worked his way over her throat a second time, his fingers gliding up to play with the tiny strap before guiding it down to her elbow. He lifted his head to look down and hummed approval at the pert, perfect orb with its dusky rose areola and nipple, hard and pebbled, waiting for his lips.

A low growl of want escaped him before he closed his lips over the tight bud and drew it into his mouth. Penny moaned and arched up, her heart kicked once at the pleasure then settled into only a slightly faster rhythm.

“Mm, good girl,” Bucky hummed when she breathed and controlled the excited reaction.

Her hands clenched in his hair. “That feels….”

“Tell me,” he purred, swiping his tongue over her and giving it a gentle flick before worrying the bud with his teeth.

“So good,” she sighed, her hips bucking against his.

Bucky wrapped his arms beneath her and sat them both up. If he was going to do this, worship all that soft skin, he was going to use both hands. She automatically shifted to straddle his lap and shook the second strap down her arm, letting the shirt fall to pool around her waist.

His hands landed on the bare skin of her back so he could hold her still and look his fill. “Fuck, Pen. You’re gorgeous. Just perfect,” he murmured as he ran his hands up and down her back.

A blush coloured her cheeks, but her smile was one of pure pleasure.

He drew her in, brought her closer, and nuzzled his nose between her breasts. They really were perfect, round and high and firm, a pleasing handful with large buds for his lips and tongue to tease. He swept his mouth across her chest to take one in and suck gently, relishing the quiet whimper that escaped Penny’s throat. Keeping his metal arm wrapped tight around her hips, he used his other hand to caress her soft skin. Side. Belly. Breast. He touched her everywhere, unable to believe his good fortune.

“God, Bucky,” she groaned, her hands clenching in his hair.

When she rolled her hips into his, he tightened his arm. “Slow down, baby doll. We’re in no rush.” Her heart kicked and jumped every time she tried to participate. “Just enjoy the ride, Duchess.”

“Fuck you, Barnes,” she sighed, a smile twitching her lips.

“Fix your heart, and I gladly will,” he chuckled, biting down on her nipple.

Penny’s hands clenched in his hair and drew his head back. “I’ve almost died twice. My heart is running out of time. People want to hurt me. Bucky, why are you making me wait?”

There was pain in her eyes, dark blue and fragile. “I’m scared of hurting you.” The answer poured out without conscious thought. “Every time you heart jumps, I remember how you looked in the vehicle. Pen, I want you so bad, but if I hurt you or caused your heart to stop… I couldn’t come back from that.”

She sighed and bent to rest her forehead on his. “I wish…”

“I know,” he whispered, heart aching for her. For what could have been.

With another sigh, she shifted away from him and tugged her top up before getting to her feet. “I’m going to go to bed. Today has been…” She didn’t finish, but she didn’t need to.

He got to his feet and reached for her. “It’s okay, Pen. Get some rest.”

She stepped away before he could touch her. “Right. Tomorrow’s another long day.” She walked away, arms wrapped around her waist, head down, and unhappy.

All he could do was watch her go.

***

He didn't like it. Penny's silence would drive him crazy. She'd been uncharacteristically quiet from the moment she'd gotten up, through the drive, her morning meeting with Special Agents Barrow and Markov, and hadn't said another word to him since.

If it weren't for the unfocused state of her gaze, he would have thought her mad at him, but this wasn't mad Penny. Angry Penny was all sharp looks and blazing eyes. This Penny was so far out of touch with the world around her, he doubted a bomb going off would break her concentration.

Markov and Barrow hadn't helped, hounding her with questions she was in no shape to answer, and Bucky had kicked them from her office with a copy of the phone call on a flash drive. They could make what they wanted of that and leave her the hell alone.

He was sitting watching her work through the problem that held all her focus when his tablet pinged.

Bucky arched an intrigued brow. Someone had accessed Taft's office. He brought up the security footage and sighed.

“I need to go to the lab.”

He jerked in surprise. “Pen?”

“The lab. I need to go to the lab.” She was already on her feet, striding for the door.

He lunged off the couch and beat her to it. “Why?”

“Can't talk. In the zone.” She looked like a walking zombie except for the gleam of mania in her eyes.

He pulled the door open and stepped out ahead of her. Darla looked up in surprise. “Heading to the lab.”

“Oh, but…” her voice trailed off with her first look at Penny. “Ah. In the zone. I'll hold her calls.” She went back to typing.

Bucky only arched a brow and stuck close to Penny. It appeared she did this a lot. By the time they arrived at the elevators, she'd begun to mutter to herself in words and phrases that meant nothing to him.

On the lift and down to the lab level, off and down the hall, through R&D, and to the door of her lab where she placed her palm on the plate and went through the door when it was barely wide enough to keep from scraping her arms.

“Penelope,” he growled annoyed. “What was rule one?”

She didn't answer but went straight to the console on the far side of the room. “Friday, initiate a full lockdown.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

A second door slid closed behind Bucky, one without a window, and set his heart jumping. “Penny?”

“Access secondary lab.” A portion of the wall split apart revealing another elevator.

“Fuck me,” Bucky breathed. “You do have a mad scientist lair.”

She threw him a distracted smile. “Coming?”

He stepped on board, and the wall closed them into the confined space.

“Hold on,” she murmured gripping a handle.

Bucky barely got his fist wrapped around it before the elevator began to descend. Fast. “Holy hell, Pen!” Any faster and they'd be falling down the shaft.

“Stomach in your throat?” she chuckled, some of Penny showing through the zombie he'd spent the morning with.

“Maybe a little.”

“The Cyclone at Coney Island is worse than this.”

“True,” he smirked, remembering when he'd dared Steve onto the coaster. “Hey, Pen? I didn't mean to upset you last night.”

She frowned. “You didn't. You're right. If I can't run three corridors in a hospital, or climb a flight of stairs, I shouldn't be thinking about… that. Bend your knees.”

He didn't ask why, just flexed them, and still nearly fell on his ass when the elevator slowed hard and came to a stop. “Jesus! You couldn't make that a little less dramatic?”

“I don’t always have a lot of time to get in and out. Speed was necessary.” She stalked off the lift to a door surrounded in red light and slapped her hand to another plate. “No one can get in my lab when the secondary door is closed, but that doesn’t mean they can’t get my attention. If I’m needed, I have to be able to get back to the lab floor fast.”

He followed her through the door when it slid open only to stop and stare. “Holy… fuck.”

“Welcome to the future, Buck,” Penny grinned and stepped out of her shoes to walk across the floor.

The circular room was a dome and glowed a soft blue. Every square inch was covered in the same holographic material as her public lab, but even he could tell it was far more advanced. The chair, table, and half circle console looked like something out of a sci-fi movie.

“Damn. I’ve seen some shit, Pen, but this…”

She snickered as she hopped up on the table and laid down. “Begin scan.”

A light appeared around her, and five seconds later it disappeared, then a three-dimensional image of Penelope floated from out of her body to hover an inch above her. She hopped from the table to pick up a glass tablet.

Bucky moved closer to watch. After a few taps on the glass, the image of Penny became an image of Penny’s circulatory system.

“Friday, show me the specs on the artificial heart.” It flashed into existence above the image of Penny. “Progress?”

“Thirty-five percent success.”

Penny hummed. “Maybe we should have invited Jarvis in to teach you sooner.”

“He was most accommodating.”

“If we were to exchange my heart for the artificial, how does the artificial tissue react to the virus?”

“Deterioration rate occurs twenty percent slower than with natural tissue.”

She frowned. “Not good enough.”

“Pen?” Bucky murmured.

“Hmm?”

“Can I use this in here?” He held up the tablet.

“Console. Set it there.” She waved him toward the white computer station.

Bucky headed toward it. She clearly had an idea she was working through, and he’d leave her to it. He set the tablet on a defined square and took a seat. Everything came to life and glowed in digital blue, making him grin. He didn’t like to admit it, but he was a tech nerd at heart. All this just tickled him to no end.

Though if what he suspected was right, it would crush Penny to find out how deeply the betrayal around her ran. “Alright, let’s get this done,” he murmured mostly to himself, though when Friday added her quiet agreement he wasn’t at all surprised.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language
> 
> This update brought to you by @curiositywillbethedeathofme through Coffee Updates. Thanks for the support, luv!

* * *

 

Penny worked with a single-minded focus for three days. When she wasn't in the lab, she was holed up in her home office, muttering things to Friday.

Bucky yanked her out of her “zone” long enough to eat, shower, and sleep. Though after the first night when she'd gotten up to return to work in the middle of it, he'd taken to sleeping in her bed, his arm wrapped snugly around her. She was a woman driven, and it seemed every day she came a little closer to her goal.

Until today.

A beaker smashed into the wall and rained glass on the floor. “Dammit!” she shrieked lifting another, preparing to throw it too.

Bucky plucked it from her fingers. “Use your words, Pen.”

“It stalled at sixty-three percent! Sixty-three! I can't- and it won't- and the virus is too strong!” she wailed, then dropped like a rock to her knees, shoulders slumped in defeat and shaking with tears.

Bucky followed her down and gathered her into his arms. “It's just a plateau, baby girl. You're just a little stuck right now.”

“No.” She swiped at her nose and cheeks. “It's not. The artificial tissues are too susceptible to the virus. It's like it's gotten smarter. Like subjecting it to Steve's serum has made it stronger.” She raised her hands and even from the floor she picked and chose and scanned through test results until she found the one she wanted. “Look.”

The image was of cells under a microscope. After having been subjected to hundreds of pictures over the last few days, Bucky knew the side by side image was half real heart tissue, and half synthetic. The real heart cells were like looking at slightly warped hardwood floors, while the synthetic was oblong and densely packed. Both expanded and contracted to squeeze the chambers of the heart to pump blood through the organ.

“This is what happens when I add the virus to healthy tissue and accelerate the clock. Take into consideration these samples are without super soldier serum.”

Something new dropped into the frame and then the image magnified down until he could see the tiny foreign invader, bazaar looking, a spiked ball, floating around and actively destroying everything it touched. When she zoomed back out, he got to watch as the tissue wasted away, blackening and shrivelling nearly at the same rate.

“Okay, so your synthetic heart is made from organic tissue, right?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes,” she sighed. “We harvest stem cells from the patient and use them in conjunction with secret formulas to grow synthetic tissue that the person's body won't reject.”

“What if you… didn't?”

She frowned at him. “I don't know what you mean.”

He shifted her around to face him, then lifted his left hand, sleeve pushed up to his elbow and glove missing. “This works better than the real one. Can't you do the same with your heart?”

She stared at his flexing hand, then lurched to her feet. “Friday!”

“I'm already running simulations.”

Bucky rocked up to his feet, happy to give her a new direction and wipe the despair off her face, and went to shut down the console that had been his work station for the last days. The evidence was piling up, and it was damning.

Days ago he'd watched with a heavy heart as Tamara had snuck into Taft's office, logged on to his computer through a backdoor hack, and proceeded to dump file after file in the equivalent of a cyberspace shredder. Had they not already transferred everything from Taft's computer to Friday's competent hands, there would have been zero chance of ever getting that information back.

When he began to go through those files, it turned his stomach. Taft wasn’t the only one betraying Penny. Tamara was in on it, at least a dozen people in Research and Development, a handful more of her upper executives, and at least six in other departments. But it was the _why_ that would devastate her. Without her realizing it, Penny had been developing weapons and tech… for Hydra.

They’d taken her work, her research, her money. All of it. They'd used her in the most heinous way, playing her against her brother and Shield.

Bucky had all the data compiled. The evidence was right there in his hands, but he couldn't yet bring himself to give it to her.

Not today.

Soon he would have to drag her away from this project to go stand and speak at Taft's memorial. Tamara had asked her too even knowing all Marcus had done.

He had to give it to the woman. Either she was a damn fine actress, or she'd really loved Taft. Either way, she'd pulled on Penny's heartstrings when she'd called three days ago, requesting leave and crying over the phone.

“Bucky, c'mere,” Penny said, pulling his attention from the tablet in his hand.

He looked up, and she patted the medical table. “Why?”

From the pocket of her lab coat, she tugged the jar of miracle cream and shook it.

With a little grunt of acknowledgement, he began to undo the buttons on his shirt. She’d taken to applying the cream for him when she had a spare moment or was waiting for test results. He thought it soothed her in a way, forced her mind to focus elsewhere for the few minutes her hands were occupied, and if her hands happened to drift down a little farther than strictly necessary to rub over his chest well, he didn't complain.

His shoulder harness and gun landed with a thunk; then she was helping pull his shirt down his arms and folding it carefully while he yanked his undershirt out of his pants and over his head.

The table didn't even shift when he jumped up on it and turned his body to offer his shoulder. He had to admit, the flowery shit was some damn fine goo. Already the redness and height of the scars were reduced. It looked a lot less ragged than it had, too.

Penny's hands were soft and sure as she worked the cream around the mass of scars and metal. “So?”

Her voice startled him. “So what?”

“Are you ever going to tell me what you found that's deepened your scowl?”

“I haven't been scowling,” he scoffed.

“Barnes, you could be Mister Potato Head in Toy Story when the missus gives him his Angry Eyes for how drawn your brows have been.”

He looked at her blankly.

She arched a knowing brow. “Do not even _try_ to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. You and Steve used to drag Becca and me to all those Disney movies as kids, mainly because Steve wanted to see them and didn't want to be labelled a pussy by going on his own. Little sisters were convenient excuses, and I know he still watches every one when they come out.”

He cracked a smile. “Okay, _maybe_ I have a slight recollection of what you mean, but you and Becca loved going to the movies with us.”

“Yeah,” she smiled, eyes soft and far away, “we really did.” Her ocean eyes returned to his face and held there. “Stop trying to skirt the issue. What haven't you been showing me.”

“Pen,” he murmured.

She deflated. “That good, huh?”

“I'm sorry, baby girl.” He took her hands and squeezed them. “I think it's best if we wait and talk about this after the memorial.”

“Why?”

“You have a shit poker face.”

She sank down on the table next to him. “Is there really that many people involved?”

“Penny…”

“Fine,” she huffed and screwed the lid back on the jar. “But I want all the details as soon as the service is over.”

“Absolutely.” He reached for his undershirt and pulled it over his head. The sound she made was one of appreciation and had him glancing over his shoulder. She was staring at his back, and he turned to face her, watching her eyes warm and tongue sweep her lip, her focus firmly on his stomach. “See something you like, Duchess?”

She arched a brow. “Do you really need me to stroke your ego?”

He chuckled as he tucked his shirt in then reached for the dark button down that went with the black suit today. “You stroke it every time you look at me, Pen.” And killed him every night she came to bed in something soft and silky, and he had to keep his hands to himself.

There had been kissing, so much kissing, but it never went further than when they'd fooled around on the couch. He wouldn't let it; didn't dare. He loved her too much to take that risk. But damn it was hard.

She rolled her eyes, but a sweet blush warmed her cheeks. “How could something so corny be cute?”

“Dunno. I'll ask Steve next time I see him.”

She burst out laughing. “Oh! That was perfect!”

“I thought so,” he snickered, doing up his buttons.

“Ma'am?” Friday interjected. “You may want to see this.”

Penny nearly fell from the table when she tried to lunge around and get a look at the new readings the AI was displaying. “What material is this?” she whispered, stunned.

“Vibranium.”

She folded over the table in dismay.

“Pen?” Bucky lurched to grab her as fresh tears fell down her face.

“Vibranium! Of course! Only the rarest metal on Earth. And how am I to make a functional heart out of metal?”

“Um… Pen?” Bucky murmured, wincing a little at what he was about to reveal. “I may know someone who can help.”

“You do?” She looked up and swiped at her face. “Who? How?”

He looked down at her hopeful eyes and knew he was going to be in so much shit but… “Vibranium may not be as rare as you think it is.”

***

She stalked into the memorial with Bucky close at hand ready to murder him. How the hell did _she_ not know about Wakanda? She knew or was aware of every advancement in tech around the world, but she’d never even had an inkling anything was going on in Wakanda.

“Pen-”

She shot up a hand, not wanting to talk about it. She’d always wondered where they’d gotten that amount of vibranium to put in his arm but hadn’t thought to ask. Stupid of her.

Penny took a deep breath and pushed it all too the side. The memorial for Marcus was being held in St. Patrick’s Cathedral, the church he’d frequented. It shamed her a little to realize she hadn’t even known he was a churchgoer, nor that Tamara had often gone with him.

Once inside, she slowed her mad march to gaze in awe at the space around her. The grand columns and stunning stone archways had her mouth falling open. “Wow,” she whispered. “This place is gorgeous.” The blue of the stained glass held the warmth of the fading sunlight in their soft glow. The wooden pews shone with a high polish, and the floor was gleaming grey stone.

“I came here once,” Bucky murmured, moving up beside her. “Right after… everything.”

“Yeah?” She looked up at him and watched his eyes sweep the crowd.

“Mm. Head was still messed up pretty bad. I was walkin’ ‘round the city and wound up here one night. Came in. Sat. Watched the sun come up through the glass. Couldn’t find it in me to… pray, but… it was peaceful. When I left, I knew I needed to leave the Avengers. I needed to get things straightened out in my head before I could come back.”

“And now?” she asked.

He swept his hard eyes from the room to her face, and Penny watched them soften into blue pools of affection. “Now, I’m ready. I’m here for you, Pen. Always.”

She reached for his hand and squeezed it before turning to look for Tamara. At the front, there were two large pictures of Marcus smiling back among the bouquets and urns of white lilies but no coffin. Tamara had opted to have a private interment done after the police released Marcus’s body. For now, they were holding everything as evidence in his murder investigation, but Tamara hadn’t wanted to wait.

She said she needed the closure. She needed to say goodbye. She was Marcus’s only family; his parents had passed on a few years ago.

Penny made her way through the crowd, her large, dangerous looking shadow at her hip. Bucky was very good at passing her back and forth between his hands, moving her away from large groups of people in an intricate dance of protection.

He’d told her he didn’t think they would try anything at Marcus’s memorial, but he wasn’t taking chances. Security was high. He’d handpicked the men standing discretely armed in doorways and around the chapel.

She vaguely wondered if this was how the President felt.

When they arrived at the front, she found Tamara speaking with the priest off to one side and stood to wait, her eyes drawn again to Marcus’s smiling face. “I know I shouldn’t feel responsible but…”

“Not your fault, darlin’. He dug his grave the minute he got in with Hydra.”

She glanced back at Bucky who’s head seemed to be on a swivel. “I know that. Still, I’m wondering if I’d kept all the data to myself and had all my I’s dotted and my T’s crossed first if we could have netted all the fish and kept Marcus alive,” she heaved a heavy sigh. But even as she said it, she knew it was impossible. Once they'd failed in the attempt on her life, it was only a matter of time before the clock ran out on Marcus.

Tamara excused herself from the priest and hurried over. “Penny.” Tears slipped down the woman's face as they embraced.

“I'm so sorry, Tamara,” Penny murmured.

“I wasn't sure you'd come. I mean, I know you said you would, but Marcus… he… Oh, God, Pen! I'm so sorry!”

She dragged Penny closer, and Penny held her tighter. “It wasn't your fault. Marcus fooled a lot of people.”

“I miss him. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I do.”

“Of course you do! You loved him.” Setting her away, Penny dug out a package of tissues from her purse and pressed them into Tamara’s hand. “You’re allowed to grieve, Tam.”

She plucked a tissue from the package and wiped her face. “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. I’m already such a mess.”

Penny patted her shoulder. “You can. Just take your time.”

Tamara nodded, her smile weak. “Thank you, Penny.”

The priest motioned for Tamara to return and Penny shooed her on her way, then went and chose a seat in the front pew, needing a minute to regain her composure.

Bucky crouched before her, his hand resting lightly on her knee. “You gonna be okay, Pen?”

She nodded even as she rubbed a hand over her chest. “Emotional pain, not physical. Marcus was supposed to be my friend. Now I wonder… was he ever?” When Bucky didn’t answer, she closed her eyes in regret. “Are any of my relationships real?” she whispered.

His hand tightened on her knee. “This one is,” he murmured. “You and me, baby girl. We’re real.”

“You’re the only one I trust, Buck,” Penny sighed, closing her hand over his.

“I know, sweetheart.” He turned his hand over to grasp her fingers for a split second before letting go. “I’ll be right there watchin’ the crowd. When it ends, you wait right here until I come back for you.”

“I will. Promise,” she nodded. There was a smaller gathering being held at 620 Loft & Garden after, just drinks and canapes she needed to make an appearance at, but it was just down the street, and Penny wasn’t planning on staying long. Enough to show her support for Tam and then go home so she could get back to work.

Bucky gave a sharp nod, rose, and headed for the wall to the left of the stairs leading up to the altar, and stood with his back to one of the immense stone columns.

It felt weird. He’d been practically attached to her hip this last week, and even though he was only twenty feet away from her, she felt strangely lonely without him. Then Tamara was there, taking the seat beside her, and Penny reached for her hand. She was here for her friend. That was what mattered.

Tamara wept all through the service, silent tears sliding down her face. Through the prayers and the offered blessings, even when she stood to speak about Marcus, the tears continued to flow without stopping.

Then it was Penny’s turn, and she smoothed down the front of her fitted dress as she stood and made her way to the front to stand at the microphone. The glow of the cathedral enchanted her, even as the overwhelming scent of the lilies made her slightly nauseated.

She looked out over the people, a few hundred filling the pews, and wondered how they’d all known Marcus. Most she knew from work, and she wondered if the rest were from the church congregation. “Marcus was, as we all are, flawed. He allowed himself to fall in with the wrong people, and as it always does, it went wrong. I know many of you are surprised by my presence here today, but Marcus was, first and foremost, my friend. Without him in my life, his knowledge and advice, I never would have gotten Marquis off the ground. He, Tamara, and I have been together from the beginning, and though I can’t begin to understand the why of it all, and I may never find it in myself to fully forgive him, I will miss the man who was my friend. I pray he’s at peace now. Thank you.”

She wiped a tear from beneath her eye and returned to sit with Tamara who clung to Penny’s hand until everyone who wished to speak had done so. When, finally, it was over, and Tamara had cried out a river of tears, Penny felt drained, and a headache was brewing.

Her appearance at the wake was going to be very short indeed.

“Penny?” Tamara whispered, suddenly sitting very close. “If you don’t want to come to the wake, I understand.”

“Why wouldn’t I come?” Penny asked.

“It’s just going to be booze and crying and music. A bit of a celebration of his life. I know that’s not really your scene. I’ll understand if you want to duck out.”

“I’ll come for a drink. It’s fine, Tam. We can toast Marcus’s successes. You know I don’t blame you for anything he did.”

She sighed and nodded slowly. “I appreciate that. It’s all such a… shock. Like waking up to find out the person you were with was someone completely different.” Then, in a voice so low she barely heard her, Tamara whispered, “We were going to get married at Loft & Garden. One of those surprise affairs, you know? Where you invite everyone to a party and surprise! It’s a wedding.”

“Oh, Tam.” Penny’s lip quivered when she fought back fresh tears. “I’m so sorry.”

“I kind of thought, if I can’t marry him there, at least I can say goodbye.”

Penny dragged her into a hug and held on tight. “You’ll be okay. We’ll get through this.”

***

Bucky watched and listened as Tamara pulled on Penny’s heartstrings. He wasn’t about to interrupt, but he was astounded by the woman’s audacity. _Christ_! When Pen found out how Tamara was playing her, she’d be devastated. But she really did have a shit poker face, and Bucky wasn’t sure what would happen if Tamara caught wind of the fact Penny knew.

When they finally broke apart, he lifted his wrist to his lips, informing the men on duty to begin transitioning to the next venue. They needed only half as many for the small space, but it was very open, and Bucky didn’t like it. It would be easy to take a shot at Penny from any number of locations around the garden. He would be watching her and the people of the party. The other security would be observing the windows and the world around them.

They’d swept the venue thirty minutes ago with a small team who’d stay onsight until the others arrived to relieve them and make sure no one set anything nasty after the all clear. Bucky was taking no risks when it came to Penny.

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

“Sergeant, it’s an incoming email from Shuri Udaka. Would you like me to read it to you?” Friday asked.

“Sure,” he murmured.

“She says, “You are in so much trouble, White Wolf.'" Bucky fought not to wince. “You had best have a damn fine explanation for telling your pretty white girl about our Vibranium. I will expect one when I arrive. Be thankful I admire her or I would tell my brother of your treachery. Miss Rogers innovations have inspired me often, and I look forward to finally meeting here. Princess S out.”

“Oh, crap,” Bucky sighed. “She's gonna kill me.”

“Which one? As Miss Penny has no desire to tell anyone about her condition, and it appears her Highness, Princess Shuri is unwilling to help blindly.”

“Both,” he groaned. The saying between a rock and a hard place had never been more fitting.

He headed for Penny, deciding he'd tell her about Shuri once they got home. There was time, for even if Shuri had hopped a quinjet as soon as she'd gotten his email, she'd still be four or five hours out.

“Penny. Ma'am,” Buck nodded to Tamara.

Penny rose to her feet and stepped into him. “I'll see you over there, Tam.”

The woman nodded, dabbing at her face as she walked away to speak again with the priest.

A heavy sigh from Penny had him snaking his arm around her waist. “You okay?”

“Best as I can be,” she sighed. “C'mon. Let's go so we can get this over with. Did you hear back from your friend?” she asked, a bit of bite in the words.

“Yeah. I'll tell you when we get home.”

“You're just keeping all the cards against your chest today, aren't you, Barnes?” She shot him an exasperated look and stalked off on clicking heels with him steps behind.

“You know it's not like that, Penelope,” he grumbled, guiding her to his right when a group of people congregated in the aisle to his left.

She sighed, and her heart gave a funny hop. “I know, Buck. I'm just so damn tired.”

He knew she was and placed a guiding hand against her low back.

“Can we walk? It's only across the street and up a bit. If we go out the fifth ave doors, it's right there.”

The church had too many openings had been his first thought about her coming here, hence the extra security, but all those entrances also made for exits and were why he'd eventually given in.

“Long as you stay close. Friday?” Bucky murmured, guiding her toward the exit.

“Already on it, boss.” The AI would move the vehicle to the secondary location.

He nodded to the men at the door. “We're walking.”

“Yes, sir.” They adapted quickly, sliding out the door first and taking up guard positions.

“Is this what the President puts up with?” Penny asked making Bucky chuckle.

“Worse.”

The night air was cool as they made their way across Fifth Avenue. The historic location around Rockefeller Square had always been a favourite of Bucky's, and he could see himself coming back here one day to take Penny out to the Rainbow Room. Sure it would be expensive, but the food and the view would be worth every dime.

Once inside the building, Bucky headed straight for the elevators, nodding to the men who’d followed them from the church. They’d stand watch on the main floor and walk with them to the car when Penny wanted to leave.

“I’m not planning on staying long,” she said quietly, her hand resting against his back when he assumed a position in front of her.

“That’s fine. If you can avoid lingering in the garden that would be good.”

Her hand flexed on his jacket. “Yeah. Guess I would make a pretty easy target,” she murmured.

“Pen,” Bucky sighed. “I’m not trying to scare you, but it’s the truth. Taft tried to have you killed. I don’t know if that was on Strucker’s orders or his own, but the two French assholes are still out there, and it sounds like they're not going to stop. I’m just being cautious.” Until he could put a bullet in Jean-Baptiste LeCroix and Ignacio Faucheaux’s heads, he wasn’t taking any chances with her.

“I brought my gun,” she murmured.

“Really?” he smirked over his shoulder at her. “You’re packin’, Duchess?”

A wry grin curled her lips. “Yeah, Barnes. Don’t make me shoot you in the ass to prove it.” She patted her ridiculous purse.

“If I forgot to tell you, you look sexy as fuck tonight; you look sexy as fuck tonight.” Even with slightly reddened eyes and the dark circles beneath them. Her dress was some kind of knit that rested on her shoulders, crossed over her chest, and clung to all her curves. With long sleeves and very little detail, it should have looked a lot drabber than it did in smoky black, but he found his eyes drawn to the single strap that rested on her shoulder, and wondered if she’d let him remove it later with his teeth.

Her only spot of colour was the red bottom of her shoes and the slight variation of black and red in her bag.

“Wasn’t going for sexy, Buck. This is a funeral.”

He rolled his eyes and turned back to the doors when the elevator began to slow. “It’s a memorial and doesn’t matter. You still look smokin’.”

She huffed an annoyed sound, but the rabbit pounding of her heart had slowed by the time the doors slid open.

When he stepped out, Bucky had to admit the ambiance was nice. White walls were softened out of their starkness with row upon row of candles in varying heights of glass holders. To the right, a short hallway led into an interior room set with high top tables and couches and more candles, waiters in black vests circling with silver trays full of food. To the left, a glassed-in structure led out into the garden where giant crystal spheres glowed amongst the hedges, and a bartender poured drinks for the few people already in attendance.

The wall across from the elevators was covered in black and white images of Taft. Some of just him, some of him and Tamara, and even some with Penny mixed in. It would have been heartwarming if Bucky didn’t know it was all a load of crap.

He held his hand back for Penny and led her toward the bar. “Let’s get you that drink, then find whatever smells like bacon. I want one.”

She snickered, tightly gripping his hand. “You and Steve. Still the bottomless pits.”

“Least I learned to feed myself. Little punk still mooches every chance he gets.” Out in the garden he caught sight of four of the men he’d requested, each one stationed at a corner, heads on a swivel, watching the buildings around them. Honestly, Bucky wasn’t sure what good it would do. There were just too damn many windows someone could take a pot shot from, so when he moved out into the glass tent, he tugged Penny in front of him and caged her against the bar.

It would be a lot harder to see her with all the colourful bottles of alcohol lined against the windows. Not impossible but tricky.

He could have made the shot, but he didn’t think anyone else out there would even attempt it.  

“What can I get the lady?” the bartender asked with a smile.

“Can you make a silver slipper?” Penny asked.

“You bet!” he grinned and got to work putting the drink together, eventually pouring it with a flourish into a gold rimmed glass. 

"What the heck is in that?" Bucky asked Penny.

"Brooklyn Gin, Crème de Violette, Carpano Bianco, and Lemon," Penny smirked. "A personal favourite." 

“And you, sir?” the bartender in his navy blue suit asked. 

“Scotch. Neat,” Bucky murmured, watching the people wandering the garden from the corner of his eye. "That's some drink, Pen."

"It's delicious," she said with relish.

The bar man chuckled. “There you are, and I’m to let you know there is a small memorial set up down by the reflecting pond if you’d like to light a candle for the departed.” He slid their glasses toward them before turning to help the next people.

Penny shot a glance out into the garden, then turned back toward the elevator. “Let’s get you that bacon… whatever.”

He threw back the two fingers of scotch and left the glass on the bar, to the apparent horror of the man waiting behind them. “S’good,” Bucky smirked and guided Penny away.

“Lawrence,” Penny said as they walked on, a smirk twitching her lips. Once they were past the elevators, she snickered. “You scandalized him. There’s nothing Lawrence Holstad enjoys more than savouring a well-aged scotch. Unless it’s talking about scotch.”

“Sounds like a bore,” he muttered, following his nose until a woman carrying a tray with white spoons went by. He plucked one off without her even noticing. “The fuck is this?” he asked, frowning at the thing wrapped in bacon on the ceramic spoon.

“Prune. Probably stuffed with almonds, then wrapped in bacon and baked. Try it. You’ll like it.”

Her eyes sparkled with amusement. “You’re shittin’ me. This is a prune, Penelope. Those never taste good. You eat them when you can’t crap. Who the fuck wraps a _prune_ in bacon?”

Her shoulders shook in silent laughter; her hand firmly clamped over her mouth to likely keep from braying like a donkey. “Just try it,” she gasped when she’d gained some control again. “Maybe you’ll be surprised.”

He arched a brow. “You’re fucking with me.”

“I’m not.” She shook her head.

He eyeballed the thing in his hand. “This is so weird. What’s wrong with you rich people ruinin’ perfectly good bacon.”

“Oh, for god sake!” she huffed and plucked the offending item off the spoon she then promptly bit in half. “Happy? Not choking. Not dying. Open your damn mouth, Buchannan!”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Pen. That’s gross,” he smirked.

She shoved the rest of the thing at him. “Eat. It. Or. Die.”

As she was grinding it against his lips, he had little choice but to open his mouth and take the damn thing, only to find, “Hey! That’s not half bad. Where’d that girl go?” he mumbled, looking for the woman with the spoons.

Penny rolled her eyes and sipped her drink. “Dumbass.”

He shrugged, unconcerned, and turned toward the hallway when he heard the elevator ding. The doors opened and Tamara stepped off, but it was the men getting off with her that had him grabbing Penny and dragging her out of sight around the wall. 

"Bucky?" she gasped. 

"We need to get out of here _right now_!"

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language
> 
> This update brought to you by @curiositywillbethedeathofme through Coffee Updates. Thanks for the support, luv! You rock so hard!!!

* * *

 

"Buck?" Penny hissed. "Who are they?" They weren't - as he put it - the two French assholes, so who could they be?

"The one in the middle is Strucker, and the fucker with him is a little Sokovian twatwaffle named Zemo." His hand went to his ear even as Penny felt the blood drain from her head. "Team one, respond?"

Team one were the men he’d left by the elevator. The frown he sported showed there was no answer. "Teams two and three, respond?"

Four sharp cracks echoed off the buildings surrounding them.

Penny gasped. It was an unmistakable sound, and when a woman screamed, she knew the four men in the garden were likely dead.

"Fuck!" Bucky hissed. "Friday call for backup."

He tapped his ear and swore so creatively Penny would have been impressed if she wasn't terrified. "They're blocking us calling for help."

"Looks that way," Bucky growled, dragging her toward the window. "How much do you trust me?"

"With my life," she said, already out of her heels and stepping into the flats from her purse.

Already the serving staff were rushing to get out of the way, trays crashing to the floor. Other guests were screaming, running to get in out of the garden when Tamara came around the corner.

“Penny. Dear sweet, Penny. I have someone I want to introduce you too.”

Bucky didn’t even hesitate to raise his arm and shoot at her, sending her diving behind the corner.

Shock kept Penny mute. The woman she’d called friend, the one who only days ago had sat in her living room when Penny had been having one of the worst days of her life, who’d cried with her only minutes earlier over the man she thought had betrayed them both, was unrecognizable.

Two more shots rang out as Bucky took out the glass of the window, grabbed her around the waist, and jumped. That brought Penny back to the here and now, and she screamed as they fell a full story before landing on the balcony she hadn’t known was there. He bent his knees and absorbed it like it was nothing.

“Christ, Buck!” she swore as he turned and slammed his metal fist through another window that led into the floor below the party. The people in the office shrieked as he busted through, but Bucky paid them no mind.

“Friday?” he murmured. "Still nothin'. Son of a bitch!” Before Penny could do or say anything, he swung her up into his arms and darted for the door. “They’re gonna be on us in no time.”

She wrapped her arm around his neck and reached for his hand. “Give me the gun.”

“What?” He stormed out of the office and made a beeline for the stairs.

“The gun! You can’t run, carry me, and shoot at the same time. Now give me the damn gun, Barnes!” He handed it over as they hit the open stairwell, then leapt the railing, again sending Penny’s stomach up into her heart. “Fuck! You keep doing that, and they won’t have to worry about killing me!”

Two shots rang out from above as Bucky landed on the stairs and turned them into the wall, protecting her with his body. “Take a few deep breaths, Pen. You’re heart’s all over the place.” While he spoke, he pulled the gun from his her fingers and fired off four rounds that had feet and people scurrying out of range before he swept her up and began running down the stairs.

She tried to breathe, but the whole thing had happened so fast her heart was somewhere on the fifth floor still. By the time they hit the first floor, people were running from inside, the notion there was a shooter in the building now known. Penny glanced toward the elevator where Bucky’s men should have been only to find no one there.

Then the elevators opened, and she figured out why. Two bodies lay in a pool of blood. “Oh, shit!”

“Friday!” Bucky barked. “Finally! We’ve got shooters on the roof and another pair in the building. I’ve got her, but we’re coming out fast. Did the others get here?”

“Others?” she murmured and looked up in time to watch Steve in his Cap suit stride in the door. “Steve?”

“You okay, Pen?” he called as he rushed by and headed for the stairs.

“Yeah, but-”

“No time! We’ll explain later!” He was gone up the stairs into the fray where more gunfire erupted.

“Jesus…” Penny breathed as Natasha and Clint barrelled by. “Barnes, did you plan this? Was I fucking _bait_?”

He slammed out the doors, down the stairs, and straight into the back seat of the black SUV. “Pen…”

She reared back and slapped him.

His eyes went hard, and the car pulled away from the curb. “No, I didn’t plan this. No, you weren’t fucking bait! I wouldn’t do that, Pen!”

“Sergeant Barnes made it clear if I lost contact at any time I was to call for backup. I could not contact you to let you know Strucker and Zemo were in the building, but I could call the Avengers. So I did,” Friday explained.

“Oh,” Penny whispered. “Sorry… I just… you could have told me about Tamara.”

Bucky sighed and shook his head. “No, baby, I couldn’t. You needed to get through the memorial and all that without her suspecting you knew. But I didn’t think they would pull this big a stunt. Christ! Strucker _and_ Zemo? What the hell?” He thrust his hand through his hair twice, his anxiety over it all easy to see.

“I don’t know, Buck. Hopefully, they’ll come out with Zemo and Strucker and Tamara, and we’ll finally get some ans-” Her voice ended when something in her chest snapped. White hot pain ripped through her, and she collapsed to the side. “Buck…”

***

“Pen!” he screamed, watching her skin turn grey. “Penny, no! You can’t do this to me, baby!”

“Sergeant! Hold on!” Friday barked before the car sped up and began to weave in and out of traffic. “She is having a heart attack. There is only one way to save her now.”

“Shit, shit, shit!” He dragged her into his lap and stroked her hair back from her clammy skin. “You can’t leave me, Pen.”

“Buck,” she whispered, her eyes wild with pain. “Love… you.”

“No!” he shook his head. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to say goodbye! I’m not dealin’ with Stevie when he finds out about this by myself! Hold on, Pen!”

She nodded minutely. “Try…”

“You better try,” he growled. “I refuse to give up on you. You better not quit on me.”

They arrived with a squeal of tires. Bucky leapt from the back and raced into the building, ignoring all the security people as he ran for the elevators. One was opening as he got there, and he thanked Friday, knowing she was controlling things.

It practically flew up to the R&D floor, and he ran from it, straight for her lab, ignoring the people gasping and crying out at the look of her. Everything opened and closed for him, Friday entirely in charge as he skidded onto the secret elevator and rode it down to her lair.

“On the bed, Sergeant. Quickly.”

“Tell me what to do, Friday,” he murmured, laying Penny down before quickly stripping her to her underwear.

“Step back. I can take it from here.”

He watched in awe as the table came to life. Tubes and instruments began to function on their own, and before he knew it, Penny was sedated, a steady stream of blue liquid pouring into her from an IV that went straight into her neck.

“For the moment, I can keep her stable, but if Princess Shuri cannot build her a vibranium heart, Penelope will die.”

“Fuck!” Bucky hissed, sinking into a chair where he set his head in his hands.

“I may also be able to cure the infection.”

“What?” he gasped, sitting back.

“It appears the combination of your serum and the Captain’s is enough to kill the virus, but Penny’s heart is too damaged to survive the transformation.”

“Transformation? I don’t understand.”

The lights in the room lowered, and more technobabble appeared on the walls. “You and Steve both changed physically when the serum was administered; Penny has not. The reason for this is she left out the secondary element of Vita radiation. Penny was not trying to become a super soldier, only cure her disease. If we dose her with both forms of serum and hit her with the radiation, it should wipe out the viral infection destroying her heart. However, it would also kill the heart she currently has.”

“What about one of her artificial hearts?” he asked, coming to his feet to move closer and take Penny’s hand.

“The radiation would blow out the circuitry. The heart must be vibranium to withstand the shock. The metal can absorb and redirect the energy created.”

"And when it's all said and done?" he asked.

"She will be as super-powered as you and her brother are."

Bucky wiped the tears from his face and nodded. “Alright. She be okay if I go up to make a few phone calls?”

“I will watch over her.”

He took a long look at her pale face, covered her with a sheet from the end of the table, bent to place a kiss on her forehead, then headed for the elevator. It looked like he was going to be dealing with Steve on his own after all.

***

Bucky rubbed his jaw, sore now from where Steve had punched him.

"Of all the stupid, selfish, irresponsible things to do, she goes and keeps this from me? And you let her?" Still in his suit and packing his shield, Steve was pissed to the extreme.

"She wanted to try everything she could first. She was afraid, Steve. She wanted to make sure she could answer all your questions if… if the worst happened."

Eyes like sharp blue stones swung his way. "And you're supposed to be my damn brother! I expected better from you."

Bucky straightened to his full height. "Don't start with me, Steve. I've been pushing her to tell you since the second I found out, but she's as stubborn and pigheaded as you! She's a damn Rogers to the bone, and you weren't the one standing here watching her break down over betrayal after betrayal only to pick herself up and go on. You don't know the half of what she's been through, so shut your fucking pie hole!"

He gripped the handle before the elevator could slam to a stop, failing to tell Steve who damn near fell on his ass, and stalked into Penny's lair where Shuri was already working.

The moment he'd left and made the main floor, he called Shuri and told her everything. She'd pushed the jet hard and arrived within ten minutes, barking orders to the men with her, directing them to collect her equipment.

Bucky had never been so thankful for a woman's tendency to overpack before. It looked like she'd brought half her lab with her, and when they'd arrived in Penny's secret lab, she'd looked impressed, muttering about seeing if T'challa would let her build one in Wakanda.

One look at Penny had wiped all the amusement from her face. Then Friday began speaking, causing Shuri to stare before the two females devolved into a language so far over Bucky's head, he left Shuri and her staff to call Steve.

Steve hadn't taken the news well. He'd cracked his phone and had to borrow Natasha's when he found out, prompting Nat to threaten bodily harm if Steve damaged hers. Of course, when Nat found out the reason for Steve's ire, she turned her threats of physical harm to Bucky.

When Steve came off the elevator after him, the shield hit the ground with a sharp clang that rang through the room and drew every eye to Cap.

"Penny…" Steve whispered, his face bleached white. "No."

"Captain Rogers," Shuri smiled gently. "I assure you it looks worse than it is."

Bucky wasn't so sure of that.

"Shuri, thank you for coming," Steve murmured, crossing the room to take Penny's hand. "How bad is it?"

"Your sister has created some fascinating tech here. The table along with her AI has put her into a low-level stasis allowing the machines to fight the virus, oxygenate her blood, and pump it through her body at a rate that is keeping her alive. It is quite brilliant as she is neither on bypass or intubated."

"I don't understand how this happened…" Steve whispered, stroking his hand over Penny's head.

"The virus is a nasty piece of work. After discussing it with Friday, running new scans, and hashing through the plan, I believe the vibranium heart is her best option. We can do it, but it will be painful, for once we combine the serums, she must be irradiated immediately, or the virus will have time to adjust to Sergeant Barnes' particular cocktail. There will be no keeping her sedated for that part. Even now, it is a steady stream of drugs and your serum that are keeping her alive and under."

"Jesus," Steve gasped and turned away.

"It's what she wants, Steve. It's what we've been working toward this last week. What she's been looking for for months," Bucky murmured.

"Buck, I'm angry enough to throw you through a wall right now. Don't talk to me about what she wants! You never wanted anything to do with her!" he shouted.

Again Bucky drew himself up and stared down his friend. "Yeah, well, things changed. We realized we both fucked up and hurt each other when we were younger. We figured it out, Steve. We made up."

"Made up? The fuck does that mean?" Steve snarled, striding around the table.

"It means I love her, asshole! I've loved her since she was seventeen and fucked it up! But not you, or her broken heart, or God himself will take her from me now because I'm not giving up. So sit down, shut your trap, and let Shuri help fix her!" he bellowed, ready to take a swing if Steve got up in his face.

However, when the anger fell from Steve's face, replaced by a mocking smirk, Bucky almost hit him anyway. "About damn time, dumbass."

"You son of a bitch," Bucky sighed. "How long have you known?"

"Ugh, duh? Since you mooned and moped around the house after her seventeenth birthday. And you weren't exactly subtle every time you stood up and walked away, only to ask Sam or Nat if they knew if she was seeing someone," Steve grinned and grabbed him into a hug. "Took you long enough."

"Shut up," he groaned and hugged back, pounding a fist against Stevie's spine. "Asshole."

"Aw, nice bromance," Shuri quipped, smirking at them. "Now. I have work. Get out."

"I'm not going anywhere," they said at the same time.

"Yes," Shuri stared them down, "you are. I have work. You two clucking in the background will disturb me. I will have someone call you when the heart is ready."

"You're sure you can do this, Shuri?" Bucky asked softly, his attention firmly on the woman pale and seemingly lifeless on the table.

"I wouldn't have said I could if I couldn't. It will take a few hours to mould the heart and get everything ready for the surgery. Go. Get cleaned up. I will call you before we begin."

There was a softness in her voice and an understanding smile on her face when Bucky looked at her. "Thanks, Highness."

She rolled her eyes, flipped him off, and turned back to his task. "Get out of my sight, White Wolf. You will still have to contend with my brother. Don't make me take his side."

He chuckled even as he forced himself away. He knew Penny was in the best hands, the only hands that could save her, but that didn't make it any easier to leave her alone. Still, he got on the elevator with Steve and rode it back up to the R&D floor.

"We're still gonna go a round about you keeping this from me, but I'll hold off till later."

Bucky sighed. "I know. I swear, Steve. I was gonna make her tell you or I would have told you myself. This was unexpected."

"Considering you jumped my baby sister out a window, I'm not surprised she had a heart attack."

"Christ, Steve!" he shouted. "I was tryin' to save her from a fucking bullet!"

Steve held up his hands. "I know, Buck. I'm just… processing."

He sighed and nodded. "Well, now that you've caught Zemo and Tamara we should hopefully get some answers. Wish you'd picked up Strucker."

"Natasha's with Tamara now, and Sam managed to grab Ignacio Faucheaux. We'll hopefully have LaCroix soon too."

The French asshole worried him more than Strucker did at the moment, but Bucky couldn't think about him now, not when as soon as they stepped outside Penny's main floor lab, they were met by two angry FBI agents and a scowling Detective.

A handful of Penny's staff hovered, hoping for word of her condition. No one even second guessed Bucky bringing her to Marquis rather than a hospital. All suspected Penny had better equipment than most of them had ever seen. And as Bucky was her head of security, no one questioned him when he barked orders and cleared Shuri and her team.

"Sergeant Barnes. I'm getting mighty tired of you shooting up the city," McGilvery scowled.

"I'm only firing back. Scowl at the assholes coming after Penelope." Bucky was _mighty_ _tired_ of the man getting up in his face.

"We need to speak with Miss Rogers," Barrow said, speaking over McGilvery when the man made to reply.

"As my sister is in no shape to speak with anyone, you can talk to me." Steve stepped forward, his face hard and set in his Captain grimace.

"Captain Rogers. Is Miss Rogers going to be alright?" Markov asked a little starry-eyed when she stared at Steve.

"We're hopeful, but she's in critical condition." This he said loud enough for her staff to hear, most devolving into worried whispers. "We lost two men tonight, and have four more in critical condition. Shield is now taking charge of this investigation as Hydra sent one of their top men for my sister. You three can go."

Bucky bit his tongue to keep from laughing at the looks on all three of them.

"That's not how it works, Captain," Markov said, her tone indicating she was trying to be diplomatic.

Steve only arched a brow. "Ma'am, I know damn well you've already gotten orders to cease your investigation. The fact that you're still here indicates you're damn good at your job, something I can respect, but where Hydra is involved? That's _my_ jurisdiction. Stand down."

"The FBI would like access to Ignacio Faucheaux as he and his partner are wanted for numerous crimes not pertaining to Hydra."

"And when Shield finishes with him, you can have him. Now, if you'll excuse us, the Sergeant and I are needed in a debrief while we wait for them to prep Penny for surgery." Steve stepped into her, forcing Markov to give ground.

"The NYPD still needs statements-" McGilvery interjected only to have Steve turn that hard cold stare on him.

"No, Detective, you don't."

Even Bucky felt the chill run down his spine with Steve's words.

"This isn't up for debate!" Steve snapped when all three looked about to protest. "My sister is lying on a bed," he flung his arm at the locked-down door behind him, "in that room fighting for her life while my team interrogates the people responsible! Now, get the fuck out of my way before I see each of you receives a formal reprimand for badgering the family of the victim!"

They parted like the Red Sea.

Bucky choked back a snort of amusement, having seen Steve like this more than once. It always tickled him when people just _moved_ like magnets had ripped them back away from him. The seriousness of his best friend’s words kept it from breaking free.

Penny could still die. That was the cold hard truth, and it terrified him.

As he made to follow Steve, McGilvery couldn't help but get in one last shot. "Guess you sucked as a bodyguard."

Before Bucky could respond, Steve rounded on him and punched him square in the nose, sending McGilvery reeling.

"That does it, Detective! I will be filing a formal complaint with your Captain! I warned you last time about pressing your luck. This time you've gone too far! Bucky is the _only_ reason she's still alive, so shut your fucking mouth and get the hell outta my sight!"

"Mark. Brad. Show the Detective out," Bucky snarled, waving over two men from building security. "On second thought, show them all out." He levelled a hard stare at Barrow when the Agent looked to be gearing up for a verbal spar. "Let your Director know he can contact ours with any further requests for interagency cooperation." Then he smirked at McGilvery. "Might want to get that nose checked. It looks like America just punched you in it."

Steve rolled his eyes as someone snickered, then stalked off, Bucky quick to join him after shooting a look at two more security guards who went back to standing before the lab door. No one would be getting in or out with Friday manning the door, but they made that clear to everyone else.

When his phone rang, Bucky pulled it out and winced to find Natasha’s name on his screen. “Red?”

“Barton’s on his way.”

He arched a brow and shot a glance at Steve. “Why?”

“He’s bringing a change of clothes for Steve and the recording of my first interview with Miss Smith. How’s Penny?”

“Stable for the moment. Shuri’s got a plan.” He glanced at Steve, still marching through the R&D division, heading - likely - for the elevator that would take him to Penny’s office. It was the second most secure location in the building.

“Of course she does. Steve threaten to kick your ass yet?”

“He punched me in the face,” Bucky grumbled. A smirk twitched the corner of Steve’s mouth.

“Good. You deserve it.” She hung up on him without further comment.

“Looks like I may not be the only one taking a swing at you,” Steve murmured, striding out the doors of R&D and heading for the elevator at the end of the hall.

“She can try,” he snorted. “Doesn’t mean I’ll _let_ her hit me.”

“I should tell her you said that.”

He refused to flinch - or beg - and walked on the elevator. “Seems there’s somethin’ to see on Tamara’s interview.”

“She was the weak link,” Steve agreed. “There’s no way she was trained as a Hydra agent. She didn’t even try to fight when we got there. Strucker was gone down the side of the building, leaving Zemo behind to fend us off. I don’t get what she had to do with all this. I thought she and Pen were friends?”

He shook his head, and Bucky sighed. “After LaCroix took out Taft, I had Friday transfer all his files to a secure location, figurin’ these _others_ that were involved would probably try and destroy the evidence.”

“And?”

“Smith was the one who broke into his office and ran his files through a virtual shredder. She knew exactly what she was doing. We’re going to need to go through her files too.”

“Already on it. Agents from Shield are seizing the documents as we speak.”

Bucky scrubbed his hands over his face. “I think I’ve got it figured, but until we see Tamara’s interview…”

“You want to fill me in?”

He nodded but said nothing as the doors opened on the dark cubicles, everyone gone for the night. Once he was sure no one was working late, he headed for Penny’s office at a near jog. “Smith and Taft helped Pen get this place off the ground. After the first few years when it really started to take off, Tamara convinced Pen she needed a will, something concrete that spelled out her wishes should anything happen to her. In it, she stated everything was to go to you, Steve.”

“What?” he barked. “What the hell was I supposed to do with it?”

“Nothing. You owned it, but Taft was stated as having control over what happened with her inventions. He got to choose the direction of the company. Now, we figured out that he’s been syphoning off money from Pen’s company for years. He’s been using Marquis to wash Hydra’s dirty money.”

Steve sat on Penny’s couch hard enough to make the springs creak and protest the weight. “Christ! I can’t even imagine…” He shook his head. “I know Taft’s been all up her ass lately about taking the company public, but she’s not interested in having a board sticking their noses in her projects.”

“And she’s got a few of those she _really_ doesn’t want people to know about,” Bucky muttered, dropping in her desk chair. “You’re not gonna believe what she’s been up to, Steve.”

The blond pinched the bridge of his nose. “What?” he asked, resignation and exasperation clear to hear.

“She’s been bleeding Hydra dry.”

Steve frowned. “What? How?”

He smirked, proud of her even though he still wanted to shake her. “Research. She goes to all these fancy galas, figures out who’s really a Hydra front, then puts together an anonymous file for the Attorney General that shows all their dealings. She’s been doing it for years.”

Steve looked strangely proud and annoyed. “How much?”

Bucky grinned. “Nine hundred and forty-six.”

“Nearly a million? Well, that’s not exactly pocket change but to an organization like Hydra… what?” he asked frowning when Bucky laughed.

“A million? Ha! She’s taken nearly a _billion_ bucks from them, Steve. It’s a hell of a lot more than pocket change!” He roared with laughter at the look on Steve’s face.

“Holy shit!” he hissed. Then snickered and shook his head. “That’s impressive.”

“Yeah. She’s fucking impressive. The brain on her, Steve.” Bucky knew the smirk on his face was stupid, but he couldn’t help it. She was just… amazing.

“I’ve been tellin’ you that for years, jerk.”

“Punk.”

“Bitch.”

“Hey, hey, now,” Clint smirked, coming through the office door with a duffle in one hand and stack of pizza boxes in the other, “is that any way to talk to the guy bringing the food?”

Even with Penny only a few floors away about to undergo major life-saving surgery, Bucky couldn’t deny the growl of his stomach. His metabolism rarely let him go for long before reminding him to eat.

Steve stood and accepted the duffle bag. “Thanks, Clint.”

“Anytime, Cap,” Barton nodded. “How’s Penny?”

“Stable for the moment,” Steve said, heading for Penny’s bathroom. “Don’t let Buck eat all the pizza while I shower.”

“Then you’d better hurry up,” Bucky grumbled, snagging the boxes from Barton.  

“Do you really want to give me a second reason to kick your ass?” Steve muttered before the door shut and the shower turned on.

Clint sat in Steve’s vacated seat as Bucky settled across from him, held up his hands to grab Bucky’s attention and signed _How is she really_?

Bucky sighed. _It’s her heart. Shuri has to replace it with one of vibranium._

 _Vibranium?_ Clint’s eyes were huge.

_She’s sick. Has been for a long time. The only way to save her is to make her like us._

“Shit,” Clint hissed. “He’s okay with that?” he asked, throwing a look at the bathroom door.

“I don’t think so, but it’s the only way to save her life. We don’t have any other options.”

Clint frowned, his hands once more in motion. _And if she’d told someone about it before it got this bad?_

 _It wouldn’t have made a difference. She’s so smart. After watching her work, listening to her talk, the only one who could have saved Penny, is Penny. Shuri’s plan came out of Penny’s AI, and as Penny built the AI, it’s pretty much straight out of Penny’s brain._ Bucky looked down at his hands before signing, _Her heart stopped. Just stopped and there was nothing I could do. I’ve never felt that helpless. Even… even when…_

Clint reached across the coffee table and grabbed Bucky’s wrist. “You’ve been doing everything you could. She’s alive, and we’re all going to see she stays that way. This isn’t on you, Buck. You didn’t know she was sick.”

“She just kept pushing…” Moisture burned his eyes, making Bucky look quickly away.

“She’s Penny. Of course she kept pushing. She’s like the female version of Steve,” Clint smirked and flipped open the top of a pizza box.

Grateful for the segue that allowed him to get his emotions back under control, Bucky murmured, “She’s an amazing woman.”

“Took you long enough to figure that out,” the archer snorted.

“I figured it out when she was seventeen.”

Clint’s head snapped up. “Excuse you? What does that mean?”

He shrugged and stole the slice of pizza out from under Clint’s fingers. “Nothin’. But feel free to tell Nat I figured it out, and I fixed it.”

A furrow formed between Clint’s brows. “Wait. Does that mean you and Penny are an item? You and Penny - I don’t date - Rogers? Does Steve know?”

Bucky tried not to bristle at Clint’s words. Penny’s past and secrets were hers to tell, but he didn’t like how it made her sound like she was cold or frigid. She was neither of those things, just traumatized and scared. “Yeah. Punk got up in my face and got told.”

“Is that when he punched you in the face?” he smirked, biting into a piece of pepperoni.

Bucky sat back and bit into his slice. “He punched me when I told him about her heart.”

“And you deserved it,” Steve called from the bathroom.

“It’s the only free shot you’re getting, Rogers. Remember that,” Bucky said, rolling his eyes.

The door swung open revealing Steve in jeans and a white t-shirt, water still dripping from his hair. “You hurt my baby sister and I’ll be claiming another.”

“And big brother Steve makes an appearance,” Clint snickered. “You got time for dinner and a show, Cap?” he asked.

Steve looked as intrigued as Bucky felt. “Let’s see it.”

“Jarvis said he’d transfer the file to Friday. Who’s Friday?” Clint asked.

“Penny’s AI. Friday?” Bucky murmured.

“I’m here, Sergeant. Penny is currently in stable condition, and Princess Shuri is a third of the way through creating the heart.”

“Thanks, darlin’. You get a file for me from Jarvis?”

“I did. Would you like me to play it?” A screen appeared over Penny’s desk.

He nodded. “Please.”

“Very well.” The interview began instantly.

Across from a handcuffed Tamara, her hair disheveled but otherwise apparently unscathed, Natasha sat with a file folder.

“Miss Smith. Why don’t we start with an easy on. How long have you been working for Hydra?” Nat asked.

Tamara only smiled. “Lawyer.”

“You’re an enemy of the state, Tamara, and in Shield custody. I’m sure as a lawyer yourself you’re aware of what that means?”

The smile slipped. “Enemy of the state? That… no! I demand representation!”

Nat shrugged. “Thanks to the Accords signed seven years ago, anyone with ties to Hydra - the organization or its known associates - are considered enemies of the state until proven otherwise. Thus, you are a terrorist which means while under Shield custody, you are stripped of all rights given to United States citizens. Now, if you choose to cooperate, your circumstances can change.”

“I was never comfortable with that law,” Steve grumbled. “Now, I’m kind of glad it's there.”

“Tony’s not always an idiot,” Bucky agreed.

Clint shushed them as Nat was speaking again. “Why don’t you tell me how you and Taft got mixed up with Hydra. It’s clear neither of you were operatives.”

Pale and shaking, Tamara clenched her teeth. “We were approached a few years into Marquis. Marcus had gotten into some financial trouble. He… gambled with the wrong people. They told him he could pay off his debt if he ran their money through Marquis. It was easy. Money was Marcus’s business and Penny never cared. She was too busy saving the world to notice.

Then they wanted him to wash more money, and more money. It was so easy, he started skimming a little for himself to cover the gambling losses that weren’t being forgiven any more until the numbers were nearly impossible for him to make balance. If Penny had only taken the company public like we wanted, no one would ever have been the wiser, but she refused. Then the IRS audit was going to happen, and he knew he couldn’t cover up what he’d embezzled.”

“So he hires hitmen?” Nat asked. “That seems… extreme.”

Tamara sighed. “It wasn’t his idea. Zemo decided. He’s the one Marcus worked for. He figured, seeing as how Penny was leaving Marcus in charge of the company, then they could have free rein with Penny’s tech and make a fortune when they took the company public and began charging for her products. Add to how much pleasure it gave him to be using Captain America’s sister’s company against them and Zemo was almost giddy with the idea. He hired the hitmen to make it look like corporate espionage gone wrong.”

“And you just happened to tell them all about Penny’s will?”

Her head snapped up. “No! Zemo found the file in my home office! I didn’t know anything about him until he showed up with Marcus. Then he threatened to have me disbarred if I didn’t do what he said.” She flushed and looked down at her hands. “I liked to party in university more than I let on. Zemo had pictures of me. The trifecta of fuckery. Drugs, alcohol, and sex. After, I did what I was told."

Natasha simply stared at her for a long, pregnant moment before speaking. "You should have gone into acting. You could have made a fortune."

Unable to hold it in, Bucky chuckled, "That a girl," knowing Nat would see through the bullshit.

"You weren't blackmailed, you were planted. Planted to become Penny's friend. Planted to introduce Taft to the wrong people. Planted by Hydra to eventually destroy the person closest to Captain America. Unfortunately, you underestimated Penny surviving your little hit squad," Nat smirked then flipped open the file. "Tamara Smith isn't even your real name. Is it, Sacha?"

The woman across the table froze. "I… that's not my name."

"Sacha Yula Zemo is the name you were born with." Natasha closed the folder, looked up, and smiled like the widowmaker she was. "We already ran the DNA. I hope you had a chance to catch up with dear old dad before Taft's funeral because I promise you won't be seeing him again for a _very_ long time."

Tamara, now Sacha, went wild, screaming and swearing and cussing Nat out, dragging at her handcuffs before Nat snapped her arm across the table and clocked the woman in the jaw, sending her crashing unconcious back into her seat. Then looked up at the camera and shrugged, as if to say, what choice did she have?

"Fuck me," Bucky murmured when the image vanished. "They've been playing the long game this whole time."

Clint grunted his agreement. "Zemo's not talking, or he wasn't when I left, but we'll get to the bottom of this. Everyone will be here in an hour to wait while Penny has surgery; then we'll get back at it once we know she's going to be okay."

"That's…" Steve's eyes looked suspiciously wet. "Really thoughtful."

"C'mon, Cap. We're family. Penny's important to all of us." Clint patted Steve's shoulder. "No one's going anywhere until Shuri says Penny will be okay."

"Why don't we take the food down to the employee lounge on the R&D level and wait for the others to join us?" Bucky offered. He wanted to be closer to where Penny was when the time came. Her office was too damn far as far as he was concerned.

"Yeah," Steve cleared his throat. "Yeah, let's do that."

While Clint grabbed the last remaining pizza box, Bucky set his hands on Steve's shoulders. "She's gonna make it, Steve."

Steve swallowed thickly. "You don't know that."

"I do. She's too damn stubborn not to. I made her promise me she'd fight."

When Steve looked up, it was like they were kids again, idiot teenagers faced with the reality that Steve's parents were dead and Penny had almost gone with them."If I lose her now…"

"We won't." Bucky dragged him in, held him tight, and said nothing when Steve tucked his face into Bucky's shoulder, and the collar of his shirt grew damp.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: angst and fluff
> 
> This update brought to you by @momo through Coffee Updates. Thanks for the support!  
> One more update on the Current Requests list, coming next week.

* * *

 

Bucky pulled a chair over, sat, took Penny's hand, and brought it to his lips. "Hey baby," he murmured lips against her knuckles. "Shuri's got your heart ready." Penny didn't move, still sedated, Friday and all the machines keeping her alive. "I know Stevie was already down here sayin' his peace, but I needed a minute of my own." She looked tiny and sick, her body struggling to stay alive, and it brought tears to his eyes. "I need you to live, baby girl. I need you to fight and come back. I need you like I've never needed anyone. You can't leave me, Pen. You hear me? You can't leave me here alone, not after everything we've been through. I need you to come back, and I swear I'll take you to Paris soon as the doc says I can, but you've gotta live, Duchess. You've gotta live." 

Bucky sniffed back tears and pressed a kiss to her hand. "You're probably gonna be so pissed at me when you wake up. I'm not sorry everybody knows. I'm not sorry about that. I'm sorry this is gonna hurt. I know you probably never wanted to turn out like Steve or me. But… I'm glad because I need you to live, Pen. I need you to come back to me," he whispered, voice thick with tears. 

He stood and bent over the table, gently stroking her hair while still gripping her hand. "I love you so damn much, Penelope Grace." He placed a kiss on her brow and another on her unresponsive lips. "You come back to me," he whispered, fighting to contain his fears. 

The sound of Shuri returning had him glancing at the black and gold heart currently pumping saline through its chambers, hanging in a box across the room. 

It looked stable. Strong. Steady. They need only give it to Penny. He continued to stroke Penny's hair as he asked Shuri, "You're sure about this?"

Shuri appeared beside him. "As I just finished explaining to the others, yes. This is our best chance, even as it is our only chance. Penny is running out of time, James. It must be now."

"I just…"

She laid her hand on his arm. "You love her."

"I do."

Shuri smiled at him. "Then let me help her. I do not want to lose her either. I had no idea she was capable of this." She waved at the room. "Your woman is even smarter than I expected. I want the chance to pick her brain."

Bucky chuckled and shook his head. "She's pretty damn smart."

"She had this plan worked out in bits and pieces already. It only took the power of her AI to put all the pieces together. I'm just doing the grunt work."

"I want to be here when you wake her to do the final serum transfer."

"Barnes…" Shuri looked torn.

"She's gonna be so scared, Shuri. Please? It should be me here telling her it's gonna be okay. That we have to do it to save her and kill the virus."

She studied him for a long moment before giving a reluctant nod. "Alright, but you can't rush in or interrupt the process once it starts. It will hurt her, James. There is nothing I can do about that."

"I know it will hurt better than you do, Princess."

She made to make a scathing retort, only to pause and peer at him. "Yes, I suppose you do. But for now, I must replace her heart. You need to leave. This will take a while."

"You got an estimate?"

"Two hours, barring any complications."

"That long?"

"It usually takes four. I'm just that good," Shuri smirked.

"Not to mention the technological advances of this place and Wakanda," Bucky snorted.

"Get out, White Wolf. It is time for me and mine to work."

He released Penny's hand slowly and carefully returned it to the table before pressing another kiss to her lips. "Come back to me, Duchess." He straightened and drew Shuri into a hug. "Thank you for everything."

"I'm still letting you deal with T'Challa. He's going to be pissed when he finds out about the Vibranium I stole."

"He'll get over it."

She pulled back and patted his cheek. "To know you've rejoined the world and once more smile at life because of your Penny? He would have gladly given it."

Bucky nodded and hurried away, struggling with his tears. Once on the elevator, he wiped his face, but they just kept coming. “Friday, stop the lift.” It slowed to a halt, and he slid to his knees, finally falling to sit with his head in his hands and let the tears pour out. 

Broken sobs shook his shoulders, made his chest ache, and took all his air, making it hard to breathe. 

“Sergeant? Do you require assistance?” Friday asked.

He shook his head, “No,” and swiped his arm under his nose, but still, the tears wouldn’t stop. 

What was he going to do if she didn’t make it? What would he do if he lost her? How would he go on? If Penny didn’t survive this, he would never forgive himself. 

***

Penny’s eyes fluttered open, but she squinted against the blinding light. There was a hand gently brushing her hair, her head lying on someone’s lap. She blinked a couple of times to clear her vision and frowned when the place came into focus. 

The furniture was all familiar, as were the pictures on the walls, and the rug on the floor. Then she looked up, and tears filled her eyes. “Mom?”

“Hey, baby,” she smiled. 

“Am I dead?” Penny whispered. "Stevie's going to kill me if I'm dead."

“No, baby,” Sarah chuckled. “And if your friends have anything to say about it, you’ll be fine.”

Penny closed her eyes. “My friends. Were any of my relationships real?”

“Oh, Pen, of course, they were. Just because two fell apart and proved themselves false doesn’t mean the rest will. Besides, you’ve got your brother,” a sly smile curled her lips, “and James.”

Penny’s eyes popped open. “You know about that?”

"You don't think I check in on my baby girl once in a while?" she smirked. "And, the boy next door has turned into a fine man. I'm happy for you, Penelope."

Penny smiled and relaxed, loving the gentle petting and the way her mother's nails caressed her scalp. "Why am I here, Mom?"

"Because you're sitting on the fence, Pen. It's time to get off."

"I don't understand."

"You have great potential, Penny baby, but you hide behind what happened. You've built up so many walls. I wanted to make sure you didn't miss out on something amazing because you're afraid."

"I'm not afraid anymore. Bucky is a good man."

"I know." Sarah cupped her cheek. "Remember that. Lean on that."

"I will. I love you, Mom."

"And we love you, baby girl. Your Dad and I are so proud of all you and Steve have accomplished."

"Is Dad here?" she asked, looking around the living room of their former home.

"He wanted to come, baby, but only one of us could."

Penny nodded. "I see." She wasn't sure why it was so easy just to accept all that was happening instead of fight the miracle moment with science and logic, but it was. 

"It's time for you to go now," Sarah whispered, sending a tear trickling down Penny's cheek.

"I don't want to."

Sarah placed a kiss on Penny's forehead. "But you have to."

"Mom…?" 

"Yeah, baby?"

Penny gripped her hand. "I miss you so much."

"We miss you too, baby, but now isn't your time." Sarah squeezed her hand, and Penny had to squint against the growing brightness.

"Bye, Mom," she whispered.

***

Shuri stood back with a relieved sigh. "She's back. Now let's start testing this heart."

***

Someone had brought food, likely Nat, or maybe Tony had ordered it in, but he could smell it as Bucky stood staring out the window at the dark New York skyline. 

He’d pulled himself together after his moment in the elevator and made his way to the R&D lounge where the others were waiting. Everyone was there gathered around Steve, bolstering him, encouraging him. Bucky hadn’t wanted to intrude and snuck across the room to sit on a sofa, metal hand covering his eyes. 

Then the couch dipped beside him. “Hey.”

He peeked out at Steve. “Pal?”

“I’m sorry for making it sound like this was your fault. It’s not your fault, Buck.” 

His vision blurred with tears. “She should have had six months, Steve. She should have-” Bucky’s voice broke as the tears he fought so hard against won out. 

Steve lunged for him and dragged him into an embrace that would have been bone crushing for anyone else. “Don’t. Don’t you do that. Don’t you blame yourself for something someone else started. You saved her life and likely saved it again because you knew what the fuck was going on when it happened. Without you, Buck…” He shivered and breathed out a hard breath. “Without you, we could have lost her altogether.”

Bucky buried his face against Steve’s shoulder and hugged back with the same bone-cracking force. 

After, everyone gathered around them. Nat slung her arms around his neck and hugged him over the back of the sofa while the rest spread out to wait. 

Two hours had never gone by so slowly in his life.  

Eventually, he’d had to move away from the couch to lean against the window where he could breathe without someone asking if he needed anything. They were hovering now that they knew he was more to Penny than just her protection, and he was feeling suffocated.

It had been just him for so long; then it was the two of them against the world. Him and Penny. A pair. It had only been days together, just days, but he couldn’t imagine spending one more without her, not after finally getting her back. 

She’d brought him back, given him life, made him whole. He felt more alive with her than he had since Russia. 

Bucky let his forehead fall against the window. If he lost her…

The sound of Penny’s lab doors opening had his head lifting. Then he turned to face Shuri as she came into the lounge. 

Steve jumped to his feet. “Shuri?”

The woman took a deep breath, then smiled. “The transplant went well.”

Bucky’s legs went out from under him, and he slid down the window. 

“We had a small complication in the beginning when we began the surgery, but so far everything looks good. Sergeant now is the time. We cannot wait, or the virus will begin to attack the stem cells we’ve bound to the vibranium.”

“Time for what?” Steve asked. 

Bucky dragged his hands over his face and lurched to his feet. “Shuri has to wake her up for this last part. I’m gonna explain what’s happening.” 

“Buck, I can do that.”

He looked hard at Steve and shook his head. “She doesn’t know you know. She may fight you. Be confused and disoriented.” 

“He’s right, Steve,” Shuri said, rubbing a hand on his arm. “And I don’t want you down there until we finish.”

“Shuri!” Steve growled. 

“Captain, sit!” she barked.  

Steve sat. It made Bucky smile for the first time in hours. 

He followed Shuri out the door and back into Penny’s public lab before Friday locked them in and opened the elevator door. “How is she really?”

Shuri shot him a look. “White Wolf…”

“She made me medical power of attorney for a reason, Princess.”

She arched a brow. “Considering you look worse for wear than her brother, I am not sure telling you would be a good idea.”

He gripped the handle in the elevator so hard, the metal screamed. “Shuri.”

“She coded when we first opened her up.”

“Oh, God…” Bucky whispered, his heart leaping to his throat. 

She took his flesh hand and squeezed it. “We got her back, took out her failed heart and put in the new one. It’s working as it should, but the longer we wait to do this, the more likely it is the virus will have a chance to attack the new heart. I've never seen anything so aggressive before.”

“Okay.” He swallowed thickly and bent his knees to absorb the impact of the sudden stop at the bottom. 

When the doors slid open, he felt like the elevator landed a second time taking the legs right out from under him. Only the death grip on the handle kept him upright. 

As white as the table she lay on, Penny looked like death. Even across the room, he could see the dark circles leaving bruises beneath her eyes, but it was the bright red slice down the center of her chest that disappeared beneath the sheet, more scar than wound with Shuri’s tech, that made him want to scream and take down all of Hydra. 

“James,” Shuri murmured. 

“Yeah, right. I’m coming.” He forced his legs to work, ignoring the implements around him that had been used to open the woman on the table, as well as the bowl covered in a white cloth stained red with Penny’s blood. 

At her side, he glanced up at all the monitors, reading through her vitals, noting the improvement, and took Penny’s hand. 

Shuri walked around the other side, a glass tablet in hand. “Alright, Friday. Let’s begin reducing the drugs. Start with ten percent.”

“Ten percent.” 

Bucky watched the numbers come down on another monitor. “How long will it take for her to wake up?”

“A few minutes. Try to keep her calm when she does. We don’t want her struggling.”

He nodded and watched as the numbers came down, taking fortifying breaths and stroking Penny’s hair. Then her breathing changed. 

He snapped his gaze to her face. “Penny?” She took a deeper breath. “Penny, baby girl? Penny, it’s Bucky.”

Her hand tightened on his, and her lashes fluttered. “Bu…”

"Yeah, baby.” He leaned down until his arm rested on the table above her head, bringing their faces close together. “I’m here. Can you hear me, baby?”

“Buck…” She opened her eyes, but they were cloudy with confusion. 

“Hey, darlin’,” he smiled, continuing to stroke her hair. “Baby, I know you’re probably tired and hurting.”

“Yeah,” she whispered, appearing to grow more lucid moment by moment. “Happened?”

“Your heart gave out, sweetheart, but it’s okay. Shuri made you a new one.” He nodded to the young woman across the table, when Shuri stepped closer and laid a hand on Penny’s shoulder. 

“Miss Rogers, I’m a very big fan. An even bigger one now that I have seen your lab,” Shuri smiled. 

A frown slowly pulled at Penny’s brows. “New… heart? Virus?”

“Shh, baby. Don’t struggle. We figured it out. Between Friday and Shuri, we figured it out.”

Still, her eyes grew frantic as she began to panic. “No! No, not safe!” 

He grabbed her face. “Baby! Baby, stop! It’s safe. It’s safe. We figured it out. But I need you to listen to me. Okay? Trust me?”

She stopped and stared at him before nodding. “Always.”

He snatched her a quick kiss. “Friday figured out how to reproduce my serum. If we combine it with Steve’s and add the Vita radiation, we can kill the virus.”

She blinked rapidly. “Kill it?”

“Yeah, baby,” he grinned. “Kill it.”

“Catch?”

“You will be like your brother and the Sergeant. A super soldier,” Shuri explained. 

Bucky could almost see her big brain work through what they’d told her, process everything as only she could in a short amount of time while fighting past the fuzziness of the drugs, though he figured the steady stream of blue serum flowing through her veins was helping.

Ocean eyes hardened with determination.  "Do it." 

"Penny, this is really going to hurt," he whispered, heart in this throat.

Her free hand lifted to land on his cheek. "I know."

He kissed her again, tears clouding his vision. "Okay."

"You need to go now, White Wolf," Shuri stated, her tone warning him not to argue. 

He shook his head. "I'm not leaving."

"You do not understand. All must leave if we are to do this. The lab is shielded, but there is no way to contain the radiation around Penny. Friday will irradiate the entire area, then neutralize the lab so we may return." She bent toward Penny. "Are you lucid enough to understand what I'm telling you?"

"Vacuum?" Penny asked.

"That's right. Once the radiation portion is finished, Friday will suck all the air out of the room. You will need to hold your breath until she can oxygenate the room again."

Bucky frowned. "Maybe we should move her to Bruce's lab. We could wait-" 

Penny tugged on his hair. "Can't wait. Must go now."

"Duchess," he murmured, torn.

"Go. I can do this," she gave a short nod.

He choked back a sob. "Okay. Okay, Pen." He kissed her cheek, lips, and brow. "Don't you leave me, Penelope Grace."

"Wouldn't… think of it… Buchanan," she smirked a quirk of lips. "Go."

He nodded and stood, realizing they were alone, the rest of Shuri's team having left. Canisters of radioactive material were already hooked up to something Friday then began feeding over the table. 

"I have her, Sergeant. Trust me," the AI murmured as he and Shuri stepped onto the elevator.

"I do, Friday. God help me, I do," Bucky smiled.

The doors shut, and he lost sight of Penny.

Shuri's hand threaded through his. "This is the last stage. She's nearly there."

Bucky squeezed her hand but didn't answer.

***

Once she was alone, Penny tried to shake the rest of the fuzz from her mind. She could feel her heartbeat and took a decent breath for the first time in years. She wanted to weep, but apparently, they weren't done yet. 

"Friday, show me the tests," she whispered.

Screens sprang to life, detailing everything that had happened so far and what Friday had discovered in Bucky's blood. "Wow… Hydra just saved my life."

"Hydra and Princess Shuri."

Penny gave a small smile. "Princess, huh?"

"I like her. Their technology is unique and contains much vibranium. If you have the chance to work with her, you should. I believe a collaboration could seriously advance modern medicine."

She noticed Friday said _if._ "How bad is this going to be, Friday?"

"There will be much pain."

Penny closed her eyes.

"But you will live a full life."

She inhaled slowly and blew it out. "Do it."

"Once I begin, I cannot stop," Friday murmured. 

Penny blinked at the ceiling. "I want to live. This will let me live."

"So be it."

Tubes and needles slid from within the bed, moving on their own to find veins in her extremities and begin pumping more of Steve's bright blue serum into her. Then the colour changed and soon a darker navy serum poured in sending tingles streaking through her body.

"Prepare yourself," Friday murmured, and Penny gripped the table. "I must spray the radioactive particles over you, then run an electric current through you to complete the process."

"Shit, Friday! How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Jarvis shared the information leftover from Project Rebirth."

Penny swallowed thickly but nodded. "Get it done then."

"Do not forget to hold your breath when we finish. The Vita-rays will only bond with the cells of living creatures. I'll see the air from this room expelled high and diffused into the atmosphere so as not to affect anyone else."

Too busy fighting her fear to acknowledge Friday's genius, Penny could only nod. The tingles in her body had become a constant itching, like a wound trying to heal. Then the machine above her began to hiss, and Penny's body seized when the Vita-rays penetrated her flesh. It was like being slowly roasted. 

Metal plates closed over her arms, thighs, and chest, helping keep her still. 

Penny gritted her teeth, trapping a scream in her throat. 

"Ten seconds to electric shock." 

She wasn't sure she could hold out for ten more seconds. Was this what Steve went through? What was done to Bucky? How did anyone survive this?

Her new heart kicked wildly in her chest, pounding out a rhythm that sent the combined serums to every cell in her body. It was an odd sensation beneath the pain. As if she could feel everything expand, strengthen, mutate. It felt like her neuropathways grew and sped up, her ability to calculate and disassociate from the pain growing easier. 

"Five seconds."

She could feel the monster in her body surge, the virus fight to overtake the new serum fighting to kill it, fighting against the Vita-rays bombarding her cells. 

"Two seconds."

The war raging inside her finally forced the scream past her clenched jaws. 

"One."

The electric current surged through her and arched Penny's body into the restraints. She screamed until her voice broke, unable to process such pain. 

"Three seconds."

Stars burst in her vision. Her muscles jerked and swelled. 

She had a momentary thought of how badly she did not want to turn into a muscle-bound female version of Steve but knew it was too late to back out and clenched her fists. The table restraints began to creak as she fought them involuntarily.

Then the current stopped, and she crashed back to the table "Fuck!" bursting from her lips while she gasped and choked on air.

"Penny, take a deep breath."

"Can I have a second?" she asked, every nerve humming.

"Sergeant Barnes is pacing like a caged lion. He won't wait much longer."

"Dammit, Buck," she sighed. "Do it."

Penny took a deep breath as the fans began to run, drawing every bit of air from the room. The pressure built on her sensitive skin, but by the time she expected her lungs to begin burning for fresh air and hadn't, she knew she would be okay. 

Steve could swim distances underwater that were impossible for others. That she could hold her breath far longer shouldn't surprise her. 

When the air finally rushed back in, and the metal plates holding her down retracted, Penny slowly sat up, expecting pain or weakness, and found none. She gathered the sheet around her as the last tube retracted and looked up at the screens. 

"Friday, run vitals."

"Everything is functioning above normal human parameters."

"And the virus?" She held out her hand for the blood sample, but felt a prick at her neck instead and hummed agreement. Arterial blood circulated directly from her heart and would give a better reading.

"As suspected. We have eradicated the virus."

Penny pulled her knees into her chest and let her head fall to them. "I'm healed?"

"Yes, Penny," Friday said softly. 

Silent tears spilled down Penny's cheeks. "Thank you."

"Anything for you, ma'am."

She smiled even as she cried, recognizing Jarvis' influence. Then the elevator doors opened, and Bucky charged out only to slide to a dead stop a few feet away. 

"Penny…" he whispered, his eyes huge.

She clutched the sheet a little tighter to her chest. "What? Am I enormous? I've been afraid to look."

He shook his head. "You look…" 

He didn't finish the thought, just strode across the last few feet to sink a hand in her hair, splay the other over her lower back, and drag her toward him as he ravaged her mouth.

Her heart jumped, but neither stopped, too intent on the battle they were waging with their tongues when a throat cleaning snapped them apart.

"Now that you've ascertained for yourself that Miss Rogers is fine, I need to run some tests, Barnes." 

The young woman wore a smirk that made Penny blush, but Bucky only chuckled. "Okay. I'll let the others know." 

He released her but only enough to cup her face. She watched his gaze travel over her, what he could see above the death grip she had on the sheet, and flushed a little more at the look in his eyes when they locked with hers. 

"And to answer your question, Duchess, you look _damn_ good. Super soldier suits you."

"Don't call me Duchess, Buchanan!" She playfully punched him in the chest and sent him stumbling backward. "Oh!"

Bucky landed on his ass and burst out laughing. "Damn, baby girl! Now you really do pack a wallop."

His term of endearment had her dream rushing back, making her gasp softly. 

"Baby? What's wrong?" 

He was instantly at her side again, and she clutched at the collar of his shirt. "I saw my mom. I saw her. She said she's proud of me, of Steve, and of you. She's happy we found each other."

"Oh, Pen," he murmured, voice thick with tears.

Then he was kissing her again and holding her close as new tears spilled down her cheeks. 

"I miss them," Penny whispered.

"I know, darlin', but I'm real glad you stayed here with me."

She buried her face in his throat and inhaled the scent of him. Gunpowder and winter snow, fresh and crisp with smoke and flame. It was so much stronger now, invoking thoughts of mountain cabins and nights spent naked in front of the fire.

"I hate to keep interrupting, but we really need to run those tests."

Penny pulled away and nodded. "Of course. Shuri, right?"

She grinned and nodded. "A pleasure to meet you while lucid, Miss Rogers."

"Penny, please. What you've done here is amazing." She waved at the images of the technological marvel now beating in her chest. "And I have so many questions. Do we need to be worried about rejection? How did you get the metal so malleable? What did you use to make it work with the nervous system, or is it beating artificially like a pacemaker?"

Shuri laughed and shook her head at Bucky before pulling twenty dollars from her pocket. "You were right. Not even dressed and asking questions."

Bucky plucked the bill from her fingers. "I know my girl." He kissed Penny's red cheek and headed for the elevator. "I'll inform the others while you finish up. Then I'll see Penny home."

"I can go home?" Penny asked Shuri as the doors closed on Bucky.

"Yes. Your body has healed thanks to the change, and with it, has accepted the heart as part of your new system. Vibranium transmits electrical impulses. I've been perfecting the software and circuitry to have it sync with one's brain. Thanks to you, and your AI, I found the way. Your heart is yours, working with your brain to function. As for how I made it malleable, well, Wakanda must retain some secrets," Shuri smirked. 

Penny laughed but nodded. "Alright. Maybe I'll get it out of you someday." 

"Perhaps. Let's run these tests so you may go home with you man."

"And deal with my brother," Penny groaned as she laid back. 

Shuri chuckled. "As I must deal with mine. Such is the way of being the younger sister."

"Nice to know I'm not alone!" Penny laughed and held up a fist.

Shuri gave it a bump with hers. "Solidarity of the younger sisters."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: angst, fluff, look who finally used the eventual smut tag!
> 
> This update brought to you by @curiositywillbethedeathofme through Coffee Updates. Thanks for the support!

* * *

 

"Steve!" Penny shouted, throwing up her hands. "Enough!" He'd been up her ass for the last forty-five minutes, swinging from extremely pissed off to just so happy she was alive right back into pissed off. It was enough to give her grey hair.

After Shuri - a fascinating woman, girl really as she was still a teenager; something that had caused Penny's heart to leap in excitement at her potential - finished her battery of tests, running in-depth scans to show Penny the attachment points of the artificial heart and the excellent job Shuri had done to create a seamless transition, she'd dressed in the spare clothes retrieved by Bucky from her office, then made her way to the lounge where everyone greeted her with varying levels of relief and anger.

She expected it, though she hadn't expected Steve's entire team to be quite so pissy about it. That was until Sam pulled her into a hug and grumbled she wasn't just Steve's little sister and hadn't been for a long time.

As epiphanies went, that one was a doozy. 

As much as the Avengers were Steve's second family, she hadn't realized they thought of her as part of that group. It had humbled her. Perhaps these were the relationships her mother spoke of, the ones that weren't false representations of feelings. Penny had more people around her who cared then she knew. 

With the whole sordid tale out in the open, her heart condition, what she'd been doing to control it, the money Hydra had stolen, and what she'd been doing to their coffers for years, everyone was up to speed, and the team had new information to use against Zemo and Tamara.

Zemo wasn't talking at all, and Tamara hadn't said a word since Nat punched her, but Penny wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with any of it tonight. 

In the span of a few hours, she'd gone from dying with very little hope of stopping it, to fully recovered with a brand new heart and a super soldier's abilities. She hadn't felt this good physically… ever.

When the others wanted to start working on figuring out the rest of the Hydra mess and begin detangling some of the information, Bucky put his foot down. One in the morning wasn't the time. It could all wait until a decent hour, he said, after she'd gotten some rest.

Penny wasn't tired, but she was being bombarded with noise thanks to her heightened senses. Everything and everyone was too loud. The lights were too bright. Her clothing felt rough on her skin. 

It was all different and uncomfortable, and she just wanted to find some peace where she could get used to this new body she still hadn't taken the time to look at.

But Steve was relentless, and when the others agreed to meet back at Marquis the next day, he'd refused to leave her side and had been berating or arguing with her from the moment they got in the car.

Bucky hadn't said a word, likely having had a dressing down of his own from Steve. His hands were tight on the steering wheel as he drove, and he hadn't left the room but poured Penny a drink when they arrived at the penthouse with Steve dogging her every step.

She'd let the blond speak his peace, but enough was enough. "I get it, Steve. You're pissed, but you need to suck it up. I did what I thought was best."

"Penelope Grace, don't give me that bullshit!"

"Don't call it bullshit, Steven Grant!" she bellowed and threw her arm out. "You were off saving the goddamn world! I've been fighting this for years! I didn't need you out there worrying about me when you had more important things to think about!"

Steve went ramrod straight. "Do you honestly think there is anything in this world more important to me than you?"

She sighed and sank onto the arm of the sofa. "No. I know there isn't. Can you honestly tell me you would have gone on missions all over the world knowing I was slowly dying at home?"

The angry flush bled out of his face, and Steve lowered to a chair. "I…"

"Yeah. That's why I didn't tell you. You needed to focus on your mission. I needed to focus on mine." He stared at her with eyes so blue, hurt still present though fading. "I wasn't trying to hurt you, Stevie. I never wanted that."

He sighed and pushed to his feet to cross the room, drag her up by the elbows, and jerk her into a hug. Penny threw her arms around his neck, unable to keep a few tears from leaking out past tightly closed eyes. 

"I'm still pissed, baby girl, but I'm also really glad you're okay. God, Pen. It would have killed me to lose you."

"I know," she whispered. "I feel the same about you, Stevie."

He set her back and looked her over before shaking his head and smirking a grin. "So? How's it feel?"

"Weird."

He gave a sharp bark and patted her shoulder. "Yeah, that lasts for a while. You get used to it."

"Right now, I'd just like to get out of these clothes, take a shower, and go to bed. I haven't been able to breathe this well in years. Or feel my heart beat normally. I think it will take time to get used to."

"It's pretty amazing to see you up and around, knowing you had a heart transplant less than three hours ago."

"Exactly," Bucky grumbled, speaking for the first time in a while. "So maybe you should head out, punk, and let Penny get some rest."

They exchanged a look too complicated for Penny to follow before Steve gave a slow nod. "You're probably right," he murmured. Then he smiled down at her and pressed a kiss to Penny's cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow morning with the others. Get some sleep. It's time we end whatever the fuck Hydra is up to."

"Damn straight," Penny agreed.

"Buck."

There was that look again. 

"Steve." Bucky gave a short nod.

"Good," Steve smirked a quick grin before heading for the door. "Try not to kill each other."

"Goodnight, Steven!" Penny huffed, watching her brother get on the elevator and disappear. "What a dweeb," she muttered.

"He's just… processing."

She shot Bucky a glare, then sighed when he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "He's not the only one. I never wanted to be a super-soldier, Buck."

"It was the only way."

"I know." Still, it was a lot to take in. New heart. New abilities. New body. New outlook. Steve wasn't the only one who needed time. "I need a shower." Before he could say anything, she headed up the stairs. The jog to the second floor didn't even cause her pulse to spike. 

Penny pushed into her bedroom, stripping clothing off as she went. She still hadn't looked, avoiding things like mirrored doors and reflections in glass until she was standing naked in her bathroom. 

Steve and Bucky changed so drastically with the influx of serum; she was terrified to look in the mirror and not know herself. No one had said anything, but would they? When they were just relieved she was alive?

Slowly she turned to face the mirror over her sink, lifted her gaze to the glass, and exhaled harshly. She looked… the same.

A soft sob fled her lips as she took a step forward. Upon closer inspection, she noticed a few subtle changes. Places that had been soft were all tighter, toned, lifted. Breasts, butt, thighs, belly. 

She'd always been slim, but this looked like she'd had work done. Or spent a ridiculous amount of time in the gym. Muscles flexed and moved in her thighs that sure as hell hadn't looked like that before.

"Penny?" Friday murmured. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, why?" she asked, tracing her fingers down the barely-there scar on her chest. If she didn't know to look, she doubted anyone would even know it was there.

"You're crying."

Penny's head snapped up. Sure enough, silent tears were streaming down her face. "Can you turn the shower on?" she whispered, a wave of emotions swamping her.

It came on with a hiss she trudged into, feeling for all the world as if her Vibranium heart was made of lead. She sank to her knees then sat and curled her arms around them, hugging them to her chest, her tears mixing with the water to flow unheard and unseen down the drain.

***

"Sergeant?" 

Bucky pulled his hands away from his face. Something felt off since the moment they left Marquis. Maybe it was just Steve and his inability to see Penny growing steadily more stressed with each passing moment, or maybe it was that he could no longer judge her reactions by the change of her heart, but something was wrong. 

He just didn't know what.

"Yeah, Friday?" 

"Penny is crying in the shower."

Bucky hurdled the back of the sofa and took the stairs three at a time, running on silent feet to her open bedroom door. He could see straight through to the woman huddled on the floor, body shaking every few seconds.

He didn't think, just stripped off his clothes and weapons as he crossed the room, leaving a trail behind him, arriving naked at the big enclosure where he knelt to his knees at her back and wrapped her in his arms.

She didn't even startle.

"What's wrong, baby? Is something hurting? Should we call Shuri?" She shook her head. "Okay." He lightly stroked her arms, feeling her tremble under his touch. Cradled by his thighs, he curled around her, offering comfort and protection, waiting for her to be ready. His knees had begun to ache by the time she started to speak. 

"I can't believe it's over," she whispered. "So many years fighting, struggling, searching for answers and now I'm just… healed?"

"It's a miracle. One I'm thankful for."

"It's a scientific marvel. I'm not sure I'd call it a miracle."

He tucked his face into her wet hair and breathed her in. There was a slight tinge to her scent now. Peaches and vanilla carried the distinct odour of metal, the Vibranium pumping her blood. He found it strangely pleasant and oddly soothing to know he wasn't the only one with a hunk of metal in him.

"It is a miracle," he murmured. "Shuri didn't need to bring Vibranium. I only asked the questions to get her asking questions. Instead, she brought more than enough and an entire team plus a good chunk of her lab with her. Steve didn't have to ask me to be your bodyguard, but he did, and I was here to give Friday the blood sample she needed to combine the two serums. You, baby girl, are a miracle," his voice grew hoarse. "That big brain of yours is a fucking A plus miracle because it's you who made all of what happened today possible. You saved your life, Pen. Sure you had help, but it was your work, your vision, your AI that made all of this possible. You're a damn miracle, Penelope. A _miracle_!"

"I don't know what to feel," she sobbed. "I had a path, but everything went sideways, and I should be happy I'm better but…."

"You can't help waiting for the other shoe?" He knew that feeling all too well. "It feels too good to be true, right?" She nodded slowly. "I know how that feels. It was like that with me for a while. Always wondering when it would drop, how, who would end up dead when it did. I get it, Pen. Better than anyone."

She wiped her nose. "I don't feel like me anymore. It feels too easy, too clean. Is that weird?"

"Not weird, but you're still you, Pen. Just a stronger version."

She turned her head and looked back at him, water dripping off her lashes. “Really?”

He pulled her closer. “Yeah, baby. You’re still you. Just like Steve is still Steve and I’m still me. We've all just had an upgrade."

She gave a watery chuckle. "Penny two point oh."

"Exactly." He rocked back on his toes and lifted them both to their feet. "C'mon, darling. Let's get you cleaned up." 

Bucky reached past her for the bottle of shampoo and flipped open the lid, flooding the shower with peaches and vanilla when he dumped a generous amount into his hand. 

"Jeeze, Buck! That's enough for three people," Penny huffed, swiping half of it from his palm. She worked it between her hands and reached for his head while he began to lather her hair. 

Soap froth splattered everywhere as each tried without success to wash the other's hair. Penny laughed and batted his hands away, taking over her hair while he rinsed his beneath the fall of the rain shower. 

He smirked and used her conditioner. He was going to smell like peaches and vanilla and didn't care one damn bit. 

After a second rinse, he took up her puffy loofah and body wash. She arched a brow at him, her smirk now smug, but stepped out of the stream of water and turned to give him her back while working conditioner through her long locks. 

He hadn't let his gaze drift or wander, intent on her not her body, but now, given the opportunity, he took her in from head to heels. 

She was damn fine looking before the serum. After? His cock went to half-mast with nothing but a glimpse of soap bubbles slipping over the curve of her perky ass. She'd gone from sleek and slightly skinny to fit beyond imaging, her body a temple of strength and beauty he wanted to worship.

She glowed with health, no longer the sickly grey pallor of before. Her ocean eyes once the crashing blue of deep waves now appeared like Caribbean waters with teal and aquamarine lights. Muscle tone defined her limbs, and where once his hand rested on her soft belly, now lightly defined abdominals resided.

She was, in short, a super soldier in female form. Sleek. Fast. Strong. Not an ounce of wasted flesh or extra skin. 

He smirked a little as he began to wash her back, wondering if she'd shriek the next time she stepped on a scale. All that new muscle would be denser and make for a shock if she were to weigh herself. 

Though, being the scientist she was, she probably knew that already. 

She twisted her hair into a tail and let it drape over her shoulder as he worked soap and loofah over her skin. It was kitten soft beneath his fingers, and the flesh hand holding her hip took up a soft petting.

"Bucky," she sighed.

The soap bubbles ran down her long legs. He knelt to follow the trickles, scrubbing her calves and feet, her hips, thighs, and buttocks before slowly dragging his fingertips up her spine as he rose and stepped into her back.

She inhaled deeply when his flushed skin and hard length came into contact with her body. "James…"

Bucky smiled and placed a kiss on her nape. "Don't move, Penelope." She shivered, her cheeks flushed and heart jumping. He no longer worried when it grew erratic, for while Penny and Steve went at it earlier, he'd had Friday give him every detail, go through every test, explain how her newfound super soldier nature had changed Penny's cells enough for the Vibranium heart to be recognized as _Penny's_ heart. Her body wouldn't reject it as it was now, simply put, her natural state. Her body saw the metal heart as having always been there.

Lacing it with stem cells Penny had begun collecting and storing years ago, and the heart, though metal, was virtually indistinguishable from the one she was born with. Her metal heart was a fucking marvel. 

No one would ever tell him differently. 

Penny was healed, healthy, and two hundred and fifty percent better than she'd ever been. There was little that would stop her now.

Beneath the scent of her soap, he could make out the musky, salty, seductive, siren's call of her arousal. It was thick. Intoxicating. Rising through the mist to lead him toward salvation. 

He gave the loofah a tight squeeze, lathering bubbles over his metal hand before letting it drop to the tiles and running his soapy fingers over her belly. 

She stiffened, another jump taking her heart rate up a notch.

"Easy, baby girl," he murmured against her ear. "It's just you and me. If I'm rushing you, you just tell me to stop and I will. But I want you, want this, want everything you're willing to give me because you're here and you're alive, and I don't want another second to slip by without you knowing just how fucking much I love you."

She trembled, but a beautiful smile split her lips. "Then you'd best bring your A-game, Sergeant."

He chuckled and brought his other hand to her stomach to help spread the soap around. "You gonna be boss lady in bed, Pen?"

"Maybe once I have a better understanding of what I'm doing," she quipped, then gave a delicious moan when he let all pretense of 'washing' go and cupped her sweet breasts. 

As Bucky had once envisioned, they were a perfect handful begging to be fondled, squeezed, and caressed. Her head fell back on his shoulder when he lightly stroked the soft flesh. She gave another wanton moan as his thumbs brushed her peaks, and ground her ass against his groin when he tugged the small berries.

"Jesus, Barnes!" she whined.

He snickered and dragged her back a step to land them beneath the rainfall where he quickly washed out her hair, then spun her to face him. He barely let her take a breath before lowering his head to slowly drag his lips across hers, seduce the soft flesh, and steal kiss after breathless kiss from her. 

Penny swayed closer, her body coming into contact with his an inch at a time. Breasts, long, lean torso, hips, thighs, and finally arms when she curled them around his neck and lifted on her toes.

He spun them both, this time sending her back into the tiled wall where he could pin her in place and scrape his teeth down her neck. A shocked mewl burst from her and made him chuckle. "That's right, baby girl. Let out all them pretty sounds."

"James," she moaned.

He hummed and sucked a mark beneath her jaw. "I'm gonna make you feel so good, Pen."

"Everything tingles."

"It's supposed to." She could probably feel his smile, but Bucky didn't care. She was here, she was whole, she was perfect, and he would make her his.

He worked his way down her flesh with sucking kisses and gentle hands. Each new place pulled quiet moans and tender sighs from her sweetly parted lips. Her hands flexed and clenched on his shoulders when he palmed her breasts, then dug in when his lips first kissed her nipple.

When he took her in his mouth and sucked, she arched and cried out, her hand flying to grip his hair. He could stay there for hours just wallowing in the ripe mounds, so sweet and firm with pretty pink berries he could roll between his teeth.

Her gasp of delight when he sucked hard and allowed her flesh to pop from his lips gave Bucky a thrill, but it was the deep dark oceans swimming in her eyes that drew him in, threatening to drown him in the waves of her desire.

He watched her whimper and bite her lip, her head thrash and roll with the pleasure as he paid painstakingly close attention to both her breasts. When gentle tugs became sharp pulls of his hair, he shifted his focus to the nearly nonexistent scar that ran the center of her chest, kissing each inch, down the valley between her breasts. 

Bucky lowered to his knees, content to chase water droplets over her quaking stomach. "You're beautiful, Pen. So fucking gorgeous. You always were, but now I know I can be gentle with you, or a little rougher, and you'll hold up to my loving."

"You gonna be boss man in bed, Barnes?" she teased.

He sucked a kiss to the left of her belly button and made her shriek. "I'm gonna fuck you into that mattress, baby girl, and pray your bed holds up."

A high pitched, nervous giggle spilled from her lips and red flushed her cheeks. 

He arched a brow, wondering at the shy suddenly on her. "Pen?"

"I've… never done this before."

"I know," he smirked, rubbing his hands slowly up and down her outer thighs. It gave him a bit of a thrill to know he was the first. He refused to acknowledge her attack as her first time. That special moment was stolen in a most heinous act. He would see this time replaced as much of those memories as possible.

"I'm nervous."

"I know that too. Tell me what you want, Pen."

She bit her lip and glance at him from behind her lashes. "Can I learn you?"

Bucky smiled, knowing what she meant as he rose, bringing the discarded loofah with him. She took it, but only to hang it up before upending the body wash into her hands. Then she stepped away from the wall to circle him.

And so began his torture. 

In the warm steamy shower, her hands were soft and so gentle. Her touch was tender, delicate, sliding over his shoulders and down his back. She traced every ridge and hollow. Her thumbs found knots he hadn't known where there.

He didn't like having people at his back, but she wasn't people. She was Penny. She'd brought him back to life. Given him so much just by being her. 

He listened to the simple steady beat of her heart and fought back tears. This was not the time, and he'd shed more than enough. 

Her hands skimmed over his buttocks and Bucky hummed. 

"You like that?"

"Feels good," he sighed.

She ran her hands down his legs, her breath catching when they slowed on his thighs.

"See something you like, baby?"

There was a little smirk on her mouth when she glanced up at him through her lashes. "I overheard someone refer to thigh riding in a conversation once. I get the appeal now."

A noise Bucky didn’t know he could make escaped his lips. "Fuck, Pen you're killing me."

She laughed, throaty and deep. It burned through his body as she rose, long legs and soft, glistening flesh, to work more soap between her hands. She moved to his side, washing his flesh arm right to the fingertips, then back up to pass her hands over his chest.

She didn't miss an inch, working gentle fingers over his collarbones and up his neck, her eyes darting to his and then away, unbelievably shy. They followed the curve of his pectorals and lingered at his nipples.

When he hummed in pleasure at her touch, she gave a sweet smile. Then they were on his scars. 

"They look better."

He hardly thought about them anymore with how often she had her hands on him. It was a distraction for her when her worries had grown over the last weeks, one he was happy to provide. "Yeah. They don't pull like they were."

"Hack job," she grumbled, glaring at them.

Bucky caught her chin and tilted it up. "You really wanna talk about that now, baby girl?"

She froze, then relaxed, a smile tugging her lips. "No."

"Mm." He dropped his head and stole a kiss.

Her hands slid away, slicking soap over his stomach and ribs. Bucky had to remind himself how to breathe, watching her face as she touched him with such wonder. 

Slowly they found his hips and went no further. "Pen?"

Her eyes were closed; her breathing shallow. "I'm… having a moment."

He immediately framed her face with both hands. "Baby girl, if this is too much too fast, we don't gotta do-"

"Shut your yap, Barnes and let me have my moment!" Penny snickered, eyes still closed.

The gathering tension fled. "Yeah? You wanna tell me what's goin' on in that pretty head?"

"Steve tried to explain how his mind works with the serum, but I didn't get it until now. I just memorized your entire body with nothing but my fingertips. My synapses are on fire, sparking and kicking. I've never felt like this before. And when you touch me." Her voice dropped a full octave, and dark eyes opened to peek at him from behind thick lashes. "I feel it, like, at a cellular level. Like fireworks exploding under my skin."

Bucky grinned broadly. "Well, not my _entire_ body."

"I was getting there. I just needed a moment."

Bucky chuckled and kissed her hard, begging access with little pulls on her pouty lip and flicks of his tongue. She opened for him like a gift, letting him slip into her mouth where he explored without restraint. 

She was right in her assessment, for her hands on him felt like fire, like electricity skimming in waves over his flesh. Her nails scratch softly through the hair at the base of his cock; then gentle fingers curled around him.

Bucky moaned into her mouth, undone by the unintentionally sexy action. So innocent but so hot. "Fuck, Duchess." Her hair was cool where it curled around his fingers as he threaded his hand through it, tugging a little to stretch her neck for his mouth. 

"Bucky," she whimpered and caressed the length of him.

"Killing me, Pen. Killing me." 

Suddenly her hands were gliding up his body to wrap her arms around his neck, and wet flesh pressed to his. 

"Oh, fuck," he gasped, the sensation exploding in his brain.

"Take me to bed, Barnes," Penny giggled, peppering kisses along his jaw.

He tugged her back beneath the spray to remove the last of the soap, then out of the shower - that turned off behind them - to the stand where he took a warm towel and wrapped it around her. A second went around his waist, and a third he used on her hair. 

Even as he was busy with her, she was using a hand towel to dry the water from his arm, sliding the plates up to catch every bit of fluid trapped between them. 

"You're good at that."

She smiled. "I helped design it. I know what it needs."

Bucky finger-combed her hair. "And what about what you need?"

Colour flushed into her cheeks. "You might have to help me with that."

"Penny." He stopped her busy hands and tossed the towel in the bin. "Have you ever touched yourself?"

Red ran right down her neck. "Well… no."

"Oh, baby." He watched the sparkle of tears build on her lashes and felt terrible for all she'd been through. "Guess it's a good thing you've got me."

A small smile curled her lips with his gentle teasing. "Yeah? You gonna show me what I've been missing, Barnes?"

He swept her up into his arms, making her yelp in surprise. "Truth?" She frowned but nodded. "I haven't done this since before Russia."

"What?"

Warmth heated his face. "I haven't been with a woman since Hydra caught me. I was afraid, Pen. Of me. Of the arm. Of hurting someone."

"You didn't seem scared with me," she whispered.

He walked from tile floors onto the soft carpet and crossed the room to strip the bedding back before sitting with her cuddled in his lap. "I'm not scared with you, Pen. You've pulled me out of my head better than any shrink ever could. Shuri even said you brought me back to the land of the living, and she’s right. I wasn’t living after Russia. I hated myself for what happened. I couldn’t stop thinking about all those people who died because of what Hydra did to me.”

“But, Buck, that wasn’t your fault!”

He cupped her cheek and pressed his thumb to her lips. “I know that. That didn’t stop me from feeling guilty. I killed… so many friends and colleagues. Pen.” He closed his eyes, regret heavy in his chest. “But it was what you said that first day in your lab that changed,” he shook his head, “ _everything_ for me.” 

Bucky opened his eyes to find hers full of tears, dripping slowly down her cheeks. “Oh, baby, no.”

“You can’t say something like that and expect me not to cry!”

He chuckled softly and brushed a few drops from her cheeks. “Then I guess I should finish so you’ll stop.” But he kissed her first and almost couldn’t stop when her hands found his face. Finally, he tugged his mouth away and rested his forehead against hers. “I started thinking about everything differently. You helped me see it _wasn’t_ all on me. I was the weapon, but they were the hand that pointed me at my friends. Because of what you said, I’ve had a lot fewer nightmares,” he admitted. “Being here with you this last week, I haven’t had any.”

“Bucky,” she whispered, more tears falling down her face. 

“You make me better, Pen. That’s why I’m not scared with you, because you trust me, and I know I could never hurt you.”

She gave a soft little sob and threw her arms around his neck. “You make me better, too!”

Bucky held her tight, gently stroking the skin above her towel as she cried into his neck. “I know you never wanted to be like Stevie and me, but I gotta tell ya, it makes me feel a whole lot better knowing you’re a lot harder to hurt now.”

“Buck…”

“No, just listen.” He tilted her chin up, her tearstained face making his chest ache. “Hydra’s been looking at you since the start. That scares me. You’re Steve’s sister, and the idea they could try to use you against him, that they have been… it terrifies me, Pen. Now, with a little training, I know you’ll be able to protect yourself.”

“Buck,” she smiled and patted his face. “I feel the same way.”

“Thank God!” he laughed and rolled her onto the bed. 

Penny giggled, then squealed when he buried his face in her neck and rubbed his scruff on her skin. “Bucky!”

“Yeah, darlin’. Scream my name,” he chuckled, brushing his chin over her shoulder. 

“You’re so corny!” she laughed and punched him in the right arm. 

Bucky jerked and sat back. “Ow!” he whined, rubbing the spot. 

She rolled her eyes. “Big baby.” 

He grinned down at her, relaxed and soft beside him, and hooked the fingers of his metal hand in the front of her towel. “Can I touch you, Penelope?” he asked.

Her lashes fluttered to half-mast her eyes, and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, but ultimately nodded. 

“You sure?”

She rolled her eyes, lifted her hips, and jerked the towel off she then chucked at the bathroom door. 

Bucky snickered. “Alright, then.”

He laid his metal fingers lightly on her ribcage and watched goosebumps rise on her skin. He knew the hand wasn’t cold, not after their shower, and smirked at her reaction. He could still smell her, though some of her arousal had waned with their talk, but Bucky didn’t regret slowing down and telling her what he had. He’d needed to say it, and he thought she needed to hear it.

Now, faced with all that gorgeous flesh, gilded by the lights of the city and the moon that came through the open windows, he felt awed by the beauty of her. He watched the goosebumps form with every inch he touched, trailing his fingertips toward her midline, then up the nearly invisible scar. Pretty pink nipples pebbled as he approached her breast, circled it, and finally cupped the firm mound. 

She sighed softly, watching him as he explored her. By the flush on her cheeks and the way she squirmed, he knew she was enjoying his touch, but Bucky wanted more.

He shifted to take her nape in his hand, gently massage, squeeze and relax the muscles of her neck, monitoring her reactions in the tension there, while lightly laving his tongue over her pebbled areola and tight nipple.

A sharp intake of breath was his reward, and he smiled at receiving it. "You make all the noise you want, Duchess," he teased, smirking at her when she scowled at him.

"Bucky Barnes! How many times must I-" She gasped when he sucked hard on her nipple and rolled the other between his fingers.

"What was that?" 

"Don't call me-" She moaned when he gently bit and plucked.

"I'm sorry, what?" Before she could say anything, he quickly sucked and played with her until her hand flew to his hair. 

"Fuck! Buchanan!" She arched up, thighs squeezing together. 

Bucky chuckled, nuzzling her soft flesh. "You know, I don't mind hearing that when you say it while naked."

"Bucky, please," Penny panted, her eyes wide and wild, desire darkening them.

"I got you, Penny baby. I know what you need." He rose over her, careful to keep his weight from pinning her down. He trailed kisses along her torso, slow as molasses, feather-soft, tasting her honey skin with each flick of his tongue.

As she had done with him, he memorized the shape of her, imprinting the hollows and ridges and special places that gave her pleasure. He mapped each one with his tongue, lapping at places that made her shiver and moan. 

Bucky paused at her hip bone to gently scrape his teeth on the ridge. A cry exploded from Penny, all pleasure and surprise that had him sucking with vigour. She squirmed and bucked, strong now with the serum in her veins, but Bucky was determined and held her down with his left hand pressed firmly against her belly. 

Her fight slowed into quivers and quiet moans, a sheen coming to her flesh. Bucky pulled away only after leaving a bright red and purple hickey, marking her in a place only they would know about. How long it would last, he couldn’t say, but for the moment it was there, and the dark mark made him smirk at his handiwork. 

Then he was sliding off the bed, his hands gentle on her thighs to tug her to the edge of the mattress.

“Buck?”

A tremble of uncertainty shivered through her unasked question. “Trust me,” he purred. “I’ve got you, Pen.”

Another shiver quaked through her when he placed soft, open-mouthed kisses on her knees. He stroked her thighs, trailing his fingers over her to get her used to him, rubbing his thumbs in small circles and pressing gently into her muscles. Bucky slowly worked her knees open, wedging his shoulders between them. He continued kissing her soft skin, more molasses kisses that took multiple seconds to complete from breath to touch to taste. Slow and languid. Thick. Sweet. 

He took his time, listened to her quiet panting. “Cat got your tongue, Pen?” he teased, surprised by her lack of expression when she was usually so vocal. 

“I can’t-” she whimpered. “I feel so much.”

“You’re supposed to feel all the good feelings,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to neatly trimmed curls. 

“I don’t know what to do with myself.” Her hands fluttered, nervous and unsure against her belly. 

Bucky reached up and took one, grasping it gently. “Just enjoy, Pen. Let go. I won’t do anything you won’t like.”

Her free hand flew to her face and covered her eyes. “That’s just it. I don’t know what I like. Every time I’d try to figure it out it all went wrong. I’d get all flustered and have… have flashbacks. I eventually gave up. Grooming is about the extent of my comfort with that.” She waved her free hand at his face.

Anger surged inside him. So much had been taken from her with that one act. He hated how hard this was for her. How powerless it had made her. 

Bucky stood and jerked her up to her feet. “We’re taking it back.”

“What?” Penny gasped, landing with a thump against his chest.

“You’re power. You’ve suffered these doubts long enough.” Eagerly Bucky tugged her around to the foot of her bed where a wide stool waited. He sat and scooted back, then pulled her down to sit between his legs, her back to his chest. 

“What the hell, Barnes?” she muttered, arms crossing over her chest. 

“Stop it, Pen. I’ve already seen it.” He dragged her arms down, then gathered her damp hair into a tail and threw it over his shoulder, getting it out of his way. 

“What are we doing, Buck?” she asked a third time, uncertainty replacing annoyance. 

“You’re taking back your power,” he murmured, voice down an octave, deep and throaty. He kissed her beneath her ear, sucked and scraped with his teeth and wrapped his metal arm around her waist. “Spread your legs, baby.”

“Buck! No, I-”

He bit her gently but firmly on her pulse, well aware of their reflection in the wall of glass across from them. “He stole something precious from you, baby girl. We’re going to take it back. I’m going to help you.”

“Bucky, I don’t think-”

Another bite, this one sharper. “Do it.”

With reluctance, she spread her legs. “I feel stupid.”

“You’re anything but that, Penelope,” he purred against her ear. “You’re beautiful, elegant, so damn incredible. What happened wasn’t your fault, but it’s done some damage. Me and my big mouth didn’t help.”

“Don’t, Buck. You didn’t know.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he murmured, brushing his mouth over her shoulder. “I said really harsh, really stupid things to you. Things that have clearly left a mark on how you view yourself and sex. I won’t have it, Pen. You deserve everything — every happiness. Sex and love isn’t something to be ashamed of. Especially not between us.” Now that she’d relaxed, he lightly began to stroke his fingers up her inner thighs. “But I can’t make love to you like I want if I’m worried you’re not enjoying yourself.”

“I’m pretty damn sure I’ll enjoy it, James,” she huffed, but it was without venom.

He chuckled softly, curled his hands under her legs and lifted them over his so her knees hooked on his thighs, keeping her stretched open for him. “I know you will, but I want _you_ to know you will. Touch yourself.”

“This is stupid,” she huffed, hands clasped in tight fists. 

“It’s not.” 

“Why can’t you do it?” she whined when his hands came to rest high on her inner thighs. 

“Because it’s not my touch your afraid of.”

Penny sputtered. “I’m not scared!”

Bucky cupped her chin and turned her face towards his. “Then prove it.”

She scowled, but her hand opened and fluttered, her eyes angry and defiant on his as she drew closer to her core. Then anger leached from her eyes and fear took over. “I can’t…”

“Why?” he asked, kissing her softly. 

“I don’t want to remember.”

He took her hand and brought it down, eventually laying their combined fingers on the heat and moisture. “You won’t because the man who did that to you isn’t here. It just us. You and me, Pen.” He kissed her again as he began to move their fingers, making sure she felt everything he was doing to make her moan. He showed her how to dip down, gather more of her moisture, and slide it over her clit. 

Penny whimpered, and Bucky released her chin to take her free hand and draw it up to her breast. Together he showed her what he’d done earlier, manipulate the flesh until her tender bud pebbled and grew hard. 

He kept the pace torturously slow until she finally brushed his hand away, impatient, her hips beginning to grind into her fingers as fear became pleasure. Bucky grinned, his lips pressed to her throat as he used both hands on her breasts, helping things along. 

She curled her arm up around him and whimpered a soft, “Buck…”

“I got you, baby,” he whispered, pulling on her ear with his teeth. “You just gotta let go.”

“I… I…” she panted, her trouble clear when her legs shook. 

Bucky glanced at the windows across from them and rumbled a chuckle as he trailed his left hand down her smooth flesh to her thigh. “Look, baby. Look at us. Look how stunning you are.”

He watched her lashes lift to hold on the image in the glass, and a tiny gasp flew from her lips. 

“That’s right. Don’t we look good, Pen?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” she whimpered. 

“You wanna come, baby? Do you need it?” He lightly pet her thigh, loving how wrecked she looked. Gone was professional Penny, the big-time company owner. Here was Penny lost to the pleasure of her body, something she’d denied herself for far too long.

“James,” she moaned, fingers working feverishly. 

He rolled her nipple and tugged at it, sucking on the sensitive flesh beneath her ear before sliding his hand down to run his fingers up and down her opening. “I got what you need,” he whispered and slipped a thick metal finger between her fluttering walls. 

She came with a gasp, her body arching with the intensity. 

“That’s my girl,” Bucky purred, fucking her slowly with the digit. “Look at you, Pen. So gorgeous, so sexy. I could eat you up.” 

She collapsed against him, head back on his shoulder, cheeks a rosy blush, and ocean blue eyes peeking at him, showing barely a slit of colour. "So…"

"So...?" he chuckled removing his hand and causing her to bite her lip. He wanted to taste her, but he wanted to do so at the source and wiped his hand off on his towel.

"That was… something," she smiled.

He laughed and relaxed his legs, letting hers slide free. "You look good like this. Soft and blissed. I could get used to seeing it."

"Yeah?" She turned and straddled his lap. There was a quiet confidence in her eyes replacing the fear from before. The wall she'd placed around herself was crumbling moment by moment. 

It was sexy as hell. "Yeah, baby girl."

"You gonna show me the rest, Barnes?" Penny asked, gently biting his lower lip.

"I'll show you whatever you want." He hooked an arm around her hips and heaved them both up and back. A wild giggle escaped from Penny as they fell in the center of her bed. However, Bucky's towel didn't make it off the stool, and when they landed, her hot, slick center spread over his hard cock. 

Penny gasped when he thrust up, dragging his crown over her sensitive bundle of nerves. "Christ!"

Her nails dug into his chest, and Bucky grabbed her hips before she could rock them and make him lose his mind. She wasn't the only one who was feeling things stronger than before. 

"Pen, protection?" He hadn't planned any of this, wasn't prepared, and had little desire to make a naked sprint to his room, but he would if necessary. 

She heaved herself to the side, dragging him with her. Stretched out full length over him, she rummaged through the side table drawer and came back with an unopened box of condoms. 

When he arched a brow, she bit her lip and shrugged. "Power of positive thought?"

Bucky laughed and plucked the box from her hand before tugging her back so her face was level with his. "A little wishful thinking never hurt anyone. How did you even get them here?" The sure didn't come in the grocery orders.

Now heat filled her cheeks. "I… may have casually asked Darla to help a girl out."

"Penelope Grace, you sly dog! Does your assistant think we've been going at it all this time? Is that why she smirks at me?"

"Maybe," Penny giggled.

Bucky shook his head and ripped the end off the box with a deft twist. He separated one from the pack and tossed the rest back in the open drawer. "You wanna help a guy out?"

A deer with a car barreling toward it could have looked less startled. "Me?"

He held the foil packet between his metal fingers. "Not sure how well these two will mix."

"Oh." Red-faced, she shifted around until she straddled his thigh, giving Bucky a host of mental images and ideas to try. 

He'd gladly let her ride his thigh if that was what the woman wanted. For now, he held out the metallic square. "Open it." She succeeded quickly and tossed the wrapper off the side of the bed. "Now roll it down." He was so damn hard for her, she shouldn't have any trouble, and held his cock up for her to roll the latex on easily. 

Penny was beet red, but she handled it - or rather him - with quickly learned skills and soon had him encased in the thin layer. His eyes practically rolled from his head with her innocent caresses as she touched him, but he still couldn't help teasing, "Someone paid attention in health class." He didn't think it possible for her to blush any deeper, but she did, and before she could move away, he caught her thighs and lifted her to sit astride his hips. 

"Buck?" she whispered, suddenly shy again. 

"This will be better for you, baby girl. Trust me to know what you need." He didn't want her to panic if she found herself beneath him. And he was big. She could control her descent this way, taking as much or little as she wanted in her time. 

But still she looked hesitant, and Bucky pulsed his hips, catching her sweet nub with little flicks of his cock. A quiet gasp and seductive little sigh spilled from her kiss swollen lips as Bucky coated himself her slick.

"You want me inside you, don't you, Pen? I can make you feel so damn good. So good, baby girl, you'll never want to leave this bed."

"Promises, promises, Barnes," she gasped, her hips beginning to move of their own volition.

"It's a guarantee, darlin'. You just lift a little higher, and I'll show you."

Her hands landed on his chest as her hips rose, and Bucky felt his tip notch against her opening, then slowly be engulfed as she lowered back down. 

"Fuck," he groaned, the feel of her exquisite.

"Big," she whimpered. 

"Go slow, baby. Let things stretch." He watched her take him, inch by inch, in utter amazement. It shouldn't be possible for him to be here after all he'd done, yet here he was, minutes away from heaven. He clenched his teeth as she took him in, in agonizing slowness, holding her hips to guide her down. 

"Penny," he sighed. "My Penny."

Finally, she landed, her thighs tight at his waist and head thrown back in pleasure. "Oh, God."

Bucky chuckled, but stayed still, the hardest thing he'd ever done when his body screamed _move_! Then she was peering at him past her lashes, her hands crossed on his chest, with the sexiest smile Bucky had ever seen. 

"Damn, baby. You look so good right now." Bathed in the soft light from the city, her hair glowed like a halo.

"You don't look half bad yourself, Buchanan," she teased, gently rocking her hips.

He hissed, unable to respond when tight, slick walls squeezed and stroked him, releasing him from fiery heat only to take him back in. 

A whimper spilled past the lip caught between Penny's teeth. Her eyes closed and head tilted back. All the muscles in her torso flex and shifted beneath her satin skin with every rise of her hips. 

The light caused the slick on her thighs to glisten and glimmer where it coated her curls and his cock. He couldn't remember there ever being a woman so wet for him. It swelled his pride and his cock, causing Penny to moan when he caught and rubbed the sweet tender place inside her. 

"Like that, Pen?" he asked, intent on her face. She gave a frantic nod, and he grinned, knowing she wasn't going to see it. "Lean back, baby. Brace yourself on my thighs.

She shifted position without question and whined high and loud in the back of her throat when the angle changed.

"That's it." He jerked her down, the sound of flesh meeting flesh turning him on as he showed her how to ride him harder, really take him deep. 

"Bucky!" she cried, her breath coming in sharp pants that exploded out every time he connected with the end of her tight sheath.

"Let go, Pen. I've got you." He tightened his flesh hand at her waist and let the metal glide over the silky skin beneath her belly button. He could feel the strength in her, the power. Gone was the softness, but Bucky didn't mind. She was strong. She was healthy. She was his. 

He bucked up and made her gasp and dropped his hand down to slip his thumb into all that slick and circle her hard little clit.

She came with a shriek and clenched her nails into his thighs, but all he could feel was the tight, so tight, contractions of her walls constricting, milking, begging for his release. He bit damn near through his lip to hold back the building wave.

She slumped forward, catching herself on her hands. Her body soft and trembling, and something wet splashed on his skin. Fresh tears dripped from her chin.

"Oh, baby," he murmured, quickly rolling them to their sides where he could cuddle her close. 

"I never thought," she whispered, her leg hooked on his hip, keeping them connected.

"I know, darlin'. I know." He placed soft kisses on her forehead, nose, and cheek, working slowly back to her lips. 

He caught the corner of her mouth, her full bottom lip, and slanted over them. She kissed him back, her tongue slipping between his lips, passion erupting when she coaxed his tongue into dancing with hers and then sucked on it slowly. 

With one arm trapped between them, her hand flexing over his heart, the other wrapped beneath his arm and pressed between his shoulders where her nails scratched as she urged him closer. The leg over his hip tightened, and soon she was rocking into him, making him moan into her mouth when she took what she wanted.

Bucky rolled into her, pressing her back into the mattress. Soft and pliant beneath him, her quiet little mewl had him setting a swift pace, driving his hips down, seeing stars with every thrust. Pleasure built swiftly in the base of his spine as he clung to Penny. She pulled her mouth away, giving him access to the long line of her throat.

Then she whimpered, "Bucky," and everything stopped when he looked up to find ashen skin and fear-filled eyes. 

Her hands where fists against his spine, her eyes unseeing. All signs of enjoyment… gone.

"I can't… not like this," she whispered.

"Shh, baby girl." He immediately lifted himself off her, hating himself for forgetting for that one split second the trauma they were fighting even now. "It's okay, Pen," he soothed when she closed her eyes, shame darkening her cheeks. 

He didn't go far, refusing to let old fear taint what they'd begun. Instead, he helped her shift to her side and curled around her back. "Trust me. We're okay. It's just you and me, Duchess." Her lip twitched. "We'll get there. That was my fault, baby, but I've got you."

He adjusted the angle of her legs and lightly caressed her skin, waiting as her breathing slowed, watching for any sign of resistance. When she looked back at him with eyes full of trust, only then did he guide himself inside her. 

She moaned, but it was all pleasure. Her hand curled into a fist to support her upper body as Bucky thrust against her back.

"There you go, Pen," he whispered in her ear, wrapping his arm around her waist and cupping her breast. "You feel so good, baby. So damn good to me. All hot and tight. Squeezing me so good." He dropped kisses along her shoulder and sucked on the crook of her neck. "So perfect and soft." The breast he cupped gave beneath the gentle press of his fingers.

"Bucky." She turned her head and licked her lips. 

This time, eyes hazy and unfocused with pleasure found his, and he took her mouth, releasing her breast to curl his fingers around her nape and hold her there suspended, drunk on the feeling of his cock stroking walls that rippled and flexed while sipping from her swollen lips. She moved with him, the rhythm slow but thorough, a gentle loving that swelled first in his heart and flowed out with each brush of swollen lips and touch of tongues. She fed him her moans, sliding them over his tongue and allowing him to swallow them down. 

Each one tasted like love, like forever. 

“Penny,” he whispered, smoothing his hand down her body to hook her leg and draw it up over his thigh, letting him take her a little deeper, a little harder, while lightly drawing his fingers over her clit. 

She trembled and arched, body shaking, coming apart with a cry that pierced the silence. 

“God, you’re gorgeous.” Sweat sheened and hair curling, flushed and panting with eyes so dark and lips swollen from his kisses, Bucky had never seen a more beautiful sight. The pounding of her heart was magical, swift and sure, and maybe they shouldn’t be stressing it so thoroughly hours after she’d gotten it, but _damn_ , he wasn’t about to stop now. Not now when he was buried to the hilt in restricting heat, just as sweat-slicked, just as entranced, bewitched, ensnared by the woman coming apart for him and around him so beautifully. “Do you trust me, baby girl?”

She reached up and cupped his cheek, nails scratching through his scruff and sending shivers down his spine. “Yes.”

No hesitation, no conditions, just pure, blinding faith. It did things to his heart he wasn’t prepared for and choked his voice. “Can I try something?” he asked hoarsely. 

She nodded, all her fear gone. 

Swallowing the tears threatening him, Bucky shifted her knee from his thigh back to the bed, encouraged her over on her belly and went with her. Her breath hitched once before all the tension eased out of her muscles and she stretched out beneath him. He brushed her hair to the side and lifted himself from her spine, holding himself above her as he began to thrust, gradually gaining speed. Her bent knee lifted her hips just enough to make each thrust bottom out.

“Oh, Christ, James!” Penny’s fist clenched and tore at the sheets. 

He smirked, knowing she couldn’t see him and bent to rain kisses over her nape and down her spine. “You like that, sweetheart?” he rumbled, voice deep and thick with lust. He’d been ignoring his body’s demands, focused entirely on Penny, but it wasn’t possible any longer. 

Heat built in his belly, pressure and pleasure, the warmest he’d been since the cold of Russia. No, further back than that. He hadn’t truly felt warmth since his falling out with Penny years ago. Ever since then, he’d been trying to replicate the sunshine she’d brought to his life and failing miserably. 

Penny made a noise that wasn’t words or moans and made Bucky snicker. “It’s like that, huh?”

“How are you talking right now?” she gasped, her back muscles straining into a deep arch as she pushed against him. 

“I’m good at multitasking?” 

She threw her head and glared at him. “Really?”

“You want me to have to focus, baby girl?” he asked, a devilish grin spreading his lips.

"Buck!" she snarled then moaned and collapsed forward when he increased his speed. 

Bucky sat back and jerked her hips up, held her by them and began to piston with vigour. He wouldn't last long at this pace, but then neither would she with the way her body gripped him.

Soon she was meeting his every thrust, the slap of skin loud and lewd, but so fucking hot. His once quiet Penny was now as vocal as any paid companion, but he knew every squeal, scream, and curse was all for him. 

Her body was a treasure trove for him to plunder, discover all the secret hidden places that would make her scream or sigh. Bucky mapped every one and knew he would keep them locked in his mind, coveted and collected, hoarded like a dragon. His and no one else's. 

"Better?" he growled, his breath catching and sweat sliding down his spine. 

"Fuck! Barnes!" Penny shrieked, pushing up on her hands. 

Unable to hold back, unable to stem the rising tide of release, he laid himself against her back, wanting and needing the closeness, and tucked his hand between her legs. 

A sob ripped from her lips, lustful and full of need. Bucky sucked a mark into her shoulder, fighting the way his veins sang with the call to let go, give over, succumb to the heated desire boiling in his gut.

"You gotta come, Pen. I need you to come," he murmured, slick skin sliding together as he circled her hard nub and licked a path up her spine.

"God, James I want to… so close!" She collapsed to her elbows. "Can't get there," she whimpered, frustration ebbing into the words. 

_Overstimulated_ whispered through Bucky's mind. "S'okay, baby. I got you." He drew his hand away from her core, thrust hard twice, and slapped her slick clit with enough force to sting. 

She squealed, bucked and reared up when the orgasm crashed through her, but Bucky was prepared, his arm tight around her waist, keeping her close. It was like being caught in a vice grip, the pressure and intense squeeze, the way she rippled so wickedly around him, sucking and pulling him deeper until there was no escape. 

Bucky felt the release rip straight up his spine and hover at the base of his skull before free-falling down, down, down into a tsunami of ecstasy that slammed out of his body in pulse after pulse of exquisite pleasure. It left him momentarily blind and breathless, caught up in the sea of sensation swirling through his veins. 

Then Penny’s legs gave out, and he fell on top of her.

“Oof!” she huffed. 

“Need a sec,” he mumbled, unable to get past the tingles rippling through his body to be able to move. “That was fucking incredible.”

“If I could breathe, I’d agree with you,” she wheezed dramatically. 

Bucky smirked, loving her teasing. “You’re a fuckin’ super. You’ll live another thirty seconds.”

“Right. Super,” she murmured. 

He should have known by the tone she was planning something, but he felt way too good to _think_ about tricky females until all her muscles clenched and she heaved upward, knocking him off her and sending him flying. He landed with a heavy thud, catching himself on his hands and knees rather than slam dick first into the carpet, appearing a startled cat rather than a thrown object when he flew through the air.

Explosive giggles burst from the bed. 

Bucky sat back and shot her a glare. “What the fuck, Pen?”

She pulled her hand - doing nothing to stifle the giggles - from her mouth and smiled sweetly. “Guess I don’t know my own strength yet?”

He rolled his eyes as she went back to snickering and headed to the bathroom to clean up. When he returned to the bedroom, his clothes were neatly placed on the bench, and his weapons laid on top. He smirked at his little neat freak, but Penny was nowhere to be seen. 

“Pen?” he called. 

“Here.” She walked out of her closet, draped in eggplant silk. The gown brushed the tops of her thighs and clung to her breasts. 

“You like that teasing bit of fabric?” he asked, soft and deadly.

She arched a brow. “Yes?”

“Then take it off,” he growled stalking forward to snake his arm around her and yank her hard against him, “or I shred it off.” Metal fingers tangled in the lace covering the cups.

Mouth hanging open, eyes dark and cheeks flushed, Penny closed her teeth with a click and swallowed thickly. "I… I don't like it that much."

Bucky searched her eyes for a second before he tore the silk straight down the middle. Penny gasped but made no protest. "I've been dealing with all these bits of silk and lace for a week. Tonight I want your skin against mine, Pen."

She shook the nighty from her shoulders and let it fall to her feet. "Can I keep these?" she asked, slipping her fingers into the side of skimpy lace underwear. 

He tangled his metal fingers with hers at the edge, slowly rubbing a circle in her flesh under his thumb. "Can I cut you out of them in the morning?" 

Excitement flared in her eyes. "Like… with a knife?"

Plump lips gave softly beneath his when he pressed a slow kiss to her mouth. "You'd be surprised how good I am with a knife," he whispered against them. 

"No, I wouldn't." She sank her teeth into his lower lip. "I've been paying attention for years, Buchanan." The hands on his waist applied pressure and walked him backward. "Your skill with a blade is sexy as fuck."

"Yeah, baby? You'd like it if I cut that bit of lace off you?"

"Yeah," she sighed, eyes blown and cheeks pink.

Bucky swept her off her feet, turned and tossed her into the center of the bed already half-hard and growing harder by the second. "You can't say shit like that and not expect me to do something about it, baby girl." He crawled onto the bed and prowled up beside her. 

"You can do something about it in the morning. We've got to be up in four hours." 

He let her pull the blankets over them, get all cozy and curl into his chest while he reached over his head for the handle of the knife he'd secreted between the headboard and the mattress.

"Thank you," she sighed and froze him in place.

"For what, Duchess?"

She lightly thumped him on the chest in protest. "You made everything perfect. It was really wonderful, James."

His heart melted and ran out on the floor like warm butter. "That's 'cause it's you, Pen." He left the knife where it was and wrapped his arms around her instead, pressing a kiss to her hair. 

Her knee slid over his thigh and hand to his heart. "And you. I wouldn't have done this without you. You're the only man I've ever loved."

"Shit, Pen." He shifted around until they lay face to face, arms around each other, legs tangled. "It's always been you, Penelope Grace. Always." Even when he was with someone else, it was always Penny in the back of his mind.

"James." Eyes full of love and wet with unshed tears peered at him through the dark as she gently stroked his cheek.

He ducked his head and kissed her sweet and slow. Heart full. Body soft. Mind empty. 

They fell asleep sharing a pillow, resting forehead to forehead.

 


End file.
